According to Yahoo Sports, John Elway is a vain douche bag.
Oops, I mean, according to Yahoo Sports, Hall of Fame QB and Denver
Broncos Donkeys vice president, had his lawyers contact a Fort Collins, Colorado punk band about changing their band name.
Why is Elway concerned about the name of a punk band?
Because they are calling themselves “Elway.”
First of all, why would any punk band, grocery store chain or male stripper want to go by a crappy name like “Elway?” It sounds like a Spanish candy bar.
Anyway, apparently Elway (the douche, not the band) actually cared enough about this to have his lawyers call these guys.
In other news, here is a list of companies that I will be suing for using the name “Allen” without my permission:
I will also be suing the City of Allen. Not only am I insulted that they would name their city after me without asking my permission, but I am offended by the phrase “do business IN Allen” on their website. I don’t want anyone “doing business” “IN” me. I’m also disturbed that this city is located in Texas.
Lastly, I will be suing former Chiefs RB Marcus Allen as well as professional bowler, Patrick Allen.