She’s Crazy…And I Love Her

You know what it’s like. We’ve all been there. You start dating this girl. She is unbelievably hot. Out of your league hot. You aren’t really sure what she sees in you but frankly, you don’t care.

Then, suddenly, it hits you.

She’s crazy.

You stay in it longer than you should, trying to convince yourself that she isn’t that nuts. That maybe you are just a little uptight and could stand to loosen up. She is just quirky, you tell yourself. She is unique. Passionate. Hot blooded.

You deceive yourself for as long as you can. You know you need to get out of it but you have waited too long. The dread sets in. You know it is going to be bad. This chick is nuts. She is just freaking crazy. And you’re terrified.

You break things off fast, like ripping off a Band-Aide. She gets mad, yells at you and throws crap in your general direction. But it’s over.

A couple of weeks go by and all is clear. Maybe you start dating again. You meet a nice, sane girl. She isn’t as pretty as the last one but she has all her marbles.

Then it starts. Sometimes it begins with a text or an email. She is writing you to tell you she is over it and that she thinks you are really great. She is sorry for throwing your snowboard at you. Maybe you can be friends? You politely decline.

Then it gets weird. She stats sending you flowers. She leaves you long, rambling drunken messages. Your doorbell rings when you aren’t expecting anyone. She drops by your work because she was “just in the neighborhood and thought she’s say hi and bring you some Starbucks and your favorite marble cake.” She messages your new girl on Facebook, telling her how lucky she is. You get a mix CD in the mail. It is filled with songs by Phil Collins. One morning you wake to find the word “prick” scratched in to the side of your car. She is crossing a line.

You get a restraining order. Now you are safe. She can’t come within 500 yards of you. All your friends are relieved. It was awkward when she “ran into” your group at bars and they are glad she is out of the picture.

A few months go by. You get your life back on track. Things get serious with your new girlfriend. You have redefined yourself at work. You get a big raise.

Then you go to Vegas and marry the stalker.

Wait. What?

Yes folks, our good friend Chris Chambers just married the very woman he claimed was stalking him back in December.

In late July, Chambers married Stacey Bernice Saunders.

In case you don’t remember this story from last year, I will break it down for you. Basically, Chambers was cheating on his wife with Saunders. He broke off the affair and then Saunders went crazy and started stalking him. She was facing 11 misdemeanor counts for harassing the Chiefs WR and his family.

7 months later, they were married.

Let this be a lesson to all you stalkers out there. If at first you don’t succeed, stalk, stalk, stalk again.