Guess what: the Kansas City Chiefs are making a movie to warm the heart? No, we're not talking about an NFL Films review of the team's Super Bowl bid. No, we're also not referring to the Quarterback series on Netflix. This time, the Chiefs are working with Hallmark to create a forthcoming holiday movie entitled Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story.
If that sounds like something from the Onion, we agree. Then again, everything related to the Chiefs these days feels surreal. It feels like this entire offseason has been one weird event or headline after another. Why not sprinkle some Hallmark on top?
Well, when we thought about it, we realized there were actually some very good reasons why the Chiefs were perfect for such a production. Here are five reasons why the Chiefs are the ideal team to make a Hallmark movie.
The Chiefs are the league's most formulaic team
If there's a single dominant criticism of the category of Hallmark Movies, it's the formulaic nature of ecah of them. In fact, before you watch any of them, you can guess that either Lacey Chabert or Valerie Bertinelli will be the star—or maybe Candace Cameron.
From there, you can predict that the female lead will be portraying a character who left her small town behind for the big city only to discover that home is where her heart is. And the primary drama will center around whether or not she'll leave her big-city editorial job to come back and run the family farm, inn, or cafe.
In other words, if you've seen one Hallmark movie, you've seen them all, and that's becoming increasingly true of the Chiefs as well. At this point, the team has been to four of the last five Super Bowls and won three of them. They were kept out of another Super Bowl because of an offsides penalty.
Even when they're behind by double-digit points, you stilll know the Chiefs are going to win like clockwork—even if there's only 13 seconds left in the game. You can basically just go nap for the first three quarters and then come in to high-five everyone in the fourth quarter like you knew it all along. That's because the Chiefs are the NFL's version of a Hallmark movie already.
Going all in on the female demo
The Chiefs (and the entire NFL, really) have enjoyed a tremendous surge in popularity among female fans, in particular among a younger set, and they have Taylor Swift's relationship with Travis Kelce to thank for much of that.
Clearly last season was a magical one for the league in terms of opening new doors of opportunity for marketing the game as Swift was a regular attendee at NFL games, which generated significant buzz in an audience that was perhaps indifferent or even negative toward the sport. Not anymore.
At this point, recent polls show that 64% of women have a favorable impression of the National Football League and 46% of the league's fans are female. Those numbers are incredible.
For a sport that already dwarfs every other major pastime in America, it's amazing that they can still make up so much ground among a new segment of fans. So if you're already leaning in this direction, why not roll with a Hallmark movie?
It's already heartening enough just watching Swift root for Kelce in a real-world game. How much more effective could the NFL tug heartstrings everywhere this holiday season with something specifically written to do so? It just makes sense with the demo.
They're busy in winter
Look, Hallmark movies technically cover all four seasons. There are nice enough movies set in the spring and fall and perhaps some summer-slated ones creep in there every once in a while. But we all know that the best time of year to curl up with a superficial romance and a mug of hot chocolate is during the winter.
If Hallmark is going to partner with a team in the NFL, it's gotta be a team that knows what they're doing in the winter. That means teams like the Broncos or Raiders are automatically out because no one there even knows that you can still work on anything meaningful after the month of December. Meanwhile, in Kansas City, coaches and players both know that things are just getting started in early January.
Celebrating the smaller market
In Hallmark movies, the big city is the enemy. It's too busy and loud. It's devoid of meaningful relationships. It's a dog-eat-dog world and in the world of Hallmark, it's a scene in which the protagonist is meant to only learn harsh lessons about what life is really all about.
We're not sure we agree with any of that, but we do love the fact that Hallmark movies celebrate the smaller markets. Not that Kansas City is the sort of small town often hosting the events of a Hallmark movie, but in the world of the NFL, it's certainly one of lesser metro areas.
While K.C. doesn't have anything on Green Bay or Buffalo when it comes to its Hallmark-y size, it's squarely in the category of "little guy" compared to the franchises situation in the Big Apple, L.A., the Windy City or other such metropolitan areas.
Why not add it to the pile?
At this point, the Chiefs have absolutely done it all already this offseason. They've had players appear in commercials and press conferences. They've attended award shows and hosted Saturday Night Live. They've gotten arrested again and again (and again) and stirred controversy with graduation speeches.
In an offseason filled with drama, intrigue, excitement, thrills, and good times, it just makes sense that anything goes in '24. At this rate, you might as well add a Hallmark movie to the mix because, hey, why not? It's not as if our offseason bingo cards were even remotely accurate anyway. If the Chiefs want to partner with Hallmark for a feel-good movie, we're here for it.