Kansas City Chiefs: A Monday Morning Rant

Nov 30, 2014; Kansas City, MO, USA; Kansas City Chiefs general manager John Dorsey laughs with friends before the game against the Denver Broncos during the first half at Arrowhead Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

John Dorsey

I won’t hold the run defense against you Mr. Dorsey. You lost a Pro Bowl ILB and arguably your best pure run defending down lineman. However, every two-bit Chiefs blogger that took five seconds to look over the roster this offseason could see these problems with the offensive line and wide receivers coming from a mile away. I tried giving you the benefit of the doubt. “Maybe he knows something we don’t.” I told myself. “Just give it time to come together.” I told other fans that were worried.

Well, they’ve had time and they still stink. They stink bad, I’m talking “you went on vacation for a week and left your cereal bowl in the sink still half full of milk and the AC broke and it was 90 degrees outside every day” kind of stink.

I’m not sure what chaps my posterior more, the fact that we went into the draft with a GLARING need for a WR and didn’t take one in what is already officially the most prolific rookie wide receiving class in the history of the NFL OR the fact that the Chiefs currently have over $2.3 million in cap space and the salary difference between Mike McGlynn ($1.125 mil) and Geoff Schwartz ($2.325 mil) this season is only $1.2 million.

It just………AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started this piece off with a quote from the famous “Mad as Hell” rant from Network. I think I’ll close with something a little more “seasonal.”

In the words of the immortal Clark Griswold:

If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like John Dorsey, the GM, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Arrowhead Drive with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, block-missing, dog-kissing, brainless, d*@#less, hopeless, heartless, fat-a##, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey sh*# his offensive line is!

Hallelujah!

Holy sh*#!

Where’s the Tylenol?