If Chiefs Players Were Characters From The Wire

Which Kansas City Chiefs players best match up with characters from HBO’s hit show The Wire?

First, let me say that if you haven’t yet taken in all five glorious season of The Wire, shame on you! I also apologize because this post might not make much sense to you. If that is the case, it should further encourage you to go out and rent the first season of the show and spend your weekend watching it. It really is, in my humble opinion, the best television show in the history of television shows.

Fair warning, there is a bit of language in this post.

All right, on with it.

1. Romeo Crennel is Lester Freeman

Ah Lester. He’s the elder-statesman on the police side of things. He’s relatively quiet, fatherly and wise. But don’t underestimate this cat. He’s a badass and if you cross the line, you’re gonna get got.

Romeo is cut from the same cloth. He may look like a big softy with his glasses perched down at the end of his nose while he looks over his play-sheet on the sidelines. Make no mistake though, that play-sheet is filled with plans to send bloodthirsty linebackers after your QB.

Don’t underestimate this man.

2. Dwayne Bowe is Jimmy McNulty

Jimmy McNulty is an alcoholic and a womanizer. Dwayne Bowe is neither of those things (so far as I know) but like Jimmy, he’s a perpetual fuck-up. Jimmy often does or says the wrong thing and then, utterly confused as to why everyone is angry with him, loveably responds with “What the fuck did I do?”

Both Bowe and Jimmy have played the role of loveable knucklehead but both have their hearts in the right place. Also, when not messing things up, they are both quite good at their job and their colleagues need them more than they’d like to admit.

Maybe I’ll start calling Bowe “McNulty” this season.

3. Tamba Hali is Omar Little

This one is pretty simple. Omar is the ultimate bad ass and he is someone literally nobody in the hood wants to cross paths with, let alone get on the wrong side of.

Omar, like Hali, often sneaks up on his victims.

4. Branden Albert and Eric Winston are Chris and Snoop

Chris and Snoop are the brutal body guards/muscle for drug kingpin Marlo Stanfield. They do the (very) dirty work but they are very good at what they do and they keep their boss clean.

Albert and Winston could form a similarly terrifying due this season as they protect…

5. Matt Cassel is Avon Barksdale

Cassel, like Avon, is the boss. Avon, like Cassel, often makes us wonder how he got to be a kingpin in the first place. He isn’t particularly good at being a kingpin but he isn’t terrible either. After all, if he was terrible, he never would have been made a kingpin to begin with.

But that doesn’t mean he’ll stay on top for very long. Especially if he has an eager #2 ready to take his job…