Dec 16, 2012; Oakland, CA, USA; Oakland Raiders kicker Sebastian Janikowski (11) kicks the field goal against the Kansas City Chiefs during the fourth quarter at Coliseum. The Oakland Raiders defeated the Kansas City Chiefs 15-0. Mandatory Credit: Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

Raiders Complete Sweep Of Chiefs: “And They Still Suck!”

In the event that my headline doesn’t tell you where my head is this Tuesday morning, allow me to clarify: I HATE THE OAKLAND RAIDERS!!!

I’m typically salivating for Raider Week by the final whistle of the preceding game. Midway through last week, I noticed that my standard loathing of the forthcoming Raiders just wasn’t there. The Chiefs are wrapping up what is arguably their worst season in franchise history. Being sapped by one disappointment after another in 2012 made it tough for me to work up a desire to see Kansas City kill Oakland (with fire). That was until the Raiders beat the Chiefs with five Sebastian Janikowski field goals on Sunday. It’s not the loss that burns though. It’s dealing with their insufferable blackhole of a fanbase that I can’t handle.

Beating the Kansas City Chiefs means never having to say you’re sorry. Make no mistake Raiders fans, you root for one sorry organization. At the risk of being the pot to call the kettle black (and silver), I’ll leave no stone unturned in telling you why. I’m an honest man though so I’ll start with an admission.

It pains me to say this, but the Raiders currently stand to be remembered ahead of the Chiefs. They have three Super Bowl wins to a lone Chiefs’ NFL championship victory in 1970. There’s no bigger feather to have in your cap. That is the coup de grâce of NFL gloating. Fortunately for me, none of my “friends” who support that organization could tell you a thing about their last trip to the promised land. Most of them are barely old enough to remember January 22, 1984. I’d be willing to wager that none of them would recognize Jim Plunkett if he introduced himself as “James” and said he once threw a touchdown pass in a mid-80′s Super Bowl.

I’m sure by now some of you think I’ve conveniently overlooked the Raiders’ 2002 Super Bowl appearance. Nay nay my friends, I remember that game well! That was the fateful Sunday evening where your precious pirates were run out of Qualcomm Stadium by halftime (Tampa Bay won 48-21). That loss sent Oakland into a dizzying decade-long spiral down the NFL drain.

Here are the Raiders’ final results dating back to 2003:

    • 2012 – Record: 4-10, currently in 3rd (with two games left to play)
    • 2011 – Record: 8-8, 3rd place finish
    • 2010 – Record: 8-8, 3rd place finish
    • 2009 – Record: 5-11, 3rd place finish
    • 2008 – Record: 5-11, 3rd place finish
    • 2007 – Record: 4-12, 3rd place finish
    • 2006 – Record: 2-14, 4th place finish
    • 2005 – Record: 4-12, 4th place finish
    • 2004 – Record: 5-11, 4th place finish
    • 2003 – Record: 4-12, 3rd place finish

    There you have it boys and girls. That’s good for 49-109 (.310) and a 3rd or 4th place AFC West finish in each of the last ten seasons. Here’s the most damning statistic of all, Oakland has had ten consecutive seasons without a winning record. That’s what you have to brag about this week Raider fan! Sure, your squad just completed a sweep of the Chiefs with a jaw-dropping victory on your home field (where only Janikowski recorded points), but is that really worth boasting over?

    The Chiefs were without their two best wide receivers on Sunday. Dwayne Bowe is finished for the season with broken ribs. Steve Breaston was a healthy scratch again this week. Apparently he’s sleeping with a group of Kansas City coaching wives (I’m kidding). With the two of them out, Jamaal Charles was keyed on and taken away. That made Kansas City’s offense one-dimensional and Brady Quinn a sitting duck. The Chiefs had just 119 total yards on offense on Sunday. Oakland should’ve won this game by three touchdowns.

    While I’ll never actively (or passively) root for this team to lose games, I realize that the Chiefs are now one step closer to drafting West Virginia’s Geno Smith. Kansas City has that to look forward to. Conversely, Oakland is still trying to explain away one of the worst trades in recent NFL history. A #1 in 2012 and a conditional #2 in 2013 for Carson Palmer? That’s how you answer the quarterback problem after Jason Campbell and JaMarcus “one of the biggest busts in NFL Draft history” Russell? Enjoy the victory guys; this was your Super Bowl. You’ll see the Chiefs again in 2013 and I suspect they’ll have a real signal caller the next time the two teams square up. Be afraid, be very afraid.

    I know full well that the team I support is the worst in the NFL. It’s time Raider Nation realized they aren’t far behind. Those 4-10 west coast world beaters are hardly the ’85 Bears my Facebook timeline would have me to believe. I tip my hat to the Raiders for being the better team in head-to-head competition this year. Turn the volume on the bragging down a bit though, will ya? You’ve managed only to distinguish yourselves as the prettier ugly girl. In three weeks, you’ll be at home (like the Chiefs) while the truly attractive girls are at prom.

    Sunday’s shutout loss at Oakland-Alameda renewed my hatred of that woeful and soulless organization. May the fires of my hostility forever burn hot in the most hidden parts of my heart. The king has returned to detest the drab colors of your existence! You’ve brought shame upon a prideful group of men, but they will regroup when the winter of their discontent is over. When the spring descends upon Kansas City they will reunite and rally around a brave young warrior named Geno. He will lead them to restore all that has been taken from them.

    *starts slow clap*

    Until next time, Addicts!

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    • Leon Ritz

      THe Raider are like the really ugly chick standing next to even uglier fat chicks. And while I will love to see next years games against the Raiders I’m thinking more Mike Glennon calling the signals and Manti Te’o hitting people for the Chiefs.

    • disqus_aV2XR2nHrK

      Wait who lost the game ?

      • Stacy D. Smith

        Mission accomplished. #dead

        • D man

          too bad, it time look at next year. For I’ll send your a box of kleenex

    • tc_sting

      Trying to justify why the raiders are bad when clearly the chiefs are worse adds little value to any meaningful football discussion. I like the raiders chances of improving for next year more than I like the chiefs.

      KC went out and got what they thought was a playoff caliber team and paid dearly for it in the coming years via trades and cash flow. We at KC are stuck with what we see for at least 2 seasons more and that is very discouraging. I wish KC would get better next year, but it is unlikely.

      Raiders are just about out of their salary cap failures with JaMarcus and underperforming RBs. Raiders can go replace bad players with new and hope for a better year in 2013 because of anticipated room to grow under the salary cap. Chiefs can’t.

      How about writing a story about fact versus one based solely on your misplaced emotion?

      • Stacy D. Smith

        How about recognizing “tongue in cheek” when you read it?
        The site needs some levity from time-to-time…lighten up.

        You seem to be using a rather curious definition for the word “fact.” There was no shortage of fact in this piece. You might think I’m slanting the facts to make a point. Well…yeah! That’s the point of the article.

        I think I’ll respectfully disagree about where both teams stand going into 2013. I think the Chiefs are still in pretty good shape. This team is not without its concerns, but with a real NFL QB, things change drastically.

    • Damien DameMuzik Baker

      are you mad bro? hahahaha…….our defense is horrible and we shut u out using 4th string cb’s…so stop your crying about your hurt Wr …chiefs suck deal with it….the end

      • Stacy D. Smith

        I am mad. Mad that you think you have 4th string cornerbacks. Huff started at Left Corner in the first matchup. That team has faced challenges at the position, but let’s not overstate the problem. You don’t carry 4 separate strings of corners. You might wanna re-think that one.

        You’re right though. 2-12 sucks. So does 4-10. #theend

    • Mike Tracy

      I would expect this from a charges fan but come on KC have some respect for yourself. I know that’s hard to do with a team as bad as yours. I may have never seen my team win it all but I’ve seen them make It all the way. They got owned but at least they had the chance to be there, when’s the last time KC made it to the big dance?

      Pointing out how bad Oakland has been the last 10 years doesn’t make your team look any better. They have walked into Arrowhead and owned that building for 5or6 years now. No matter how bad we have been. You know your team is in real bad shape if they are going to reach that far for Smith. I’m sure the combo of smith and some Oakland cast offs will help you pull it together. Much like Boss and Routt did for you guys this year.

      The rivalry will always be there no matter how much Oak and KC suck. Sweeping a divion opponent will always feel good as well. So stop displacing your anger by crapping on a franchise that has accomplished more then KC ever will, point the anger towards your franchise. At the owner, gm, coach, and players because they all suck. They suck worse then my team and that’s just pitiful.

      • Stacy D. Smith

        *Scratches head*

        You do realize this is a Chiefs-related website, no?
        Were you expecting me to applaud the Oakland Raiders?

        Even in giving them a good-natured ribbing, I called the 2012 Chiefs both the worst team in the NFL and the worst in the history of this franchise. I’m not trying to save face here, I’m holding a mirror up to the Raiders and showing you why you’re in no position to point and laugh. You can deal with the very real issue of ten consecutive seasons without a winning record…or you can celebrate beating the worst team in the league with field goals. Your choice.

    • Danny W

      Watching the “It’s a football life” on Marcus Allen on the NFL network kind of rekindled my passionate loath of the Raiders organization. I sure am ready for the rivalry to mean something again thats for sure. I remember when the AFC West was the toughest division in football. Now it’s the laughing stock. The Raiders have contributed more than their fair share of the blame for that.