Dontari Poe’s 40 Time Was .01 Seconds Slower Than Jameis Winston’s

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Dontari Poe‘s 2012 combine was a job application for the X-Men.

On the heels of his first 40-yard dash, Mike Mayock blurted out, “No, he didn’t run (an unofficial) 4.87 at 346 pounds,” like it insulted his intelligence.

Officially, Poe ran a 4.98, which led to Mayock dubbing him a “340-pound dancing bear.”

In all likelihood, Jameis Winston will be the first man ascending the stairs at the 2015 draft. He’s a prototypical pocket passer who doubled as a capable runner—”doubled,” as in, “He doubled as a decent running threat before barely edging out guys named Jerry Lovelocke at the combine.”

In the 40-yard dash, Winston, 231 pounds, beat 346-pound Dontari Poe by .01 seconds.

In the quarterback’s defense, Poe runs like someone who just ate a Mario star for breakfast. If there ever actually were a zombie apocalypse, they’d U-turn it toward the ocean after seeing No. 92 do a wind sprint; if you can’t catch the 340-pounders, what’s the point?

Still, I don’t know how much Steve Bono weighed, but during his stint in Kansas City, Spock Lite was one of the slowest pound-for-pound humans this side of the hemisphere. So much so, he scored on a 76-yard bootleg because an entire defense doubled down on sanity.

That said, mark off 40 yards, and I’m pretty sure Bono could eke out a 4.96 to this day.

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