Adam’s Season Preview: Schedule Picks, Jedi Mind Tricks And, Yes, Vick

The Broncos are terrible now that Brandon Marshall and Elvis Dumervil (albeit just for the year) have left the building. Their defense made the Jags look like the Colts and Marcedes Lewis look like Dallas Clark.

If the Titans played the Raiders every week, Chris Johnson would have 4,000 total yards and the former Oilers would cruise to a perfect 16-0 record.

Meanwhile, out in the lots of surf and a little turf (when the team is winning) land of San Diego, the Chargers aren’t the team they used to be. LT Marcus McNeil and superstar WR Vincent Jackson are currently holding out. Antonio Cromartie and LaDainian Tomlinson, formerly the Bolts’ best players on D and O, respectively, are playing for the Jets in tonight’s opener. Norv Turner is still the league’s most overrated coach not named Wade Phillips. The team has one of the worst homefield advantages in the league. The Chiefs even won out there recently. Most of all, I’m not sure their pass rush is any better than ours now that Shawne Merriman is about as dependable as Lindsay Lohan.

Chiefs pessimists, am I missing something? Why do people think the Chargers are so unbeatable — Jedi mind tricks? As for the Broncos, Marshall, Jay Cutler and Tony Scheffler have great foresight, because they bailed at the right times. I was dead wrong about Josh McDaniels; the guy is an O.C. at this point, nothing more. Lastly, the Raiders. Anyone who picked them as their sleeper — and a lot of pundits did — needs to wake up themselves. A Campbell’s can of soup would have been as effective as Jason Campbell was under center yesterday. Hey, neither are nearly as good as you thought they’d be when you were shopping and both are super easy to sack.

The Chiefs have added Thomas Jones, Ryan Lilja, Eric Berry, Dexter McCluster, Casey Wiegmann, Charlie Weiss and Romeo Crennel. Sure, the offense needs a downfield homerun threat and a legitimate RT, but I think one of the top 10 offensive coordinators in NFL history can mask those problems. Sure, our front seven is weak, but our young secondary is strong and if anyone can make tasty lemonade out of rotten lemons it’s Romeo, O Romeo. Meanwhile, Eric Berry should help limit big plays surrendered defensively. Also, a woken-up D-Bowe along with the additions of Mr. Jones and General McCluster will help Matt Cassel move the ball. Remember, his receivers dropped more balls than any other corps in the L a season ago.

The Chiefs have more talent, better coaching and the entire team has had more time to gel. They have to be significantly better. Gotta be.

Now, let’s look at the schedule.

Tonight’s game is the best time to take on the Bolts. They are missing two of their offense’s most vital players, and a 9:15 PM Monday Night Football game to open the New Arrowhead should give the Chiefs the best homefield advantage any team will enjoy all regular season. I think they can win tonight. Not saying they will, but I say it is a 50-50 proposition. As for the Browns and the 49ers, both teams lost to albatrosses yesterday, the latter getting spanked by a team masquerading Mike Williams as a No. 1 Wr. Mike Singletary’s Bay Bruisers were so pathetic they had a mandatory team meeting after the game where the coach and Frank Gore ripped Alex Smith and Michael Crabtree. The Red and Gold can win those two contests.

So, if the Chiefs go 2-1 or 3-0 riding into the bye, then get two weeks to prepare for the Colts. The Chiefs will likely lose that game on the road, but as we saw yesterday a strong running game is the recipe for staying competitive with Manning and Co. Simply keeping up would give the upstart Chiefs a huge confidence boost.

After a likely loss to the Texans, and let’s play it conservative and call the Chiefs 2-3, the Chiefs have a cakewalk schedule: Jags and Bills at home, before going out to Oakland. That’s three wins. 5-3. Even if they lose at Denver, I see them coming home and beating Derek Anderson (that guy is a joke, as we saw yesterday when he targeted Larry Fitzgerald 15 times and hit him three times), probably dropping a close one to Seattle on the road and beating Denver at home. That makes the Chiefs 7-5, worst-case scenario. And I’m giving two teams that are likely worse than our Chiefs, Denver and Seattle, Ws based on homefield advantage. We’ll lose to the Chargers out in S.D. with their stars back, beat the putrid Rams and their rookie QB in the STL, drop one to the Titans at home and then beat the hated Raidahs at home in the season finale.

By my calculation that makes us 9-7. Hell, say we lose to the Cards, Jags or the 49ers. We’re still 8-8. That will put us in the AFC West hunt, because the 0-1 Broncos and Raiders will not make it to .500, and the Chargers, whom were dissected above, are as overrated as that little douche Justin Beiber is with the kiddies. I am predicting an 8-8 season with considerable upside. Outside of the Redskins — who now have a legitimate head coach and QB — and Texans, the Chiefs are going to be the biggest surprise in the entire league.

If my vote of confidence in Matt Cassell and Todd Haley proves to be undeserved, I have a suggestion. It was one I made on about two years ago and I’m sticking to it. Chiefs fans and the NFL Network kind of got a chuckle over it, but it turns out I was right. Michael Vick still has his skills, and if the Eagles choose Kevin Kolb over him for some reason we should look at the free agent next year if Cassel fails. Charlie Weiss would step in as head coach, and the talent around Vick would be perfect for him. Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones would play a better version of Warrick Dunn and T.J. Duckett. Dexter McCluster and Dwayne Bowe would give him the perfect short-passing game he needs. His legs could help keep the defense off the field. He’d be perfect.

Vick was electric last night. Fans who compare his passing numbers to Pro Bowl pocket passers don’t understand his talent. He’s the best wildcat player of all-time, but he’s also an above-average passing QB. How do you stop a guy like that? When he had the best talent around him he’s had, only the Greatest Show on Earth could keep him out of the Super Bowl. As far as his crimes are concerned, the guy paid his debt to society. I didn’t hear any Chiefs fans going nuts about Jared Allen, who committed crimes. Look, what he did was despicable, but the man more than paid his debt to society as the National dogfighting scapegoat and appears reformed. This country was started on second chances, and the Chiefs have done well with “second chance” players. Priest Holmes. Trent Green. Eddie Kennison. Chris Chambers. You see the trend?

So, if my prediction flops and the former pessimistic Arrowhead Adam is revealed to have been reborn an opitimist in his time away from the Addict, this is the back-up plan — Vick-Weiss 2011.

But I’m expecting good things from the 2010-11 Chiefs. Let’s hope I’m right and our boys get back to .500 with an even brighter future ahead.