Video: Justin Houston Dancing To ‘Poison’ Is Equally Awesome And Terrifying
By Brett Gering
Justin Houston is a 258-pound vessel of testosterone; a breathing nightmare who gets paid to rag-doll giants and derail freight trains.
That being the case, it’s only natural that he lets off steam to…
Bell Biv DeVoe?
First question: Does being afraid of a bow-tied dancing machine make you less of a man?
Answer: No. Most bow-tied dancing machines can’t turn you into a powder. Rule, meet exception.
Follow-up: Did someone slip something in his drink? Only one other man has rubbed himself down and danced that happily in a sweat-soaked undershirt, and he ended up chugging a vase (see: “Have you ever rubbed your leather?” [NSFW]).
Answer: No. “Poison” is four minutes and 24 seconds of unmitigated happiness. The chorus makes anything with a pulse turn into the the cardigan kid from Best Buy. And the hands-on-the-head thing is just a byproduct of 90s R&B—an era where every third video had a depressed soul wiping some form of water from his face before clutching his chest and crying out for the one that got away (because nothing lures ’em back like panic attacks in the shower).
By all accounts, Justin Houston is as good of a person as he is a player. Having said that, watching him dance is, on some Hulk-meets-DeBarge level, terrifying.
Your move, Kelce.
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