My (Twitter) Encounter With The Black Hole

December 15, 2013; Oakland, CA, USA; Kansas City Chiefs running back

(25) celebrates after scoring a 71-yard touchdown during the third quarter against the Oakland Raiders at O.co Coliseum. Mandatory Credit: Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

It’s all fun and games until a Raiders fan gets their feelings hurt.

Yesterday I found myself – well, really the Arrowhead Addict account – inundated with tweets from angry Oakland Raiders fans who were severely insulted by a tweet I sent out earlier in the day. What they found offensive about the tweet, I do not know, but they were indeed upset about all 140 characters of my well-crafted tweet.

Maybe, dear readers, you can help me identify what may have caused the sudden flood of mentions from Raiders fans. The tweet in question:

Apparently this was a very NSFW tweet on my part, thus saith the Raideratti. So let me explain myself first and maybe you’ll understand why I would release such a tweet to the world.

It all began with a tweet from Chiefs backup running back Knile Davis which featured this splendid Instagram photo.

You’ll notice on Davis’ pool table/dresser/counter/shoe shelf/multipurpose table he has a t-shirt of one Bo Jackson, one of my favorite athletes. I stared at this picture and lusted over the shirt. I wanted it badly. (Note: I repented later, my soul is at peace.)

I tweeted about it from the AA account and then lusted some more.

Then it hit me with the force of Bo Jackson trucking Brian Bosworth: I just tweeted an Oakland Raiders shirt via the Arrowhead Addict twitter account.

I felt dirty.

I felt shame.

I felt [checks thesaurus] opprobrium. [Checks dictionary: “the disgrace or the reproach incurred by conduct considered outrageously shameful; infamy.” Yeah that. Definitely that.]

I needed to quickly send a tweet from the Arrowhead Addict account that would balance the global ch’i and save the world. If not, we may all turn into San Diego Chargers. Deity forbid!

The result was “The Tweet.” And with it came a flood of tweet from many Raiders fans who should have been working but clearly were not. Let me share a few of my favorites.

Many tweets had some version of “No [insert Hall of Fame player here]” and these people clearly missed the point. See, I don’t like Tim Brown so I don’t consider him to be a good thing to come out of the Raiders organization. Why? Because he’s a Raider.

Marcus Allen? Now he’s a Chief. I like him. And Bo Jackson? He was a Kansas City Royal. Those are good people I can get behind, not Howie Long.

But then the tweets started getting weird.

Bill Romanowski? What?! Really??? When you think “Raiders Greatness” the fourth name that comes to mind is Bill Romanowski? C’mon, man! But this wasn’t the worst one.

Tim Brown? Hall of famer, okay. Howie Long? Hall of famer, okay. Napoleon Kaufman? Hall of fa— wait, NAPOLEON KAUFMAN?!

You know what the best part of the Napoleon Kaufman thing is, aside from the absurdity of mentioning a guy who had one 1,000 yard season and 17 career touchdowns in six seasons next to two hall of famers? The very, very, very best part?

Kaufman was born in Kansas City, Missouri.

There were more tweets. Oh, there were more tweets indeed. This is about the time I switched into Charlie Day mode.

Who would have thought all of this over a Knile Davis Instagram of Nike gear?

It was great learning Oakland has 14 hall of famers (KC has 12, not zero as some may have assumed) and Tim Brown did, in fact, play for the Raiders. Learning Kaufman and Romanowski hold a high status within Raider lore was also an important thing I learned. The Black Hole was indeed everything I thought it would be and more, even if it was just the Twitter version.

I’ll let Mr. Day have the final word.

P.S. I encourage everyone to go read Just Blog Baby to keep yourself up to date on the goings on with the Oakland Raiders. It is always good to be well informed and Just Blog Baby will help you accomplish that goal. Chase Ruttig runs things over there and he’s a good sport (and also Canadian!).