The Kansas City Chiefs have had a solid half-decade. They won the Super Bowl in 2020, did so again in 2023, and repeated as Super Bowl champions in 2024. It almost feels like the Chiefs could be Santa Claus with all of the good fortune coming their way in recent years.
That thought got me thinking: If the Chiefs were Santa Claus, what sort of non-coal presents would he gift to the rest of the teams in the AFC West? Let's take our best guess.
Broncos: Another double-digit losing streak against the Chiefs
When Peyton Manning chose to sign with the Denver Broncos in 2012, Chiefs fans were devastated. No, not because he didn't pick to sign with the Chiefs but because they knew that he would continue to dominate K.C. as he had throughout his entire career.
As expected, the Broncos steamrolled the Chiefs during the Manning era, dropping just one game to them (and that ended up being Manning's final game against Kansas City, giving him an all-time record of 14-2 against them from his Colts and Broncos days).
Well, turns out that Chiefs win in the back half of the 2015 season was the start of something beautiful. That was the first of 16 straight wins against Denver. Considering how badly the Broncos had beaten the Chiefs down over the years before that, 16 straight wins didn't feel like enough.
Sadly, the streak ended at 16, as Patrick Mahomes played through a nasty cold during the second Chiefs/Broncos game of the 2023 season and K.C. got whooped. It was a long time coming and we all knew that the streak wasn't going to last forever but wouldn't it have been more fun if it did?
If the Chiefs were Santa, they'd gift the Broncos another double-digit losing streak to the Chiefs because the first one was just so much fun. Why not do it again?
Chargers: Finding a way to screw things up with Jim Harbaugh
Chiefs fans weren't thrilled when Jim Harbaugh left Michigan this past offseason. No, not because he didn't choose to become the next head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks, Kansas State Wildcats, or Missouri Tigers, but because he was leaving the collegiate level altogether and becoming the next head coach of the Los Angeles Chargers.
First and foremost, the Chargers finally canning Brandon Staley was a sad day for Chiefs fans. It was a lot of fun watching Staley find the most bizarre way to blow games and not having him as the Bolts' leading man anymore is something Chiefs fans are still sad about.
The Chargers hiring Harbaugh showed that they were finally going to try to be a competent franchise and that's not fun for Chiefs Kingdom. Harbaugh might be an interesting personality but the man can coach. He's done nothing but win wherever he's been, going 29-21 at Stanford, 44-19-1 with the 49ers while making it to a Super Bowl, and 89-25 at Michigan while also winning a National Championship.
Right away, Chiefs fans have seen a difference with the Chargers under Harbaugh's guidance. They're not finding ways to lose games and that's a result of excellent coaching. Unfortunately, it doesn't look as though the Chargers will be a joke anymore but if the Chiefs were Santa Claus, they're going to do their best to ensure that Harbaugh's tenure with the Chargers ends the same way it did with the 49ers: In disappointing fashion with no Super Bowl titles to speak of.
Raiders: Missing out on another top prospect quarterback
It's always funny to see the Raiders struggle so this season has been a barrel of laughs for Chiefs fans. That alone could be a fun gift from Santa to the Raiders but why stop there? Let's continue to rub salt in the wound, shall we?
The Raiders have a chance to be the worst team in the NFL in 2024. If they end up with the worst record this season, they'll land the top pick in the 2025 NFL Draft, which probably means they take Colorado's Shedeur Sanders.
What would be funny is if the Raiders won just enough games in these final few weeks to take themselves out of the running for the top pick. The Raiders close out their 2024 season against the Falcons, Jaguars, Saints, and Chargers, and it's not crazy to think they could eke out maybe two more wins there.
Even if the Raiders were to win just one of their final four games, if the Giants lose out, they'd get the top pick and could have the best possible quarterback prospect in the draft. It'd be even funnier, however, if the Raiders won two or more games and completely took themselves out of the running for Sanders or Miami's Cam Ward.
Now, of course, the Raiders could still trade up, but if the Giants and another team that needs a quarterback ended up as the two worst teams, why would they do business with Vegas here? That's what Santa would give the Raiders if he was the Chiefs or a Chiefs fan. He'd make sure that the Raiders couldn't get the franchise quarterback they want.