Can I Ask You A Personnel Question?


So we have some kind of important game tonight, right?  Who is our opponent again?

You’re going to have plenty of Chiefs/Chargers articles to read today, Addicts, so I thought I’d switch things up a bit.  Normally Big Matt Monday focuses on the previous day’s game.  Since there was no game on the lord’s day this week, I’m free to go off the reservation.  What follows is a day-by-day account of the week I spent undercover as a cleaning lady in Clark Hunt’s Texas mansion.

Just kidding.  “Operation: Wipe Clark’s Butt” did not go as planned.  My costume was choice, but when Mrs. Hunt asked me my name I choked and said Junior Siavii.  Things got pretty hairy.  I ended up having to stab one of my fellow cleaning ladies just to create a diversion and get out of there.  Sweet Consuela.  I’ll miss her.  She taught me so much.

I think the Chiefs will win tonight.  Of course, I thought they’d win last season’s playoff game, too.  Whenever the Chiefs look decent, I let myself believe they’re really good.  I’m a sucker that way.  I’ve seen three wins, my brain has me believing the fourth is in the bag.  But this is still the Chargers.  What can I say, it’s going to be a very exciting game.

Sometimes with a game like this on the horizon, I get so keyed up that focusing on anything else (or even eating) becomes difficult.  So I thought it might be nice to take a break from stressing about tonight’s showdown, and take a leisurely stroll through some recent Chiefs history.  After le jump, my list of the best and worst Chiefs personnel moves of the aughts*.

*For the purposes of this exercise, “aughts” will refer to 2001-2010.  Brian Waters was signed in 2000, and I didn’t want to have to include that, while excluding 2010.  I think we can all agree it’s far more interesting to discuss 2010 at this point.  2011, however, cannot be included, as we don’t yet have enough data to evaluate that offseason.


#5) Brandon Carr– The Chiefs had a surprising amount of success in the fifth round in the aughts.  Scott Fujita, Dante Hall, Brandon Carr and Kendrick “Louis” Lewis were all absolute steals.  Carr is probably the best of the bunch, so he takes the spot.  Had we not foolishly traded Fulita to Dallas for another 5th round pick, he might’ve ranked ahead of Carr here.  I really loved Scott Fujita.

#4) Dwayne Bowe– Its hard to say someone was a steal when they were picked in the first round, so I won’t make that claim with Bowe.  But I gotta think, when it’s all said and done, he will go down as my favorite Chief of all time.  Never has another athlete thrilled and amazed like my man D-Bowe*.  He has to make my list.  And really, think how boring this offense would’ve been without him.  Who the hell would Cassel have thrown to last year?

*The possible exception is MMA fighter Nick Diaz.  Anybody see that fight Saturday?  Another incredible performance.  If you like any combat sport even a little bit, you owe it to yourself to watch Diaz fight.  It’s a truly amazing experience.  I hope GSP has enjoyed being welterweight champ, because my boy is about to take that belt from him. 

#3) Priest Holmes– This was the move that should’ve taught everyone not to use high picks and spend big $ on running backs.  Holmes was claimed off the scrap heap, and put up the biggest numbers in team history.  By far the most successful free agent signing of the last decade.

Was Priest actually a great runner?  Maybe, maybe not.  But his patience and excellent field vision were a perfect compliment to our pulling linemen.  To me, having Priest Holmes on this list is a no-brainer.

#2) Willie Roaf– I can remember people saying at the time that trading a second-round pick for Roaf was a big risk.  He was in his 30s and coming off a season-ending injury.  But what we got for that second rounder was four years of dominant, Pro Bowl play.

I think Willie Roaf, more than anyone else, was responsible for our offensive success.  Things fell apart pretty quickly when he left.  I doubt the same would’ve been true of Waters or Shields, great as they were.  Roaf was the man.   Phenomenal trade.

#1) Jared Allen– We’re still reaping the rewards of Carl Peterson thinking it would be cool to have a backup long-snapper on the roster.  We lucked into Allen, there is no denying it.  But the fact remains, no draft pick made a greater impact in the aughts.  He carried our defense for four years, and the players we got for him have carried our offense ever since.  Drafting him was the best move of the decade by far.  It isn’t close.

The Worst

#5) Thom Jones- You knew I was gonna find a spot on here for my boy, right?  I thought it was a good signing at the time, but hindsight being what it is, it appears he was brought in for all the wrong reasons.  Jones has been an anchor weighing our offense down.  We’ve given him the ball 320 times since we signed him.  That number will probably top 400 before the end.  Every one of those carries was a total waste.  Jones belongs on this list.

#4) LJ contract extension- Crazy-bad decision by Carl Peterson, who somehow hadn’t yet figured out the truth about running backs.  That was probably Carl’s biggest flaw, he was always just a little behind the NFL’s evolving truths.  Throwing so much money at Larry Johnson after seeing what happened with Priest Holmes is probably the single greatest example of this.  Green Bay apparently offered us a first round pick and more for LJ before he held out.  Accepting that trade could’ve really changed things for us.

#3) Kendrell Bell– Bell has got to be considered the worst free agent signing of the aughts.  It’s like he just wasn’t there.  It didn’t help matters that they kept on telling us he was an expert pass rusher and they were going to unleash him.  Hard to imagine a free-agent pick-up ever letting us down worse than Bell.  Remember how excited we all were about him?

The worst part is, Bell’s salary sapped Clark Hunt’s inheritance of almost $15 million oil-bucks.  Unacceptable.  That $ could be collecting interest right now!

#2) Ryan Sims– I’ll let Sims keep this spot warm for Tin Man for a few more years.

Fun fact: In 2003, Sims had three sacks, a pick, and a forced fumble.  He was playing defensive tackle, so presumably his job was to “occupy blockers, clog the lanes, and push the pocket”?  We’ll see how long it takes Jackson to reach Sims levels of playmaking. Note: this is somewhat tongue-in-cheek , although I am looking forward to the reactions.

#1) Turning down the Dorsey offer- People don’t seem to remember this, but New Orleans made what was reportedly a massive offer for the #5 pick while we were on the clock.  At least their first (#8) and second rounder that year, and, depending on who you believe, possible the following year’s first round pick as well.  Hard to sort through rumors like this obviously, but an offer was definitely made, and by all accounts it was a big one.  Herm had to have Dorsey.

This isn’t meant to be anti-Dorsey (although he’s always been hugely overrated by Chiefs fans, obviously), but it was a colossal mistake not to accept that offer.  New Orleans ended up picking Sedrick Ellis, who has been significantly better than Dorsey thus far.  Had we accepted that trade, we would’ve ended up with a better player and at least one other high draft pick, possibly two.  That draft class has already provided so much talent, but it would’ve provided even more if Herm hadn’t arbitrarily fallen in love with Dorsey.

OK, Addicts, thats my list.  Tell me where I messed up.  Who makes your list of best and worst Chiefs personnal decisions of the aughts?