John Elway Wants Punk Band To Change It's Name

Former Broncos QB John Elway

According to Yahoo Sports, John Elway is a vain douche bag.

Oops, I mean, according to Yahoo Sports, Hall of Fame QB and Denver Broncos Donkeys vice president, had his lawyers contact a Fort Collins, Colorado punk band about changing their band name.

Why is Elway concerned about the name of a punk band?

Because they are calling themselves “Elway.”

First of all, why would any punk band, grocery store chain or male stripper want to go by a crappy name like “Elway?” It sounds like a Spanish candy bar.

Anyway, apparently Elway (the douche, not the band) actually cared enough about this to have his lawyers call these guys.

In other news, here is a list of companies that I will be suing for using the name “Allen” without my permission:

Allen Refractories Company

Allen and Young Business Brokers

Allen Business Investments

Allen Camper Manufacturing Company

I will also be suing the City of Allen. Not only am I insulted that they would name their city after me without asking my permission, but I am offended by the phrase “do business IN Allen” on their website. I don’t want anyone “doing business” “IN” me. I’m also disturbed that this city is located in Texas.

Lastly, I will be suing former Chiefs RB Marcus Allen as well as professional bowler, Patrick Allen.

Who the hell does this guy think he is? He'll be hearing from my lawyers.




Next Chiefs Game Full schedule »
Sunday, Oct 2626 Oct12:00St. Louis RamsBuy Tickets

comments powered by Disqus