This Jason Avant Song Will Make Your Day Better One Word At A Time

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When it comes to Jason Avant, I’m partial. Crisp route-running, sticky-handed receivers always catch my eye, and the Kansas City Chiefs’ newest addition is a paragon of those two qualities.

That being the case, this song, performed by The Philadelphia Sports Band, grew on me. I say “grew” because, at first, your mind stalls due to over-processing the audio ambush that is “Jason Avant Is a Great Receiver.”

Within the first ten seconds, you picture some 19th-century piano player working his finger-wizardry, with a drunken, tone-deaf Frenchman singing around an empty saloon. And truthfully, nothing throughout the one minute and 45 seconds causes that to change.

Normally, the above is a recipe for closed tabs. However, it soon becomes apparent—roughly around the “I ‘vant to catch a lot of balls, yeah” section—that said wordsmith wrote and rehearsed two lines, gave the thumbs-up to a pianist and winged the rest.

A preview of the lyrics: “A ball gets thrown to Jason Avant, he catches it. That’s what he does. He’s a wonderful person. He’s a wonderful man.”

(Click the play button at your own risk, but just know that you signed yourself up for a day of random whistling.)

The worst (or best, arguably) thing about this is that every time a place blares “Sweet Caroline,” my mind will rewind to an image of Adam Sandler, hammered, singing, “Ohhh, Ohhh, Jason Avant, he’s a wonderful catcherrr of balls.”

Good luck on your Saturday.