Someone’s Gotta Win Tonite, Right?

First of all, a heartfelt shout-out to all of our friends on the East Coast. We’re sending our thoughts and prayers. Now to this week’s post.

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For literally centuries, philosophers and scientists have debated the outcome of an immovable object meeting an irresistible force. Tonight, we will see this classic paradox played out in our own unique, AFC-West-way when the Chiefs play the Chargers.

The Chargers’ offense stinks. They haven’t scored a touchdown in six quarters. Our friends at Bolt Beat are just as despondent as we are. Here are two lines from some of this week’s posts there – sound familiar?

"“Ok, it has been two days since the worst Chargers game I have ever seen.”“I am really at a loss for the words that could possibly convey how the Chargers played yesterday against the Browns. Awful, terrible, lethargic…”"

Not to be outdone, the Chiefs’ offense is historically bad. We’ve scored one touchdown this entire month. We are approaching a notorious and dismal record of incompetence: we are on pace to smash the forty-seven year old record for turnover differential. The NFL record is -30; we are at -18, with just 44% of our games played thus far. The second worst team this year is the Cowboys – and we are seven turnovers ahead of them. The Texans and Steelers have less than seven turnovers each in total this year. And lest we forget our “defense” (technically, “defense” means “the act of defending against attack, danger, or injury,” so I use the term loosely here), recall that we are ranked 29^th in points per game allowed and have more holes than Scott Pioli’s draft day record.

So here we have it: the vomit that is the Chargers’ offense taking on the “big play” defense of the Chiefs (“big play” of course, referring to the plays we give up, not create). All I can say is, misery loves company.

The classic response to the immovable object/irresistible force question is that there will be a monumental unleashing of energy. That obviously won’t happen here tonight. We may see the exact opposite of that – an incredible, sucking up of energy – a black hole of utter failure. The only logical outcome is a scoreless four quarters, and then both teams fumbling and bumbling through 15 painful minutes, ending in a completely unsatisfying zero-zero tie. There may be ten, fifteen turnovers. There may not be a single completed pass. The refs may change the rules and award points based on first downs.

But – and here comes the surprising plot twist – someone’s gotta win this game (well, except for that tie scenario), so why can’t that be us this week?

I think Daboll was onto something in that Ravens game. Run. Run. And run again. Maybe if we simplify everything, players can just focus on execution. The same applies to the defense. Create man-on-man, one-on-one battles. No wide receiver picks or trick plays. Just line up and create the situations that force one of ours against one of theirs. This Chiefs team is the most undisciplined I can recollect in my 30+ years being a fan. But I also believe that our players have pride and won’t quit. So let’s let the players pin their ears back and just play, and get the coaches out of the way. It’s not like they’ve done a whole heck of a lot to help us win games thus far.

Simplify. Execute. Get the coaches out of the way. Addicts, what say you about tonight?!