Breaking News: Clark Hunt Is Awful

Addicts, I confess: I do not like Chiefs owner Clark Hunt.  I never really have, even before the lockout.  I suppose I’m predisposed to being harder on an owner who inherited his team, as opposed to one who actually did something to earn it.  And maybe that isn’t fair.  Being handed a billion-dollar lifestyle on a silver platter doesn’t make you a bad person.  I wouldn’t begrudge someone a winning lottery ticket.  And in many ways, thats what being born to a billionaire is.  Clark Hunt is a very, very lucky man, but that in itself is not a valid reason to dislike someone.

Still, Clark has provided us with no shortage of valid reasons to dislike him.  He’s uninspiring, unimpressive, uncharismatic, and he talks like an uptight robot.  I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that there are probably not a lot of people who like this man.

The entire Chiefs blogosphere has been discussing him for months, and I’ve not read one personal story that paints him in a positive light.  Not one.  That’s weird, right?  Normally when an owner/politician/higher-up of any kind is attacked, some average folk will step forward with tales of kindness, humility or generosity.  Something to make you think twice.  Attack Clark Hunt, and the most you’ll get is some variation of “he’s the owner, he can do what he wants.”  On the personal front, crickets*.  Telling.

*Lets try a little experiment here.  If you’ve ever had any kind of positive interaction with Clark Hunt (off-camera), kind word, big tip, handshake, anything, please let me know in the comments section.

more bile after the jump:

I have to say, the fact that the national media is starting to single him out feels like vindication to me.  I sniffed this fool out years ago when he threatened to move the team and then gave that hilarious “we need to draft and develop a franchise quarterback” interview*.  I’m surprised more people weren’t rolling their eyes initially.  I mean, its not like he had a good start.  I would think slashing payroll and squeezing tax dollars would’ve been unpopular moves, but KC loves our Chiefs.  And the team was in the midst of a MASSIVE PR effort meant to convince fans that spending less was somehow smarter and more pure.  That PR effort is ongoing and will likely never stop.

*It was this interview that brought us Brodie Croyle as “QBOTF”.  Hunt, knowing nothing about football, said what any 10-year-old would say, “We need the next Payton Manning or Tom Brady!”  Herm, shameless opportunist that he is, presents Croyle as evidence that he and Clark are on the same page.  “Yep, I think so too boss.  See, thats what I’ve been up to with, uh……(grabs Croyle) this guy!”   The result?  Four years of people pretending Croyle has limitless potential and a golden arm.  It really was astonishing to watch.  Like a pebble dropped in a lake.

Click here, here, or here if you’re not up to date on the latest evidence that our owner is deserving of scorn.  Unique scorn, at that.  He’s being singled out as the greediest, slimiest NFL owner, which is really saying something.  Thats like being the worst Michael Bay movie or the stinkiest fart.  When Bob Gretz, the ultimate company man, thinks Clunt has gone too far, its time for even the staunchest supporters of ownership to take notice.  Check out Carl’s boy layin’ it down!

I don’t understand Clark Hunt’s decision to dock the pay of the little people around his franchise because of the lockout. In the last two years, Hunt has sliced more than three dozen employees, almost all among the longest tenured people in the building.

Plus, we know that over the last two seasons the Chiefs have been among the handful of teams with the lowest payrolls in the league…..the vault has been snapped shut for the last three years. No doubt, some of that was done in anticipation of the lockout.

Take the money saved by firing all those long-term Chiefs employees, along with the money not spent on free agents, plus the money not spent to pay workout bonuses and Hunt should have a nice little lockout nest egg to see him through a lockout created by the owners.

Instead, he’s cutting the salaries of secretaries and other low-pay employees, and taking even larger slices from scouts and coaches who make more money and for the most part give up their lives in doing their jobs for the franchise. That’s some loyalty being shown everyone in the building.

Money quotes all over the place in there.  From Bob F#*@ing Gretz!  It’s not often he and I are on the same page about something.  One man’s despicable greed has brought us together.

The Clark Hunt 10-Step Plan to a Super Bowl Championship Financial Success

Step 1: Inherit professional football team from father

Step 2: Threaten to move team if city won’t pay for stadium upgrades

Step 3: Talk about how much you respect the Rooney family

Step 4: Slash payroll

Step 5: Lie about motivations for slashing payroll

Step 6: Use tax dollars to upgrade club level, suites and owner’s box

Step 7: Engage in secret, illegal negotiations in preparation for lockout

Step 8: Lie about team finances and refuse to open books

Step 9: Proudly announce that you’re leading the league in season ticket sales during a lockout; continue to charge for season tickets

Step 10: Cut salaries of all team employees when the team is not actually losing any money

Result: Slightly increased profit margins!

If you’re really still supporting this guy, I give up.

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