The Kansas City Chiefs got an excellent prospect in DT, Chris Jones in the second round of the 2016 NFL Draft. They also got a guy who will likely some day be an answer to a snarky sports trivia question.
The opinions on whether or not Chris Jones was a good pick for the Chiefs will be thrown around for the next few months and perhaps, years. There are sure to be plenty of hot takes. Should the Chiefs have taken a position of need instead? Will Jones eventually replace DT, Dontari Poe? Will Jones be relentlessly hazed by his teammates over his dong falling out during the NFL Combine?
Yeah, Jones is that guy. Remember?
During the NFL Combine, Jones was running the 40-yard dash when, uh, his frank and beans made a desperate bid for freedom and briefly, succeeded. After all, those compression shorts the NFL makes all the prospects wear are super tight. You can’t really blame them. Frankly, I’m surprised something like this hasn’t happened before.
Anyway, once Jones realized he has a prison break on his hands, he finished the dash before diving head first onto the turf to give himself cover to, er, cover himself.
And look, we know what’s coming here in the comments of this post.
“This isn’t news!”
“Why bring this up, stick to football!”
You know who cares?
You will. You will remember this post and this bit of trivia five years from now when you’re sitting at a dive bar trying to drink away your sorrows following yet another Chiefs AFC Championship loss in which Andy Reid attempted to call all six of the team’s timeouts in the first two minutes of the game. And on that day, my friends, you will meet Jeff, an annoying hipster in tight pants who will have spent the last hours asking obscure trivia questions to the bar because this is one of his seven jobs. And when Jeff decides to as an “ironic sports question,” if you aren’t already passed out face down in the bathroom, you will remember this article and you will get the question right and you will get a free shot and that free shot will finally put you out of your misery.
So if you don’t like posts about dongs, stop reading AA and be prepared to lose at bar trivia.
God rest your soul.