Someone’s Gotta Win Tonite, Right?

First of all, a heartfelt shout-out to all of our friends on the East Coast. We’re sending our thoughts and prayers. Now to this week’s post.

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For literally centuries, philosophers and scientists have debated the outcome of an immovable object meeting an irresistible force. Tonight, we will see this classic paradox played out in our own unique, AFC-West-way when the Chiefs play the Chargers.

The Chargers’ offense stinks. They haven’t scored a touchdown in six quarters. Our friends at Bolt Beat are just as despondent as we are. Here are two lines from some of this week’s posts there – sound familiar?

“Ok, it has been two days since the worst Chargers game I have ever seen.”

“I am really at a loss for the words that could possibly convey how the Chargers played yesterday against the Browns. Awful, terrible, lethargic…”

Not to be outdone, the Chiefs’ offense is historically bad. We’ve scored one touchdown this entire month. We are approaching a notorious and dismal record of incompetence: we are on pace to smash the forty-seven year old record for turnover differential. The NFL record is -30; we are at -18, with just 44% of our games played thus far. The second worst team this year is the Cowboys – and we are seven turnovers ahead of them. The Texans and Steelers have less than seven turnovers each in total this year. And lest we forget our “defense” (technically, “defense” means “the act of defending against attack, danger, or injury,” so I use the term loosely here), recall that we are ranked 29th in points per game allowed and have more holes than Scott Pioli’s draft day record.

So here we have it: the vomit that is the Chargers’ offense taking on the “big play” defense of the Chiefs (“big play” of course, referring to the plays we give up, not create). All I can say is, misery loves company.

The classic response to the immovable object/irresistible force question is that there will be a monumental unleashing of energy. That obviously won’t happen here tonight. We may see the exact opposite of that – an incredible, sucking up of energy – a black hole of utter failure. The only logical outcome is a scoreless four quarters, and then both teams fumbling and bumbling through 15 painful minutes, ending in a completely unsatisfying zero-zero tie. There may be ten, fifteen turnovers. There may not be a single completed pass. The refs may change the rules and award points based on first downs.

But – and here comes the surprising plot twist – someone’s gotta win this game (well, except for that tie scenario), so why can’t that be us this week?

I think Daboll was onto something in that Ravens game. Run. Run. And run again. Maybe if we simplify everything, players can just focus on execution. The same applies to the defense. Create man-on-man, one-on-one battles. No wide receiver picks or trick plays. Just line up and create the situations that force one of ours against one of theirs. This Chiefs team is the most undisciplined I can recollect in my 30+ years being a fan. But I also believe that our players have pride and won’t quit. So let’s let the players pin their ears back and just play, and get the coaches out of the way. It’s not like they’ve done a whole heck of a lot to help us win games thus far.

Simplify. Execute. Get the coaches out of the way. Addicts, what say you about tonight?!

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Tags: Kansas City Chiefs

  • Aaron

    First of all, I’m actually wearing Chiefs red today.. Well.. The Arrowhead is on the shirt, but the shirt is yellow, that way I may be able to get away with it, and not get laughed off the face of the earth, if anyone is looking at my back. I’m a long time Chiefs fan (as “long time” as a 25 year old can be) and it’s said that I’ve become lethargic to how they will play this season. I’m merely watching this game to see the trainwreck that could very well possibly be tonight.. I have zero faith in the coaching staff, players, or head office. If we could get a combo of 52 more Jamaal Charles’ Dustin Colquitts, and Ryan Succops (sprinkle in some Justin Houston), I would feel better about this game. As always I will cheer for my team till the very end, but I won’t be disappointed anymore this season when they lose.. The sad thing is I’m so competitive and hate losing. So for me to no longer be upset should our KC Chiefs lose again, is depressing..

    But still… GO CHIEFS!…

    • Miles Yi

      My coping mechanism is EXACTLY the same – lower my expectations to practically zero, so hopefully, we can be pleasantly surprised! Let’s see who steps up for us tonite.

      • tm1946

        To bad you missed the previous games. For a variety of reasons, this team has been miss shaped. But for fans to have 0 expectations is to lose before you start, is not just sad but only goes to support the apparent thinking of Pioli and crew.

  • chiefridgy

  • PunjabiPete

    Same… I am numb. I don’t feel like arguing with those calling for random and multiple firings, because you can only get stabbed in the back so many times before you either bleed out like a moron or turn and punch someone in the face, and I’m clenching my fists right now.

    I would tell EVERYONE on the team, coaching staff, Scott Pioli: You are a waste of my money, of the fans money. Get your sorry ass out there and compete you lackluster sack of pig shit. If you turn in another game like you did the last 7 weeks (Yes, even the victory), don’t bother coming home, I’m sure you can find a place in San Diego that’s nice and they will accept another doucher as their own. Now let’s go out there and have fun!

  • ArrowFan

    The coaches are not the one’s fumbling snaps or punts. If you take away just the two plays we most likely win last week. I agree that the coaches are just as cop-able but the butter fingers needs to stop.

    • tm1946

      You can say that with a straight face? Does Daboll’s efforts seem adequate to you? Wen the offensive does not show up for 7 weeks, coaching may have a marginal impact.

      • chiefridgy

        What offense of coordinator in their right mind would only hand the ball off to Jamaal Charles five times

      • ArrowFan

        I didn’t say the coaches get a free pass. But they are not the ones giving the ball to the other team.

  • ArrowFan

    What ever happened with the sticky substance the Dolts where caught using?

    • tm1946

      Maybe Bowe can borrow a cup or two.

  • Priest4Prez

    We’re going to win; I don’t care. I’ll be blind with hope and desperation. Go Chiefs!!!

    • Chief Hokie

      So you’re sayin there’s a chance!

      • Priest4Prez

        Winning?! What was all that. ” One and Six talk?”

  • RIP Chief

    The Beatles song “Help” should be the sound track of this season!

  • Doc

    I dunno… this team looks like a team that plays the way they practice. One arm tackles, a shoulder half-heartedly thrown, run just half the pattern. Either the players are severely over rated (I don’t believe that) or they have been coached in to mind numbing mediocrity. The players imitate their coaches and when they show no passion on the sidelines, the players exhibit the same thing on the field. Who has the cojones’ to bring the fire and passion back to this team? Oh wait, that would not fit in with Pioli’s ‘right 53′ squad he wants. Even if we end up with the first draft pick (I hope not), I am sure Pioli will screw that up as well.

    • Miles Yi

      That’s a great question, Aaron – which Chief will step up and fire up this team? Imagine what Ray Lewis or Mike Singletary (when he was a player, not a coach) would be saying to this team right now! Has anyone heard of any of the Chiefs calling for a players-only meeting? We need that kind of stuff now!

      • TAZMOSIS

        The Chiefs have not one person on the team or the coaching staff that can light a fire on this group. In his heyday, Ray Lewis was probably worth two wins or more a year, just for what he brought to them from his smash mouth style of play. The guys that didn’t perform did not want to answer to Ray.

        Don’t look for anyone even resembling Lewis on the Chief’s sideline. Not unless we can get D.T. #58, to reappear for a heavenly peptalk.

      • Chief Hokie

        I’ll tell you who needs to fire up this team – Clark Hunt. Fire away Clark, fire away.


      The only thing as Chief’s fans we have to look forward to IS the #1 pick. Let’s say that the stars align and the coaches start to coach and the players start to play and the Chiefs win, say, 5 games. How in the hell in the long run does that help us? Do you think that the Colts, ‘Skins or Dolphins are talking about last season? Or what the ‘Skins had to give up to get RGIII? Hell no!! What they are talking about is how well their teams look now and how good the futures look to their fans. The best thing that could happen to the Chiefs is to get the first pick. And they don’t have to find a cute little slogan, like last year. They don’t have to “Suck for Luck”. They suck. Period. They don’t have to throw interceptions or fumble on purpose, or blow coverage or miss tackles through bad reads. They do it instinctively. Daboll doesn’t have to choose to leave his best player on the bench. He would much rather run Cassel more often and see how he does. Oh, and don’t bother asking any logical questions, such as “Hey, coach Crennel. Why was Charles on the field for only 5 rushes and two passes?”. Uhhhh…..Are you sure? Really? Gee, guys. I dunno. But I do know that if the other team scores, that makes it bad.” (or some other such nonsense). From top to bottom, this Chiefs team is the worst I have seen in nearly fifty years. And, don’t call me a wagon jumper. I have spent more money backing this team than I even care to admit. And what do me and thousands more like us get? Easy. Close your eyesz and what do you see? Nothing. That’s right. Since 1994. Zip, zilch, nada.

      So, the only thing as Chief’s fans that we have to look forward to have to IS THE NUMBER 1 PICK! Without “The Guy” at QB, it’s just more frustration and apathy. And apathy is the worst thing than can happen to what was once the greatest collection of fans in the NFL.