Predicting future KC Chiefs-inspired rule changes

With the Chiefs’ victory over the Bengals in question by many online, let’s take a look at several rule changes that the league could consider heading into 2023.

Twitter has been a fun place to be this week, hasn’t it? Between the vitriol coming directly from the land of chili-topped spaghetti or the other nether regions of the internet inhabited by Kansas City Chiefs-hating NFL fans, nearly every reason under the sun has been cited for the Bengals getting hosed in the AFC Championship and the Chiefs stealing the Lamar Hunt trophy from Joe Shiesty and America’s apparent new sweethearts. The most common reason has, of course, been officiating.

Now, before I dive into the completely hypothetical portion of this total nonsense blog, let me start by saying that the officiating in this game was certainly not up to a standard that you’d like to see in a professional football game. Were there questionable calls that went Kansas City’s way? Absolutely. But there were also calls that went the other way, and while Cincinnati certainly ended up getting the short end of the stick when it came to penalties and yards, the world can’t sit there and pretend that the Chiefs have not been on the shorter end of the stick than the Bengals when it comes to officiating in recent contests. You win some, you lose some, but it all comes back around.

Again, was it subpar? Probably. I don’t think you’d find many people who would deny that, even in Chiefs Kingdom. But was it enough to get the phrase “NFL Rigged” trending on Twitter earlier this week? Please.

When narratives don’t go the way that pundits predict, and more importantly 73% of the public’s money gets swallowed up by the sportsbooks across the country, you’re going to have some smoldering hot takes on your hands in the days following an outcome that seemingly no one outside of Kansas City wanted to see. Even folks with a platform on one of ESPN’s longest-running daytime debate shows like Courtney Cronin, who apparently paid money for a degree she holds from the University of Indiana, were calling into question the NFL’s rules and how they’re interpreted during games.

This makes perfect sense. Sprinting at an offensive player who is giving himself up by stepping out of bounds and shoving him into the bench should certainly not be a 15-yard penalty. Should it even be a penalty at all? Probably not, especially if it means the Chiefs end up with a win. This compelling point from Courtney, who apparently piggybacked off of Frank Isola which seems like the sports talk equivalent to Lady and the Tramp-ing a piece of spaghetti with a rat, got me thinking. What other rules in the NFL just don’t make sense and warrant a change?

We already saw the overtime rules change last off-season because the Bills were completely screwed out of the playoffs when the Chiefs rammed the ball down their throat twice in a matter of 4 minutes and 28 seconds at the end of regulation and overtime in the Divisional round. Never mind that K.C. fell the same way three years prior to Tom Brady and the Patriots, that was fine. But the Chiefs winning in that manner is completely unacceptable. I, for one, am glad they changed that rule.

So what other rules should we change between now and the kickoff of the 2023 season? There are a lot, without question, but I’ve decided to propose the most sensible ones in this blog. See below.

Any team representing a city in Missouri must spot their opponents 14 points to start the game 

Fair is fair. The Chiefs have won too much, and it’s time for the NFL to level the playing field. How can the league pride itself on competitive balance when one team has won the AFC West 7 consecutive times? How can the owners look themselves in the mirror and preach parity when the Chiefs have hosted 5 consecutive AFC Championship games and won 3 of the last 4? It’s unconscionable and it needs to stop.

For every touchdown pass Patrick Mahomes throws, he gets credit for 0.25 TD passes

Good luck demolishing the record books now, “MVPat”. The torrid pace with which Mahomes has began his NFL career is unprecedented. It would be a slap in the face of the game of football if we allowed one quarterback to potentially hold every record in the books without playing for 20+ years. Where’s the fun in that? Choke down this man’s stats and allow the legends to remain legends without the threat of some new-age punk taking all their glory.

Trick plays and unique formations will result in a loss of down for the offense 

This rule was actually written by Quinn Meinerz, but I couldn’t agree with it more. The audacity of these innovative offensive minds and talented quarterbacks to buck the trends of traditional offensive football in favor of trickery and creativity is downright appalling. What happened to the I-formation? I guess we’ve truly forgotten where we came from in today’s NFL, but a few tweaks to the rule book could bring us back to the glory days and I’m all for it.

Coaches with mustaches will be allowed no challenges or timeouts

Listen, rules are rules. If you don’t like them, shave your iconic facial hair. Historically speaking, though, this one might be a net positive for the Chiefs if it were a real rule.

All AFC playoff games will be hosted at neutral sites in either Cincinnati or Buffalo 

Think about the revenue the league can generate from neutral site games. The College Football Playoff model could be a real game-changer for a league that certainly could use a bump in revenue. While 2022 numbers are quite finalized, the league only pulled down $17.19 billion in 2021. If they ever want to reach a trillion dollars they’ve got to start by evening the playing field both figuratively and literally. This will put a stop to teams like Kansas City stealing the top playoff seed and hogging all of the hosting rights to the AFC Championship game.

Division winners in the AFC West must relinquish their salary cap money to the rest of the division

This couldn’t be fairer. The Raiders are about to saddle $40+ million in Derek Carr money for 2023 with no intention of him being their guy going forward. The Chargers haven’t paid Justin Herbert yet but are $19 million over the cap heading into 2023. The Broncos don’t have another first-round draft pick until 2043. Let’s Robin Hood this thing. Why should the Chiefs be rewarded for drafting well and structuring star players’ contracts in incredibly intelligent ways?

These are just a few that I think should be at least considered. Feel free to sound off in the comments if you have any ideas as well. We can surely put together a petition on Change.org and join the sore losers in Cincinnati.