An open apology to Chiefs Kingdom

I know we're all past it. The Kansas City Chiefs' Thursday Night opening loss to the Detroit Lions was a deep burn, but somehow ended up being a short-lived one. There were certainly obstacles facing the Chiefs from a personnel perspective—particularly the absences of two of the Chiefs' three best players in Travis Kelce and Chris Jones—that provided some swift and much-needed perspective. Some (most) of us were able to find solace in the results of some of the Sunday and Monday night contests, with the Bengals and the league's top earner Joe Burrow getting whomped by some elves, and Josh Allen cementing the fact that he will have more completions to Jets players than Aaron Rodgers in 2023.

We also got the excellent news on Monday that friend of the Kingdom Chris Jones will be returning after signing a one-year incentive-laden deal worth up to $25 million in what can only be described as a master class in negotiating from the world-renowned Katz Brothers. Hats off to them for getting their only notable client pretty much the exact same thing they would have had without a holdout. It would be a real shame if Jones decided to leave them after this season with the remainder of their clientele having a whopping $985K in guaranteed money after 2023. A real shame. Alas, all good news for a Chiefs defense that played well against Detroit, but could be downright dirty with Jones back.

Sure, there has been plenty to take our minds off of the Chiefs' short-handed loss to the Lions on Thursday, but something has been eating at me since late Thursday night. I have to apologize to all of you, and everyone else in Chiefs Kingdom who elected to not click on this blog because they knew it would be an anxiety-inducing, neurotic journey and also probably over 1,500 words long. Last season, I wrote about my extremely superstitious approach to consuming Chiefs football. I have an illness when it comes to my meticulous preparation in things that ultimately don't matter—most of the time.

This is hard for me, but I have to make this admission public so that I can find closure. I was nowhere near prepared for this game. First of all, I elected to don a completely random, very changed-up wardrobe for the game. We watched the game at home, but for whatever reason I deemed it appropriate to watch the game on the upstairs sectional instead of the downstairs recliner couch. I put a Patrick Mahomes jersey on in the middle of the first quarter in borderline cavalier fashion. Fully cavalier to an individual as superstitious as I am. You don't add or subtract from the look, outside of a potential tossed hat, in the middle of a game—particularly in a first half that would be the only glimpse we got of decent football from the Chiefs.

There were several other factors amiss. The food wasn't ready on time. I failed to secure a good pre-game photo with my son: his first Chiefs game. I've already addressed the jinx complex he's already developed at 4 months old. I was a bad vibe machine on Thursday, and I have to think that had something to do with the fact that the Chiefs failed to accomplish several things. While I can't accept the blame for Kadarius Toney and Skyy Moore seemingly forgetting that they even have hands, or for Andy Reid and Matt Nagy showing us what not to do in short-yardage situations, I will take the blame for much of the bad karma that was filling the air and the airwaves last week.

The silver lining here? I know what I did wrong, and my past transgressions are easily correctable issues that will be addressed. The ship will be righted. The same can be said about the issues that plagued the Chiefs in Week 1. One of my friends put the wide receiver shortcomings best when I complained last week about both Toney and Moore struggling. In response to my neurotic rambling about the two, I was met with a simple, "Remember when they both scored touchdowns and the Chiefs won the Super Bowl?"

Well, when you put it that way.

Listen, Toney and Moore were terrible last week. We all know that, and they do too. Kadarius Toney deactivated his Twitter because some of you savages resembled the hyena stampede from Lion King in his mentions. But the law of averages would lead us to believe that they will turn it around, we all know that. Andy Reid and Matt Nagy left people missing Eric Bieniemy, a concept that would have collapsed many brains around Chiefs Kingdom in seasons prior, and continued the cry to bring back the QB sneak. While it may be worth it to try another Blake Bell under center 3rd and short end around just to eliminate all doubt that it's a terrible move, I don't think you'll see them continue to struggle from a playcalling perspective. We all also know that.

Yes, the tides will turn, just as they turned with Chris Jones and the Greasers deciding they no longer wanted to be outsiders in Chiefs Kingdom. Travis Kelce is progressing in his recovery from a bone bruise suffered last week as well, a sign that can do nothing but turn tides for the Chiefs offense heading into a Week 2 divisional playoff rematch with the Jacksonville Jaguars. While Trevor Lawrence and company looked alright in a win over the presumably terrible Indianapolis Colts last week, the Chiefs offense figures to be fired up with the prospect of Kelce returning coupled with the bitter taste left in their collective mouths.

And for all the talk about Patrick Mahomes being an assassin in Week 1 games in his career last week—something else I felt I jinxed—we have to hope he doesn't elect to turn a tide in Week 2 compared to previous iterations of Week 2 Mahomes. Mahomes is 4-1 in Week 2 games in his career with 19 touchdown passes in the season's second week, which is nearly 4 touchdown passes per game for those of you keeping track at home. If it weren't for the drops and lack of ability for the offense to see anything but two-high safety zone looks last week, we'd be talking about yet another Week 1 masterpiece from Mahomes, but the fact that we didn't get that outcome is almost certainly something that has the Chiefs signal caller salivating to reverse the team's luck against this week's predatory cat-themed opponent.

Getting all that off my chest feels good. Diligence will be necessary in preparation for both manically superstitious fans as well as the Chiefs themselves. With time to reflect and correct, there's no reason to believe both groups won't rebound nicely. With none of the traditional (and expected) AFC powers showing out in Week 1, the Chiefs seem to be the most likely candidates to bounce back in a big way with some of their stars returning, and if we can will their superstition-induced stars into aligning we could be in for a hell of a ride the rest of this year and into the playoffs.