Arrowhead Addict loves this team too much to be concerned with repetitiveness. The message needs to be said: contrary to popular opinion, the Chiefs have tons of better options at the #5 selection than any of the available offensive tackles. Paddy and I have both done our best to send this theme home. But don’t think we won’t revert to ripping off SNL to sell our point.
Paddy: Hi… Please don’t select tackle with the fifth overall. The Chiefs have so much potential right now. We think the offensive line has improved. And last year we passed on tons of skill positions to select a 3-4 defensive end. Please… just please don’t select tackle with the fifth overall.
Andrew: Can you PLEASE not select Russell Okung? I mean, hey.
Paddy: Hi there! I’m happy you popped in… Please consider other options with the fifth overall. Brandon Albert really looked good in the last month of the season. Zone-blocking is tricky and he just needed time to adjust. Looks pretty good there now–I mean it, don’t try to change the subject. I’d hate to disappoint him by moving him inside. Please don’t select tackle with the fifth overall.
Andrew: There’s plenty of skill talent out there that can make the Chiefs look good so DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME on a tackle! C’mon!
Paddy: Well if it isn’t my favorite General Manager/Draft expert/Chiefs fan. We so rarely get visitors, we’re so humbled you stopped by. Are you losing weight? Well you look it… Please know that the fifth overall is too valuable this year. We can’t get any free agents this year. The Draft is the only means of improvement. The fifth overall is worth more than entire teams’ drafts combined. Have you seen some of the other elite talent? Don’t blow me off, I’ll come to every game. Please know that the fifth overall is too valuable this year.
Andrew: FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY. WHERE are your priorities? The guy SAID he’d come to every game! Whatever happened to COMPASSION? GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER and DO THE SMART THING.
Paddy: You don’t even have to consider reaching instead.
Andrew: It doesn’t HAVE to be reach! TRY THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX FOR ONCE.
Paddy: I will send you flowers every day of every week of every year if you do not go tackle with the fifth overall. Think I’m kidding? I’m not. That’s how much this means to me. I will commit myself to it, even on holidays. I’ve just seen so much this year in college football from all sorts of talented players that I find it hard to believe you can’t locate a single player that would help us more than a tackle. We’ve been waiting so long in Kansas City for something dynamic. Don’t turn away, you’re only going to be immersed in your personnel bubble that marries itself to conventional wisdom. Just, please… don’t go tackle. I will send you flowers every day of every week of every year if you do not go tackle with the fifth overall.
Andrew: PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS. I CAN’T SIT IDLY BY WHILE THIS FRANCHISE IDLES WITH MEDIOCRE SELECTIONS ON TOP OF OTHER MEDIOCRE SELECTIONS. I BOUGHT A $800 GRILL TO BARBECUE WITH EVERY SUNDAY, AND I’M NOT GOING TO BE WASTING MY FINE BRATS IF I KNOW OUR DEFENSE IS GOING TO LEAK LIKE A SIEVE, AND OUR OFFENSE IS AVERAGING THREE YARDS A PLAY, ONLY TO KNOW THAT WE USED THE BEST OPPORTUNITY WE HAD AT PRIMO TALENT ALL OFFSEASON TO PICK UP A FREAKING TACKLE. TELL YOUR WIFE YOU SENT THE DAMN FLOWERS FOR HER — DO YOU THINK WE MIND? DO YOU CARE ABOUT KANSAS CITY FOOTBALL AT ALL!? IF YOU DO THIS YOU WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF AA’S PITCHFORKS AT ONE ARROWHEAD DRIVE.
Paddy: We’re not going to go over the top here. We just want you to do the right thing. Don’t select tackle with the fifth overall.