Crane Damage – The Day Was Darkest Before The Dawn


The end of this season for the Chiefs was one of my darkest moments of fandom in any sport.  It appeared we were doomed as fans of the good guys in Red and Gold.  It was apparent that Herm Edwards was going to stay the coach after tearing the team down to the dregs of the NFL and telling us to “get over it” and Carl had a year left on his contract. The stadium, the starting QB, the defense and my emotions were all in shambles.

We were forced to watch one of the worst Chiefs teams in franchise history.  I swore at the TV, kicked small animals, and thought about suicide.  Nonetheless, I donned a toilet seat during the final game that said FIRE HERM and braved single digit temps and the wrath of Carl — I let my voice be heard.  The wait for news was killing me, Herm, Carl, 2 wins…no end in sight.  Just like the title says, the day is always the darkest before the dawn.

After spending some time at the Fantasy Football Pro Bowl in Hawaii thanks to my massive pwnage of the Arrowhead Addict Fantasy League this year, I have risen again like the sun and am burning bright with cautious optimism for my beloved Chiefs.

I am so pleased with my Chiefs this offseason I went and picked up a new Chiefs hat. (No thank you card necessary Clark.) (It was right next to the away LJ jersey for $19.95) No more Harm, no more Carl, Clark showed us he’s got some cojones and with any luck — we won’t be sidestepping renovations at the stadium this year.  We’ve still got free agency and the draft yet to come before we get a good idea of what team we will be looking at in 2009.  If the Dolphins can come back from a one-win season and make the playoffs with Ricky “Michael Phelps” Williams and Chad “Freakin” Pennington at QB then there is no reason the Chiefs — in a weak AFC West — can’t make the playoffs next year with even just a little help on our lines and middle of their defense.

So in tribute to this fine start to the offseason, walk with me around the Internet…will you?  Some football related some not — on this joyous occasion simply enjoy the ride.  Just click when you see the links and enjoy the multimedia Crane Damage Experience…

This didn’t take long, first day of cuts and the Cowboys cut PacMan Jones.

When Herm got fired I ……….

If you don’t get that joke, well.  Fine.

Oh and 1:39-1:48 in this video, I felt the same way about Herm Edwards.

Brodie Croyle’s dad got hurt skiing, these guys are just too damn funny to get rid of.  I think from now on, every season, no matter what…we start Brodie at QB…until he’s like 50 years old.

It can be a new tradition.  Brokie comes out, takes a snap or two and gets hurt.  It will be like Rocky: only he will never win- and that’s what will make it great.  Think of the props in that game! Will it be a knee at +175 or a broken neck at +2000?  Brokie can give the crowd a big thumbs up from the cart as he’s driven away to heal up for next season, year after year- horrific injury after horrific injury.

Who needs the Preacher Herm Edwards for motivation when Brokie is out there at the start of every season?… sacrificing his body for the good of the team!  Teammates and fans will shake their heads, and cover their mouths while watching him run on the field-but he goes out there anyway, profiles in courage indeed. Maybe after that first game he gets hurt in each year, we can petition the NFL to designate him “Stunt QB”, a non-roster position; only for him to come in when its too dangerous for the real starter, but I digress.

How about an offense to top the Arrowspread?  One where all 11 players are eligible to catch a pass…? I’d love to see Brokie run this in the opener.

Everyone Hates Whitlock, coming this fall to CBS.

Think that Harrison TD in the SB cost you some money?  Phil Ivey laughs at you.

Before Haley’s Hiring, the Chiefs were 100/1 odds to win the SuperBowl. (still is on Bodog)

After?  Well, believe it or not its gotten worse.  It’s +12500 meaning $100 will net you $12,600.

Enough fun for me chil’rens, I’m off to watch highlights from the SuperBowl for the 30th time, it’s my new favorite DVD called Of Course it’s Rigged But You’re Still Going to Watch.