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I Pretended To Be John Dorsey For ESPN: Here’s What Happened


For the last two years, in addition to writing a weekly column for Arrowhead Addict, I have also been representing the Nation as the official Kansas City Chiefs Superfan for the ESPN Football Today podcast. My role and importance as a Superfan fluctuated between the show’s changing lineup of hosts, but I always found it to be a fun exercise to get my two cents discussed in a wider forum.

Nonetheless, by far the most interesting and exciting event for us 32 Superfans was not getting our nonsense reactions to the latest games read throughout the season, but the three-round mock draft we took upon ourselves to act out every year.

This was not some ordinary mock draft. We, the designated Superfans, chosen through a lengthy application process, each year went through a live action draft complete with trades and arguments with our fictitious league commissioner. This year, I discarded my oversized suit jackets and thick-rimmed glasses for a sour expression and a pinnipedal cohort.

Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

In other words, I tried to think like the new regime and get the best I could out of our draft capital while following what seems to be their game plan. Here’s how it went down:


Like every Chiefs fan on the planet, I was looking to trade down. If I had the chance to stay within the top 5-6, I was pretty much willing to take any offer as there would definitely be a player there that I could take and I really wanted to recoup some mid-round picks. My second priority was – if I wasn’t going to land a major trade-down – to flip LT Brandon Albert for a 2nd and change.

I got plenty of offers to move up to #1 overall, but they all came from teams too far away for my liking. Then, the Buccaneers made a crazy trade to move up from #13 to Jacksonville’s spot at #2 in exchange for their 2014 1st and a late 2013 pick. The Jaguars must have been desperate to look to the future and gaining as much talent as they can next year because the trade was for far less than the draft value chart would call for. It also is a bit of an indictment of the talent at the top of this year’s class. Either way, I knew a mark when I saw one and told the Bucs Superfan/GM that I had been getting offers for the #1 spot and I wasn’t sure who those teams were going for, but if he wanted to get his guy – and clearly he did – all he had to do was part with a 3rd-rounder to move all the way to the top.

In the end, that was too rich for his blood, but I took a 4th off of him in the end and moved down to #2 overall. I then turned my attention to Albert. Like the real Chiefs, I was shopping him loud and hard. A couple of teams inquired, but I wanted to get a deal done before I had to actually make my pick. In the end, I took the Raven’s 2nd-round (#62) and 5th-round (#165) picks for our franchised left tackle. It would have been nice to get a higher 2nd, but this still gave the team plenty of capital.

At this point, through compensatory picks and trades, my Chiefs team had regained a 2nd and had two picks in rounds 3, 4, 5 and 6. But, that was to be short-lived.

We didn’t fully lay down the rules this year, and several of the teams complained that it made things too complicated to trade current players. I protested. The Philadelphia Superfan/GM then pointed out that Baltimore doesn’t have near enough space to pick up Albert’s contract in the first place and, while one could assume they would negotiate a cap-friendly long-term deal with him post-trade, that was just a bridge too far. The trade was voided.

In fact, only 12 teams have the cap space to be able to absorb Albert’s contract at the moment according to (the fabulous follow) the Film Room on Twitter. Those teams are: the Eagles, the Bills, the Pats, the Jags, the Cards, the Colts, the Jets, the Packers, the Bengals, the Browns, and the Bucs. All other teams would have to cut players to make space.

Unfortunately, the drama over the Albert trade erupted after I had already drafted his replacement – Luke Joeckel – 2nd overall. Still, if the Chiefs can trade down and still get either Jockel or Fisher, they should count themselves lucky regardless of what happens with Albert.

Feb 23, 2013; Indianapolis, IN, USA; Texas A

Thus, the Nick-led Chiefs would forego any picks in the 2nd round and it would next come around to us at pick #63.

Here’s how rounds 1 & 2 panned out overall.

Round 1

1 Tampa Bay via Kansas City via Jacksonville – CB Dee Milliner

2 Kansas City via Tampa Bay via Jacksonville – OT Luke Joeckel

3 Oakland – OT Eric Fisher

4 Philadelphia – OLB Dion Jordan

5 Detroit – DE Ezekiel Ansah

6 Cleveland – OLB Jarvis Jones

7 Arizona – OG Chance Warmack

8 San Diego via Buffalo – OT Lane Johnson

9 New York Jets – DE/OLB Barkevious Mingo

10 Tennessee – DT Shariff Floyd

11 Buffalo via San Diego – QB Geno Smith

12 Miami – CB Xavier Rhodes

13 Jacksonville via Tampa Bay – WR Tavon Austin

14 Carolina – DT Sheldon Richardson

15 Cincinnati via New Orleans – S Kenny Vaccaro

16 St. Louis – DT Star Lotulelei (steal of the day)

17 Pittsburg – OG John Cooper

18 Dallas – DT Sylvester Williams

19 New York Giants – ILB Alec Ogletree

20 Chicago – DE Damontre Moore

21 New Orleans via Cincinnati – DT Jesse Williams

22 St. Louis via Washington – WR Keenan Allen

23 San Francisco via Minnesota – DE Margus Hunt

24 Indianapolis – WR DeAndre Hopkins

25 Minnesota via Seattle – DE Datone Jones

26 Green Bay – S Matt Elam

27 Buffalo via Houston – WR Cordarrelle Patterson

28 Denver – DE Bjoern Werner (2nd steal of the day)

29 New England – CD Desmond Trufant

30 Atlanta – CB Blidi Wreh-Wilson

31 San Francisco – DT John Jenkins

32 Baltimore – ILB Manti Te’o

Round 2

33 Jacksonville – OT D.J. Fluker

34 Arizona via Kansas City through San Francisco and Minnesota – QB E.J. Manuel

35 Philadelphia – S Eric Reid

36 Detroit – LB Arthur Brown

37 Cincinnati via Oakland – RB Eddy Lacy

38 Minnesota via Arizona – Quinton Patton

39 New York Jets – TE Tyler Eifert

40 Tennessee – DE Tank Carradine

41 Houston – WR Justin Hunter

42 Miami – OT Menelik Watson

43 Tampa Bay –  CB D.J. Hayden

44 Carolina – OT Reid Fragel

45 San Diego – OG Justin Pugh

46 St. Louis – S Jonathan Cyprien (STL was killin’ it)

47 Dallas – OG Larry Warford

48 Houston via Pittsburg – MLB Kevin Minter

49 New York Giants – CB Jonathan Banks

50 Baltimore via Chicago – S D.J. Swearinger

51 Washington – CB Jamar Taylor

52 Minnesota – WR Aaron Dobson

53 New Orleans via Cincinnati – OT Terron Armstead

54 Miami – DE Alex Okafor

55 Green Bay – DT Kawaan Short

56 Seattle – TE Zach Ertz

57 Pittsburg via Houston – DT John Hankins

58 Denver – WR Robert Woods

59 New England – WR Terrence Williams

60 Atlanta – DE Sam Montgomery

61 Tampa Bay via San Francisco – QB Ryan Nassib

62 Chicago via Baltimore – OT/OG Dallas Thomas

Sitting at the top of the 3rd round, I had a lot of choices and some good players had fallen. Obviously, ILB is the Chiefs only glaring hole, but it is also a position where you can find some good players later in the draft. When it comes to premiere positions where you want to load up on talent, I think pass rusher is the next place the Chiefs should add a body. With Andy Studebaker (who was no world-beater) gone, can you name the team’s #3 outside linebacker? Didn’t think so.

Mike Mayock’s 2nd-rated 3-4 outside linebacker is a guy probably few of you have heard of – not Barkevious Mingo, nope, he put Jamie Collins above him, right after Dion Jordon. Few know Jamie Collins because he was playing in the witness protection program down in Southern Mississippi, a team that didn’t win a single game in 2012. But, if you look at Collins’ tape, he definitely stands out as a high-motor, highly skilled guy with the speed to go all over the field as basically the only bright spot on that defense.

Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

We need a guy to rotate and develop with OLB’s Tamba Hali and Justin Houston because currently we have no depth and Tamba turns the big 30 this year. So, I grabbed Collins, who I think is a steal at that spot.

Later in the round, I was still able to get my ILB target. I know there are lots of Arthur Brown fans on this site, but Oregon’s Kiko Alonso looks to me like Manti Te’o, just underrated rather than overrated and with a real, live girlfriend.

Scott Olmos-USA TODAY Sports

This is how the 3rd round went overall:

Round 3

63 Kansas City – OLB Jamie Collins

64 Jacksonville – CB Darius Slay

65 Detroit – OT Kyle Long

66 Oakland – CB David Amerson

67 Philadelphia – DE William Ghoston

68 Cleveland – S Shawn Williams

69 Arizona – C/G Travis Frederick

70 Tennessee – CB Jordan Poyer

71 Buffalo – TE Gavin Escobar

72 New York Jets – S Tony Jefferson

73 San Francisco via Tampa Bay – TE Travis Kelce

74 Minnesota via San Francisco – DT Brandon Williams

75 Cincinnati via New Orleans – OLB Sio Moore

76 Baltimore via San Diego – -OT Luke Marquardt

77 Miami – CB Robert Alford

78 St. Louis – RB Marcus Lattimore

79 Pittsburg – RB Giovanni Bernard

80 Chicago via Dallas – LB Khaseem Greene

81 New York Giants – OLB Corey Lemonier

82 Miami – C Barrett Jones

83 Minnesota – S Phillip Thomas

84 New Orleans via Cincinnati – OLB Trevardo Williams

85 New York Jets via Washington – RB Jonathan Franklin

86 Indianapolis – OL Brian Schwenke

87 Seattle – WR Da’Rick Rogers

88 Green Bay – RB Montee Ball

89 Houston – QB Tyler Wilson

90 Denver – RB Le’Veon Bell

91 New England – WR Ryan Swope

92 Atlanta – TE Vance McDonald

93 San Francisco – RB Mike Millislee

94 San Diego via Baltimore – CB Leon Sandcastle … err McFadden

95 Houston – WR Markus Wheaton

96 Kansas City – ILB Kiko Alonso

97 Tennessee – WR Steadman Bailey

To see the full spreadsheet, plus explanations for the picks from the other Superfans, click here.

So what do you think, Addicts? Did I do the right thing? Who would you have picked?