K.C. Chiefs: Observations, Speculations And A Few Questionable Calls You’ll Never Read About In Any Mad Magazine

We know the Kansas City Chiefs went 2-0h by beating the Dallas Cowboys in a packed Arrowhead Stadium on Sunday afternoon by a score of 17-16 but, we’ll never find out why gameday announcers, Tim Ryan and Chris Meyers kept calling Dontari Poe, Dontario Poe or why the officiating was so “consistently” bad… I mean, how is it possible to be making bad calls but be doing it at such a consistent rate that all my Cowboys fan-friends (I use this term lightly) complained as much as I did.

This game was filled with so many twists & turns and sideshows that I heard The Lord of the Rings, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Barnum & Bailey are all considering adding another ring.

Did anybody else pee in their britches a tiny bit when they saw Mr. Sean McGrath make a catch and then get up and face the camera with that Grizzly Adams Family beard big enough to hide squirrels in?

Guess who has the #2 ranked defense in “points allowed per game?” That’s right, our freakin’ awesome Kansas City Chiefs! The Seahawks are first with 5 points allowed per game. The Chiefs second with 9… and every other team in the NFL has 15 or more points allowed per game.

Now, guess who’s defense is #28 in the league in total points allowed with 60. Right again, the Eagles of Phillyville.

This clearly, easily by 1000%, has been my favorite week for sports radio here in the Dallas area.

Some of my favoritest reasons that the Chiefs won this game, ripped from the lips of Dallas Sports radio media greats, includes:

1) “The refs were bad.”

2) “The Chiefs are a really good team.”

3) “RB DeMarco Murray left yards on the field.” Hmm, I guess 12 carries for 25 yards will do that to ya.

4) “DeMarco Murray didn’t get enough carries.” So, 2.1 ypc and you want him to have more carries?

5) The new/old OC Bill Callahan called “the same old weak junk.” That quote was a Terry Bradshaw special.

Ah, the glories of watching the Cowboys lose to my favorite team.

Eric Fisher sure is an inspiring RT to watch ain’t he? Can’t you wait until he moves over to LT and takes Brandon Albert’s place?? He may need a few more off-seasons in the weight room to look like he belongs in the NFL. The Chiefs don’t have a AAA league ballclub they can send him down to, do they??? Here’s to praying that he just had a bad, very bad, game.

I wonder if Glenn Dorsey is DVR-ing all of the Chiefs games so he can finally learn what it’s like to play like a real nose tackle in this league?

“Poe Knows Nose.” Hey, I think there’s a marketing campaign there.

Anyone think Jamaal Charles should get some reps at QB so he can pick up some of those carries that Alex is getting. He’s like the prodigal son of running backs. “Please come home JC, please come home.”

I know Knile Davis had the fumble on a kickoff but, I’m predicting a big game this Thursday night against the Eagles. You heard it here first. “K.D. KOs The Eagles!”

Dwayne Bowe’s “Bombs Over Baghdad” description of what the Chiefs passing game would be like when the regular season comes around has turned out to be more, “Hand Grenades to the Crossing guards.” Alex seems a little near sighted, right? Will Chiefs fans ever see a pass longer than 9 yards? Wait, this just in! The Chiefs are saving their long ball game for Philly. Balls to the wall!

While leading the league with 9 sacks, the Chiefs will eclipse their total for the 2012 season (27) in game #7 granted they continue this pace. I never have believed that stats tell the whole story but, when a team is winning there are always stats that help to tell why. QB pressure is a biggie! Poe Knows Sacks!

Did I mention yet that Chris Myers and Tim Ryan’s favoritism was shockingly BRILLIANT network planning. Sure made all my friends in cow-patty-land giddy.

Do the Chiefs need a #1 CB? Either Dez Bryant is Superman or Brandon Flowers is really not a Pro Bowl level performer like many have been touting (including myself). Somebody needs to go looking for his pants because he was just exposed! Badly. In fact, I wondered why the Cowboys weren’t throwing to Dez more? They could have easily beaten the Chiefs had they done so.

I have to admit these are not your daddy’s Chiefs.

One of my favorite sound bites this week from Dallas sports radio, 1310 the Ticket: “Maybe Romo’s medicine for the pain in his rib cage was wearing off and so he couldn’t throw the ball like he normally does in the fourth quarter.” Ah, isn’t that a cute one.

Question: would you rather see Tamba Hali and Justin Houston dropping into coverage… or giving the QB whiplash? I vote whiplash. I just didn’t see enough of my favorite LBs in the QBs jersey. I like most of what I’m seeing in Bob Sutton’s defense but, you can fake the opposition out so much that you end up not using your best players to do what they are designed to do.

Bottom line is, the Dallas Cowboys looked better than I thought they would be. Which translates to, it looks like the Kansas City Chiefs could be a legitimate playoff team.

I’d sure like to be a fly on the wall of Brandon Carr’s mind (“Damn, I think I made a mistake going to Dallas”).

Is there anyone else in the house that wants to rename the position of “the punter” and have it changed to “the Colquitt.” The man’s a left footed Goddity.

Why the “H-E-Goalposts” didn’t Andy Reid throw the red flag on that play down near the goal line? For a few moments I thought I was having LSD flashbacks of that time I spent huddled in a corner of the Eagles locker room back in ’99… but, then I remembered, I’ve never taken LSD… and it wasn’t a flashback at all. Fortunately, the Chiefs won… and I have peacefully returned to my AA (Arrowhead Addict) meetings.

When you daydream about playing QB, don’t you often wonder with great wonder… how in the world a QB can let time run off the play clock when a giant sized (by the way, don’t say “giant sized” in front of Cowboy fans, it makes them twitch) play clock, is right in front of them?

At one point I was wondering if Flowers was going to need trauma care for burn victims. Pro Football Focus (PFF) gave Flower a -3.8 for his performance on Sunday.

Back to Ryan and Meyers who called the game… I’m taking an Addict poll here so is there anyone willing to flip the switch if we can get them convicted on manslaughter charges from butchering so many names during the game? “That’s the night when the lights when out in Georgia.” Please.

How many of you were thinking to yourself during the game… this could be the Super Bowl matchup come next February at MetLife Stadium in Jersey? Nah, me neither.

Will the national media ever appreciate how looney-toons-happy a Chiefs fan can get when they’re 2-0 going into week three?

How about you Chiefs fans… any random musings?