Classless Texans fan makes dumb decisions with Tyrann Mathieu football
By Matt Conner
A classless Houston Texans fan makes the dumbest possible choice when gifted a signed football by Tyrann Mathieu.
It’s going to happen to us all at some point. Father Time, as they say, is undefeated. Human history is littered with attempts to find the literal fountain of youth, and there are myriad products available for men and women to at least make us feel or look as if we discovered it. But in the end, old age takes over and we all begin to stumble, to forget, to make asinine decisions.
Perhaps that’s one explanation for an older gentleman from Houston who decided to take something valuable given to him and to throw (well, actually it’s kick) it away all in the name of impressing his 5 friends and cousins at a local restaurant.
The story begins on Twitter when Kansas City Chiefs All-Pro safety Tyrann Mathieu posts a tweet with the words, ‘So lame. And Wack.” Attached to the tweet is a video showing an elderly fan of the Houston Texans, someone who has earned the name LoopHole Scott, punting a football into a small body of water. Check it out below:
As a sports fan, this is nothing new. The bleacher bums at Wrigley Field have been throwing back the home runs of opponents for years. In some instances, it makes for good fandom to reject what one could keep for the sake of team spirit or whatnot.
However in this instance, there’s zero reason to be upset at Mathieu. He said he wanted to stay with the Texans, but they let him walk in free agency. The Chiefs paid him and now he’s playing on the other team. It’s a simple transaction, and it’s likely safe to assume that the man in this video would also choose to switch workplaces for more money in the same fashion.
If a person doesn’t want to own any sports memorabilia from a player from another team, there are numerous ways to get rid of it in a classy way. There are charities that would have loved to feature this as a giveaway. There are young fans who would love to own a football signed by the Honey Badger. If he wanted to be selfish, he could have even sold it on eBay to make a little side hustle.
Mathieu is right. This was lame. Then again, I think we’re safe in saying this same guy is also regularly reclining back in his airline seat, tipping waiters with religious paraphernalia rather than real money, and shouting into his cell in public because he won’t take it off speakerphone.
Here’s hoping Tyrann intercepts Deshaun Watson on Sunday and celebrates with a fake punt. We’d avoid the real thing because that’s a 15-yard penalty. It would also be classless.