Kansas City-based milk company packages 11,000 bottles of ‘Eagle Tears’

A local Kansas City-based milk company is keeping things frothy between Chiefs Kingdom and whatever grouping Eagles fans use to refer to their losing selves.

Just when you think Philadelphia fans have likely moved on from their devastating loss to the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl LVII, here comes an udder stomach punch likely to leave Eagles fans curdled on the floor.

That’s because a local Kansas City-based milk supplier—Shatto Milk Company—has decided to serve up some “Eagle Tears” this spring.

Over at Reddit, Twitter use John Owning came across a great post where someone had discovered the fine presentation of the Shatto Milk Company and their limited edition bottles.

We’ll let the post do the heavy lifting here:

If you can’t read the bottle in the photo above, it reads:

“Have you ever tasted eagle tears before? Neither had we. But we gotta say, we weren’t expecting their flavor profile to so closely resemble cheesecake. Cheesesteak, maybe. But not cheesecake. Bottling them was no easy feat. We had to conquer the West, defend our home turf (twice!) and travel all the way to the desert and back. Make no mistake, Kansas City. The contents of this bottle are very precious cargo. Savor it.”

In all seriousness, that description is exactly spot-on. Shatto Milk Company will have this cheesecake-flavored milk available around NFL Draft time. Another flavor called “Golden Age” tastes like Apple Pie milk.

Some of our favorite Eagles could not be reached for comment, including James Sadberry, Jordan Wailata, and Jalen Hurts.