Real Men Of Genius: AFC West Edition
The other day, I really gave an earful to the American beer industry for their awful tasting brews and insulting commercials.
There is one group of beer ads, however, that I have always been impressed with even if their beer tastes like a glass of water spiked with Listorine.
That’s right, I am talking about Bud Light’s Real Men of Genius commercials/radio ads.
I used to do this from time to time when I did my blogging at Arrowhead Pride and now, I am bringing it to the AA Faithful.
AFC West ads after the jump.
Here is an original to get you started.
Now that you have the theme in your head, here we go:
Arrowhead Addict Presents: Real Men of Genius
Real men of genius!
Today we salute you Mr. Crypt Keeper Al Davis
Mr. Crypt Keeper Al Daaaaaaaaavis!
Back in the day, you had it all.
Girls.
Super Bowl rings.
And a fat guy that spawned a billion dollar video game series.
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaden express!
But now, you’ve fallen on hard times.
You’re old.
Senile.
And that fat guy is now a spokesperson for TOUGH ACTIN TANAKTIN!!!
I goooot a fungal itch!
Sure, you have a roster of 53 first round draft picks
But you’ve had to change your slogan to “just bust, baby!”
Jamaaaaaaaaaaaaarcus where art thou?
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh master of the draft bungle,
Because no matter how many losing season you string together,
Not even you were dumb enough to draft Tim Tebow.
Mr. Crypt Keeper Al Daaaaaavis!
Arrowhead Addict Presents: Real Men of Genius
Real men of geeeenius!
Today, we solute you Mr. Biggest Douche Bag We’ve Ever Met Philip Rivers
Mr. Biggest Douche Bag We’ve Ever Met Philip Riiiiiiiiiiiiivers!
They might call you Philip in the regular season,
But come playoff time, you go by a different moniker.
Choke!
Can you dig it?
You might be able to throw a football
But what you’re really good at,
Is throwing in the towel.
Thoooooooooooooow that interception!
You’re opponents don’t like you, you’re teammates don’t like you,
Hell, even the fans don’t like you, but you aren’t phased.
You’ve got a call to argue and a referee to whine to.
Thaaaaat was pass interference!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh Proprietor of the Playoff Punchline…
Cause even though you never win a Super Bowl
You’ll always be the biggest douche bag in San Diego!
Mr. Biggest Douche Bag We’ve Ever Met Philip Riiiiiiiiiiiiivers!
Arrowhead Addict Presents: Real Men of Genius!
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal men of Geeeeenius!
Today we salute you, Mr. I’m Not Bill Belichick But I Try So Hard To Be That I Even Wear A Hoodie Like A Tool Bag Josh McDaniels!
Mr. I’m Not Bill Belichick But I Try So Hard To Be That I Even Wear A Hoodie Like A Tool Bag Josh McDaaaaaaaaaaaaaaniels!
Well, Josh you had some big shoes to fill,
While Shanahan brought them Elway and Super Bowls,
You brought them Jay Cutler and a neck beard!
Someone get that man a raaaaaaaaaaaaaazor!
Sure, your craptastic gimmicky offense worked at first,
But by the time you finished pissing off your best players by being a colossal prick,
Jamaal Charles was making Camp Baily swallow a giant cloud of dust!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh Nostradamus of the Neckbeard,
Because even thought you’re not Al Daivs,
You’re still the dipshit that drafted Tebow!
Mr. I’m Not Bill Belichick But I Try So Hard To Be That I Even Wear A Hoodie Like A Tool Bag Josh McDaaaaaaaaaaaaaaniels!