When it comes to sports fandom, there's a category for every fan.
There are the die-hards, the people who will watch every single game no matter what. We have the couch experts, those who always seem to know better than the coaches themselves. There are super fans, casual fans, fair-weather fans, bandwagoners and more. Every team in every sport has them.
Me? I’m the most highly strung of them all: The nervous Nelly.
With the Kansas City Chiefs back in the playoffs, thanks to the unusual way my nervousness manifests itself, which means the kitchen at my house has never looked cleaner.
I’ve always been the nervous type when it comes to sports. I don’t know why. It just kind of happens, especially when I’m watching the Chiefs. Of course, the nerves peak at playoff time. So, what do I do to cope? I clean.
It serves as a kind of mini-distraction. It’s simple to focus on and diverts my angst and nervous energy into something productive, rather than worrying about the huge third down that’s coming up.
But there is a critical element to this: I still need to be able to watch and hear the game and I still watch every play live. Cleaning isn’t something I do instead of watching, but rather a side job to do during timeouts or commercial breaks.
At my place, the kitchen and lounge room are one large space, which means I can easily see the TV anywhere in the room. And so, with the Chiefs-Texans game on and the volume up loud, my nervy hands went to cleaning.
Now, when I say I cleaned, I’m not talking about just stacking away a few plates or loading the dishwasher, I’m talking about getting properly stuck in. No dirt was safe.
The clean dishes next to the sink? They got another wash, just because. After that, they got dried and put away. The counter next to the sink was probably dirty after having all that clean water on it, so of course that got a scrub and a wipe down.
The wiping motion seemed to help push Ka'imi Fairbairn’s second-quarter field goal attempt wide right—or should I say, wipe right—so the kitchen table and the stove top got the same treatment as well. The knobs for the stove are removable so off they came, allowing me to clean not just the knobs themselves, but also the sneaky crumbs that were hiding beneath them.
Next up, the coffee machine. And didn’t this turn out to be an anxious cleaner’s gold mine. The pièce de resistance was the humble drip tray cover, where the coffee cups sit. It’s made from metal and has long, thin gaps for liquid to drop through—which means plenty of long, thin gaps to squeeze a cleaning cloth into. You beauty.
During the fourth quarter, while furious George Karlaftis was furiously sacking C.J. Stroud, I was furiously cleaning these tiny gaps in between plays. It was a match made in heaven. The whole situation resulted in wins across the board. The Chiefs prevailed, I made it through a tense playoff game without imploding, and my kitchen got cleaned to within an inch of its life.
So, during Sunday’s AFC Championship game against Buffalo, while Kansas City is working to make its way back to the Super Bowl, I’ll be working on some sort of cleaning project. Maybe it’ll be vacuuming and mopping, maybe laundry and ironing instead. Whatever it is, I’ll be cleaning my nervous little heart away and cheering on the Chiefs at the same time. I can’t wait.