KC Chiefs players with the best Thanksgiving-themed names

Here’s a silly list of Chiefs players with the best Thanksgiving-themed names.

For most of us, today is a holiday unlike most years. A global pandemic has likely completely sidelined Thanksgiving day plans for many—yours truly included here—or at least altered them to one degree or another. Still, it is a holiday and here’s hoping you’re at least within reach of a turkey leg and watching some football.

That means that, whether by yourself or with loved ones, we’re interested in helping you make the most of your Thanksgiving holiday by coming up with a silly list. For today, we thought it would be fun to come up with a comprehensive list of the Chiefs players with the best Thanksgiving-themed names.

Let’s start with the main course.

Turk(ey) Wharton

This could have been Turk McBride, but that dude left a sour taste in our mouth after watching the Chiefs invest a second-round pick in a player who was mostly injured or ineffective. This year, we’re thankful for a new Turk up front who is proving to be one of the best undrafted finds of Brett Veach’s young career. Alternate: J.J. Bird-en

Eric (Cran)Berry

Some of you will get fancy with this, but if you’re like me, you grew up with the canned version. It’s not that unlike our player comparison here who gave us some of the most delicious years ever as a Chiefs defender but who was also “canned” at times due to one unfortunately injury after another. Still, even those years we remember fondly for the overall package.

Willie Roa(ll)f

A Hall of Fame entry. A Thanksgiving dinner without bread is an incomplete meal. You can fight over which side dishes are in or out and can even dress them up differently, but you’ve gotta have the buttery Rollfs.

Dontari Poe(tatoes)

You can mash them, smash them, bake them, fry them. However you want to serve them (honestly no need to get crazy here, just mash them with some gravy), you gotta have your starch on Thanksgiving day. Alternate: Jerrelle Powe-tato

Trent Green Beans/Matt Cassel(role)

I put these together because Trent Green Beans, on their own, aren’t desired at my holiday table. I’m here to enjoy and indulge and straight veggies just aren’t doing the job. However, turn that dish into a Matt Casselrole and you have another thing coming. The crunchy stuff on top. The creamy stuff in the middle. I don’t ask how it’s made and Id on’t care. Alternate: Gary Green

Patrick Mahomes-cooking

Some of you are going to have dishes at your tables that sound odd to others of us. That’s the beauty of Thanksgiving. My grandmother had a weird lettuce salad thing that was more indulgent than healthy, but all I know is that I loved it. After I got married, my wife has never once tried that dish and I understand now as an adult. I’m still not sure what it is. But it’s Mahomes cookin’ and I’ll still have some on Thanksgiving.

Deron Cherry Pie

We need dessert, of course, and this was such an easy addition that we went for it.

Gehrig Dieter

Just kidding. We don’t want to hear anything about a diet today.