True Lies: A.A.’s Final Mock Draft
We are a mere 24 hours away from the NFL Draft, yet nobody has any clue what the hell is going on.
Most fans have jumped off one Long (Jake Long) bandwagon and on to another (Chris Long). The experts are also thinking defensive end. Don Banks and Dr. Z say Vernon Gholsten. Todd McShay thinks we can still nab the second best Long. Mel Kiper thinks both will be gone and we’ll reach on–GULP!–Derrick Harvey at No. 5. Two DEs sit atop Adam Teicher’s Big Board. There are some experts and fans who think the Chiefs should go offensive line no matter what (like Nick Athan, via trade back), but they are outnumbered.
Personally, what I would do would be totally different. I would find a way to draft Matt Ryan first, then find a way to draft Chris Williams second, even if both moves required trading up. Then I’d take either Quentin Groves or Lawrence Jackson at No. 35, and in that order. If The Chiefs managed to pull that coup off they’d be looking at potentially the best draft in club history after only three picks.
But that isn’t what they are going to do. Well, at least according to the pundits.
It actually looks like the Chiefs will do the reverse with its first three picks–DE first, OT second and QB third, if at all–which still makes some sense, other than potentially not taking a QB. But really, who knows what the Chiefs will actually do. Actually, I do.
I was watching True Lies the other night and got a great idea. Kidnap King Carl and Herm Edwards the day before the draft and load them up with sodium pentothal. That’s exactly what I’ve done! Here they are…
ADAM, now guaranteed to watch the draft from the Johnson County jail, has CARL PETERSON and HERM EDWARDS tied up in a dark, damp basement, bound and gagged. Adam ungags them and begins the interrogation.Adam: Say hello, fellas.
Herm: Uh, hello, Chiefs fans. Just know that we’re OK, we’re OK.
King Carl: Can you at least untie us? Don’t you know who I am? I knew I shouldn’t have raised ticket prices again…I just couldn’t resist.
Adam: This is fun. You see, I’ve absolutely loaded both of you up with our little friend sodium pentothal–the truth serum they use in the movies. Yeah, it actually works, and not just in Ah-nold flicks either. Everybody lies in April? Not so fast, Herm. Not only will you tell the truth, but so will Carl…for the first time in his life.
King Carl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!(King Carl throws a shit fit and nearly tips his chair over struggling to get loose.)
Adam: Let’s get that started right away. Carl, are you rebuilding because you’re cheap and renovating the stadium and young players are less expensive?
King Carl: Uhhhhhh…yes.
Adam: Is this rebuilding plan just another way for you to grind five more years out of your job?
King Carl: Uhhhhhh…yes. Oh, the agony.
Adam: Carl, who’s at the top of your board following the Jared Allen trade.
King Carl: Chris Long. Vernon Gholsten has more upside, but we need a Jared clone to help sell tickets. Long is perfect. He’s White, he’s kind of a good ol’ boy, he’s Howie Long’s son. He’s perfect for the Kansas City market. His jerseys will sell like hotcakes. My God, I can’t believe I’m telling you this.
Adam: Holy shit, this stuff does really work. Now, Herm was Mel Kiper right when he said we are leaning towards Derrick Harvey at No. 5 if Gholsten and Long are gone.
Herm: That’s right.
Adam: Scary. Couldn’t you draft a player very similar 12 or 30 picks later?
Herm: Um, yeah, OK, you know, you see, we win to play the game, we all know that, but Carl and Clark Hunt play to win the game cheap.
Adam: I didn’t need to use truth serum to discover that. Carl, so, will the Cheaps, um, I meant Chiefs pass on picking either Matt Ryan or Darren McFadden and reach on a lesser player just to save money and then rationalize it by saying we drafted due to needs?
King Carl: Damn, I can’t stand this. That is exactly our plan. Exactly. Neither player is even on our board any more. It’s just smokescreens, it’s all smokescreens. We’re trying to make other teams think we actually would spend that kind of money on a quarterback. 20 years of not doing it, and I think we’ve still duped ‘um. Losers.
Adam: Give you a little S.P. and you won’t shut up, will you? Herm, so let me get this straight, if both DEs and Glenn Dorsey are gone, the plan is either to trade down or reach to, um, save money? Even if a gift like McFadden or Ryan is sitting there?
Herm: Yeah, that’s exactly right. You know, if it’s not Harvey, it will be the Branden Albert kid. Or maybe even Chris Williams, Jeff Otah or Ryan Clady if they will sign cheaper. It’s all about the Benjamins, OK.
Adam: So, Carl. Do you have any intention of drafting a quarterback early? After all, Brodie Croyle isn’t going to cut it. We both know that.
King Carl: I know, I know. Tell me about it. That little shit couldn’t even beat out Damon Huard. But he’s cheap, and we’ve convinced Chiefs fans that we actually believe in him. That will sell a few more tickets, so I don’t want to screw that up. Chiefs fans can sure BBQ, but they aren’t the brightest lot.
Adam: Bright enough to kidnap you and get you to spill your guts. By the way, this is going straight on my website, Arrowhead Addict, I’m sure you’ve never heard of it.
King Carl: Is that one of those blag, er, vlog, er, um, blog things. What are those, like fan media? Isn’t the regular media bad enough? Argh, fans. At least you all still buy tickets no matter what.
Adam: Actually, Carl, if you read the site…
There you have it. After my ruthless interrogation, here is what I’m thinking the Chiefs big board looks like, including only players I think they will pick.
- Glenn Dorsey
- Chris Long
- Vernon Gholsten
- Branden Albert
- Derrick Harvey
- Ryan Clady
- Sedrick Ellis
- Chris Williams
- Jeff Otah
The rest is a complete mystery. Here’s my final mock draft based on what I think will happen given that information:
ROUND ONE:
1. Miami - OT Jake Long, Michigan
2. St. Louis - DT Glenn Dorsey, LSU
3. Atlanta - QB Matt Ryan, Boston College
4. Oakland - DE Chris Long, Virginia
5. Kansas City - DE Vernon Gholsten, Ohio St.
6. New York Jets - HB Darren McFadden, Arkansas
7. New England (from San Francisco) - DT Sedrick Ellis, USC
8. Baltimore - CB Leodis McKelvin, Troy
9. Cincinnati - LB Keith Rivers, USC
10. New Orleans - CB Mike Jenkins, South Florida
11. Buffalo - WR Devin Thomas, Michigan St.
12. Denver - OG/OT Branden Albert, Virginia
13. Carolina - OT Ryan Clady, Boise St
14. Chicago - RB Rashard Mendenhall, Illinois
15. Detroit - DE Derrick Harvey, Florida
16. Arizona - CB Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Tenn. St.
17. Kansas City (from Minnesota) - OT Chris Williams, Vanderbilt
18. Houston - RB Jonathan Stewart, Oregon
19. Philadelphia - WR DeSean Jackson, California
20. Tampa Bay - WR Limas Sweed, Texas
21. Washington - DE Phillip Merling, Clemson
22. Dallas (from Cleveland) - CB Aqib Talib, Kansas
23. Pittsburgh - OT Jeff Otah, Pittsburgh
24. Tennessee - WR James Hardy, Indiana
25. Seattle - DT Kentwan Balmer, UNC
26. Jacksonville - DE Quentin Groves, Auburn
27. San Diego - CB Antoine Cason, Arizona
28. Dallas - RB Felix Jones, Arkansas
29. San Francisco (from Indianapolis) - LB Jerod Mayo, Tennessee
30. Green Bay - OT Gosder Cherilus, Boston College * New England (pick forfeited)
31. New York Giants - FS Kenny Phillips, Miami…
35. Kansas City Chiefs, QB Joe Flacco, Delaware
For me, this would be a dream come true, but only if we followed the first round up by picking Joe Flacco–who I now call 1B, as in my back-up plan to 1A, or Matt Ryan–in round two. Now, of course trades could blow this sucker up, but I think it is pretty damn realistic.
Thoughts?
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i love it..id be happy if it worked out like that and if we picked up Flacco with our 2nd rounder..id have to say that would actually be great
April 25th, 2008 at 3:31 pmI would be happy with Gholsten, Williams, and Flacco with the first 3 pics. However, I don’t see it happening that way. My guess is that St. Louis takes the other Long, Atlanta takes Dorsey and the Raiders take Gholsten. If that happens, I hope the Chiefs will be able to trade down. Sorry Adam, but I don’t want the Chiefs to take Ryan. I would rather have Flacco.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:49 pmAdam, I know you are a Matt Ryan guy, but Frankly I think Flacco will eventually be the better quarterback. Have you seen his passes? Man what a tight spiral.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:54 pmg.L., I just don’t want to reach at No. 5, and I really like Ryan. That being said, I love Flacco, and he’s option 1B. I’m just scared he won’t be there.
Here’s another scenario:
5. Branden Albert
17. Joe Flacco
35. Quentin Groves
I just got off the phone with my dad, a draftnik and heart doctor, and he said that there are no worries with Groves and WTW syndrome. He thinks he’s a top ten pick who fell a round because of a minor, non-life-threatening issue.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:02 pmIf you like Flacco as much as Ryan, or nearly as much, taking him at 17 for that money isn’t a reach. Especially if the Chiefs believe in Albert. I just heard Albert could go to Atlanta, though, mostly because he’s safe and cheap. Will Arthur Blank spend on Ryan.
Mort just said Rams are leaning Long.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:04 pmESPN’s Wendy Nix in K.C. just said no on Matt Ryan, and that the Chiefs will look down if a marquee player isn’t around, presumably Dorsey, Long and Gholsten, but that didn’t rule out Run DMC.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:08 pmI think you captured Carl utterly. Brava!
I like Ellis over Gholston and Brohm over Flacco. But other than that looks good.
If Aflack and Geico merged….would it be called Flacco?
April 25th, 2008 at 4:47 pmGhoulston = Mike Mamula!!! We Don’t Need a Work Out Warrior! If Herm sticks to his philosophy he will look at the tape and not the work out!
April 25th, 2008 at 4:54 pmNow more than ever, draft is vital to Chiefs’ future
By Bill Williamson
ESPN.com
(Archive)
Updated: April 23, 2008
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Jared Allen is the type of player around whom NFL franchises are built.
He is a defensive end, a position teams crave. He is 26. He led the league with 15½ sacks last season. He is a fiery leader who never takes a play off. Allen is a perfect building block for a team that is trying to rebuild.
The Chiefs are in a rebuilding mode, so the trade of Allen to Minnesota appears to be a step backward for a franchise in need of franchise-type players. Because of Allen’s desire for a new deal and the Chiefs’ desire not to give it to him, the two sides have parted ways.
Jared Allen
Defensive End
Kansas City Chiefs
Profile
2007 Season Stats Tot Solo Ast FF Sack Int
65 56 9 3 16 0
Losing Allen will hurt the Chiefs. But there is a way out for Kansas City. There is a way to survive the loss of a special player like Allen.
The Chiefs have to find three studs in this weekend’s draft. After getting three picks — a first-rounder and two third-rounders from Minnesota in exchange for Allen — the Chiefs have the ability to get these players. Kansas City now has an NFL-high 13 picks in the seven-round draft. Six of the picks are in the first 82 choices. The Chiefs will have made six choices in the time AFC West foes Oakland and San Diego have made only one pick each.
Kansas City has an opportunity to rebuild and soften the punch of losing Allen by parlaying its load of picks into three great players. These are the players the Chiefs should target — Chris Long, Ryan Clady and Joe Flacco.
It may require some on-the-clock maneuvering, but the Chiefs have the ammo. If the Chiefs can tuck themselves into bed Saturday night with this threesome secured, then the Allen trade would have been worth it.
Hashmarks
ESPN.com’s Bill Williamson and our team of bloggers have the Jared Allen blockbuster trade covered from all the angles. Hashmarks
With the fifth overall pick, the Chiefs need to find their replacement for Allen. The top choice here is Long, son of Hall of Famer Howie. Long is similar to Allen. His motor never stops and he’s a quarterback magnet. There is no guarantee Long will be there at No. 5, however. St. Louis at No. 2, or Oakland at No. 4 could nab him. If Long is gone, Ohio State defensive end Vernon Gholston should be on the board at No. 5 and he’ll do just fine for the Chiefs in their need to replace Allen, but Long is the preference.
There are rumblings around the league the Chiefs stockpiled picks in the Allen trade in an attempt to trade up to No. 2 to steal Boston College quarterback Matt Ryan from the Falcons, who have the No. 3 pick. Although Ryan is a fine player, the Chiefs need to get their stud defensive lineman early instead. They can get their quarterback later while also grabbing other top defensive and offensive linemen.
The Chiefs must work on fixing their O-line problems at No. 17. The word around the league is the Chiefs covet Clady, the gigantic left tackle from Boise State. Kansas City may have to move up four to six spots to secure Clady, who would be the first block in reconstructing what used to be a great offensive line.
Kansas City then needs to work its way back into the first round and take a quarterback. The team needs to create competition for Brodie Croyle. The third-round pick in 2006 has yet to show he can be a franchise quarterback. With a load of draft picks, this is the time to find Croyle’s competition.
Although Louisville’s Brian Brohm and Michigan’s Chad Henne are options, Kansas City should look at Delaware’s Flacco, who many teams think is a shade below Ryan as a can’t-miss prospect. Depending on what the Chiefs have to give up to get Clady, they could perhaps offer their second-round pick, No. 35, and one or two of their three third-rounders to trade into the back end of the first round to grab Flacco.
The rebuilding process in Kansas City will be off the ground and the trade of Allen will be validated if the Chiefs can pull off all of this.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:57 pmNot to say that Stl won’t draft Long, but Mort just says whatever pops into his head, he doesn’t know anything. The buzz around here is that Dorsey is #1 on the Rams board, Long is #2, but there is a debate within the organization with a management group wanting Long, and the Coaches leaning toward Dorsey. Long is considered the safe pick who will definitely be good, Dorsey is considered the guy with more upside. The largest faction is leaning Dorsey. Ideally they’d like to trade down for the right offer and they’d be happy with Gholston. The biggest thing they are struggling with is if they get Dorsey, what do they do with Carriker, he’s beefed up over 300 to play tackle, and many feel he’s too slow to play DE, so drafting Dorsey leaves them with great DT’s but not much on the outside.
April 25th, 2008 at 5:14 pmsteve young just said on espnews that there are NO franchise QBs other than ryan in this years draft OR next years draft either dont know if i believe that flacco SHOULD be a good one but you never know
April 25th, 2008 at 5:19 pmwho else here is hoping the chiefs don’t draft a QB…..period?
April 25th, 2008 at 6:25 pmwell we need a solid back up or if he can come in and beat out croyle but with our 2nd rounder we should get wr jordy nelson if he is there im crossing my fingers
April 25th, 2008 at 6:30 pmSimon: I want them to draft a QB only in rounds 4, 5, 6, or 7. Take a flier on Colt Brennan…..go ahead laugh all you want!!! We do need some competition for Croyle.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:55 pmWho else thought Tyler Thigpen looked good last year, I did!
April 25th, 2008 at 6:56 pmEven with Jake Long, we still probably need 2 good QB’s this year.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:59 pmI meant even if we had Jake Long.
April 25th, 2008 at 7:00 pmMark my words: Brandon Flowers (cb) will be a Chief this weekend! (This will be my only bold prediction of the draft, lol!)
April 25th, 2008 at 7:14 pmFlowers is on almost every single over rated list on the web. You know what that means…..He’s gonna be a STAR! And yeah I guess competition might be good for our QB sitch, and that we need a good back up, but we damn sure don’t a replacement. At least not yet anyway.
April 25th, 2008 at 7:22 pmKCF56,
Jordy will be a mid-to-late second rounder. We need to trade up into that range or cross our fingers and hope he drops. I heard the Skins really like him, so…
April 25th, 2008 at 7:48 pmALLRIGHT well ADAM ive found our perfect scenario your guy matty ice at 5 and then DRC 17 saw this on sportsfury.com then cherilus 35 tyrell johnson 3rd oneal cousins 3rd kendall langford 3rd(next jared allen small school good motor) looks good to me and you KNOW carl and herm want to get a small school guy, hoope he plays GREAT to show Jared was no fluke pick
April 25th, 2008 at 8:06 pmalso read about will shields and clady but HOPE we dont take durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.read that we want clady and harvey in the first im not sold on taking a qb but the last post sounds better ill give you your guy if i can have mine(we may have to throw in one of the 3rds to get to 11 and take DRC) thats my opinion
April 25th, 2008 at 8:13 pmI know everybody here is basically Mizzou, KState, and Kansas fans, but I really am feeling sketchy about all the Jordy Nelson talk…I don’t think he’ll go as high as you all wish. He is good though, you can’t deny that.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:06 pmWhatup, boys. A little late, I know… But straight to business… Now, as much as we need to replace Jared at DE, Im not all that sure that we SHOULD take Vernon Gholston. Honestly, if Chris Long and Dorsey is gone, I think we should take Ellis. He is the only guy in the draft that can step up next to the likes of Glenn Dorsey. And like I mentioned yesterday, Ellis or Dorsey can make our DEs (whoever they’ll end up being) a lot better.
Other than that I LOVE the Chris Williams pick. I dont know why, but man the guy has been REALLY making an impression on me. He’s nasty and a mauler. Check out Williams at the Senior Bowl workouts AND game. He annihilated D linemen. And I can totally see him being our next LT.
And it may simply be some pre-draft buzz, but man, insiders are more and more speculating that we have a chance at BOTH Dorsey and Long… Dorsey before Long, but dang… Either one of them would be amazing!
April 25th, 2008 at 9:08 pmShawn… I (not a Kansas fan) dont think that Jordy goes anywhere before mid-2nd. If anything, he goes early to mid 3rd.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:11 pmAdam, Flacco at 17??? Wow…. Youre pushin’ it bro.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:19 pmRoc,
It is a bit of a reach. Then again, if there isn’t a rush on tackles and we know we can get Baker or Cherilus at 35, and we already got our DE, then we make sure we get the second best QB at 17. I think some quarterbacks not named Ryan will sneak into the first round.
Now, what’s more likely is we trade back and take him somewhere in the mid-to-late 20s, but if you want the guy, you go get him. If a guy ends up being a good starting QB, then 17 isn’t a reach at all–it’s a steal. And it’s going to be cheaper than taking Ryan at No. 5, which you know the Chiefs are worried about. Not just the money, but the holdout as well.
We need Goodell to implement that NBA copycat rookie cap quick. This is getting ridiculous.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:02 pmAdam:
A good starting QB at #17 is not a steal. Tom Brady in round 6 is a steal. Joe Montana in round 3 is a steal. Bart Starr in round 17 is a steal. When you draft a QB in round 1, you expect a good starting QB. Anything less is a disappointment.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:20 pmI see what youre saying Adam, but the big question on both yours and my side is… “What if…” Youre saying what if he becomes a great QB, he’d be a steal at #17?? Im saying, what if we draft him at 17 and he busts?? .. I dont know. I think we have a good shot at Booty later in the draft. And I think he’d be pretty good competition against Bro…
Dude, Im praying that we can land Chris Williams at 17! I watched his 1st draft on Total Access and dang, I like the kid. Like I said, he’s nasty and totally reminds me of a young Roaf.
I like Sam Baker at 35. He’s very skilled and knows how to play the game very well.
Carl Nicks… Do you guys think we’d get him in the 3rd?
Chilo Rachal… Now, I KNOW you guys know that he’s my boy already, but I see a lot of potential in the dude. . . And no Im not blowing him up just because he’ll hook me up with Away games and what not, but because I think Chilo can possibly become a future starter with our Chiefs at OG. What a thought… the retarded class clown in my Algebra 2 class, learning from Brain Waters.
April 25th, 2008 at 11:15 pmMerlin,
Way to use probably the best three QB steals of all time. Finding another one of those would be easier than winning the lottery. If he ends up being as good as Big Ben is, who I believe went at 17, that’s somewhat of a steal. Most quarterbacks flop, so getting a good one anywhere outside the top 10 is a pretty good bargain, considering it is the most crucial position on the field.
April 25th, 2008 at 11:32 pmRoc,
I like Chilo, so we shall see. It might be smart to try and get Baker in the second and then Chilo, since they’ve played together.
Carl Nicks is probably a round-two guy.
And I love Chris Williams. With no shot at Ryan, I’m going to be all about four players tomorrow:
1. Chris Williams
2. Joe Flacco
3. Quentin Groves
4. Jordy Nelson
If the Chiefs draft two or more you know they read A.A., lol!
April 25th, 2008 at 11:35 pmAnd we’ve got to load up on corners and interior OL later in the draft.
April 25th, 2008 at 11:36 pmThe guys I’M pulling for this draft are:
- Chris Williams OT
April 25th, 2008 at 11:44 pm- Sam Baker OT
(I think BOTH these guys will be Opening Day starters)
- (needless to say) Chilo Rachal OG
- Chevis Jackson CB
-Owen Schmitt FB
- and John Carlson TE
CARL IS AN IDIOT
April 26th, 2008 at 9:40 amPackers will draft Brandon Flowers instead.
April 26th, 2008 at 9:41 amWell, KC had a great end result with Dorsey, Albert, Flowers, Charles, Cottam, Morgan, ect…
My sleeper pick is Brian Johnston he’s the second coming of Jared Allen, I’m not joking.
April 29th, 2008 at 8:29 pm