Chiefs Stocking-Stuffers!
Looking for that perfect last-minute gift for the Kansas City Chiefs fan—or, say, fifth-year outside linebacker—in your life? Well, with only a few shopping days left until the Big Day (December 26 at Arrowhead, of course), you might want to consider one of these stocking-stuffers, guaranteed to please even the season-ticket-holder or journeyman wide receiver who has everything!
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#1: Home Appendectomy Kit
Nobody wants to be stuck indoors just because of a silly little case of acute appendicitis—there’s too much to do, whether that’s getting out to enjoy the holiday season with loved ones, or getting behind center to lead your team back from within an inch of its playoff life. This is the right gift for anyone who enjoys a good RIY (remove-it-yourself) project.
#2: Permanent Headset and Clipboard
Ordinary headsets fall off and regular clipboards are just so easy to drop. But this reliable headset-and-clipboard assembly is engineered with patented “Third String” technology and guaranteed to stay on forever—perfect for that back-up quarterback who is never again (not ever, ever*) going back into another regular- or post-season game for the Chiefs! (Order now and get a #12 jersey included at no extra cost!)
*Ever.
#3: Extra Carries
Can anyone have too much of a good thing, especially this time of year? Makes a great gift for the running back who already got that $32.5-million contract extension he had his eye on.*
*Customers who purchased this item also liked: The Screen/Reverse Play-Calling Variety Pack.
#4: A Pick-Six
Reward that linebacker who finally has been living up to his potential with this generous token of your fondness. He’ll really appreciate it! (Especially if he’s been having more trouble grabbing one for himself this holiday season.)
#5: “10,000-Yard Club” Cubic-Zirconium-Encrusted Medallion
What better way to show that special back how much you appreciate all the little things he does (sweep left for two yards, pitch right for one yard, up the middle for no gain, etc.) than with some festive holiday bling?
#6: Missing Chief Milk Carton Ornaments
Your family and friends will love sticking these very brittle adornments in those hard-to-reach, difficult-to-see spots on their tree. Each comes with a cheerful mugshot and “Have You Seen This Player?” lettered in colorful sequins. Available in several styles, including our most popular: Tyson Jackson, Glenn Dorsey, Terrance Copper, and Chris Chambers SOLD OUT.
#7: Outdoor Football
Nobody loves a white Christmas like a team that’s built to succeed in sub-zero temps and driving snow (such as, say, one that leads the league in rushing, as opposed to one with a prissy finesse passer and a sunny hometown). It’s football the way it was meant to be! Look for it in Kansas City, Cincinnati, and—if necessary—Denver.*
*And for a limited time in Minnesota!
#8: The “Where’s Vrabel?” Activity Pack
This favorite, which has been around for years, offers hours of fun (well, more like moments of anxiety) for the whole “fan-ily!” Where’s Vrabel? Is that him, missing a tackle? Yes? No? Yes! And isn’t that him, catching a goal-line touchdown? Silly Vrabel!
#9: Round-Trip Tickets to Hawaii
Always a nice gift this time of year, and just right for any Chiefs fans who already have tickets for the Pro Bowl—or Chiefs players who don’t (because they’ll be playing in it)!*
*Additional charge for baggage (all kinds) may apply.
#10: A Consistent Defense
Back by popular demand!
Who needs a partridge in a pear tree when you can have Tamba in a 4-3?*
*Or, yes, more likely, a 3-4—which doesn’t rhyme with pear tree!
#11: XBox Kinect
How does it work? Who cares!
#12: A Chiefs Victory (TM)
Our most popular item—you can never have too many!
Nothing says “Merry Day-After-Christmas and Happy New Year!” like a complete offensive and defensive effort (special-teams effort optional!) against the tail-spinning Tennessee Titans!*
*Consider supplementing your thoughtful Chiefs Victory (TM) with a fun-for-the-whole-family San Diego Chargers Defeat (TM)—in fact, get both together and a Limited Edition 2010 AFC West Championship is all yours in one complete package!
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So…what else is on your Christmas/Kwanzaa/overdue-Hanukkah wish list?