Broncos Fans Getting Shat On By Pigeons

Ron Chenoy-US PRESSWIRE

They may have Peyton Manning but they are covered in bird droppings.

The fans at Sports Authority Field or Mile High or whatever the hell they call that place now are not having a very pleasant game-day experience.

According to a recent article by Todd Walker of KUSA TV in Denver, Broncos fans have been getting crapped on for years.

“I found out a pigeon had pooped on the back of my shirt,” Broncos fan Allison Harden told Walker. “These are $250 seats. (We’re) sitting there trapped in this kind of a situation. Any moment a pigeon (will) poop on you.”

Andy Gorchov, General Manager of Stadium Management Company, wanted fans to know that they were doing everything they can to rectify the problem, releasing the below statement:

“We strive to ensure that all fans have a positive experience during Broncos games, and their safety and comfort is our No. 1 priority. Unfortunately, outdoor stadiums do sometimes have issues with birds.”

“When these circumstances occur, our stadium staff is instructed to respond immediately and resolve the situation in the most timely and appropriate manner possible. We encourage all guests to contact us if they have an unpleasant experience at our stadium to allow us to provide the absolute highest level of service to them.”

Apparently responding to the situation in the most appropriate manner possible involves plastic owls.

“There’s actually a plastic owl,” Allison’s husband Jeff said. “I’m sure they set that up there at one point to deter the pigeons. It’s obviously not working. It’s a health issue. There’s people with drinks. There’s open food containers.”

I think I can speak for all Chiefs fans when I say, this is hilarious.