My Denver Nightmare


I got a text this morning that woke me up: “Brandon Marshall is now a Dolphin.” “Halle-effing-lujah!” I rejoiced. Then I tried to go back to sleep…and started thinking. Never a good thing when I start thinking too much.

The Seahawks just traded for Charlie “Don’t Call Me Jesus” Whitehurst. Art Modell will be given a parade in Cleveland before the Browns are going to take another Notre Dame QB. The Raiders are stuck on Fatmarcus. The Jags want to win now. If our old friend Chan Gailey’s Buffalo Bills don’t like Jimmy Clausen, he could easily slip to the Broncos at 11.

Meanwhile, Dez Bryant is slipping as well. Newly equipped with an extra second-round pick, the Broncos could easily trade up (packaging a second and maybe a third) into the mid-to-late first and snag him. They can do so and still have a second-round pick to burn on, say, a linebacker.

The thought of the Donkeys replacing Brandon Marshall and Jay Cutler — the former underrated the latter overrated — in one draft is terrifying. Granted, this might never happen. Granted, if it does happen, Bryant and Clausen might not even pan out. But even the biggest of skeptics would have to admit that they have the potential to become the two best skill players to emerge from this draft class.

Personally, I want the potential Clausen-Bryant connection to stay the hell away from Colorado. Especially when I am terrified about us taking a position you never draft in the top five, safety, in a draft class stockpiled full of safeties. Shudder. Go ahead and draw and quarter me in the comments, I wouldn’t expect anything less. But at the same time, just recall at what junctures Adrian Wilson, Bob Sanders, Ed Reed and Troy Polamalu were picked. You don’t make the Super Bowl by drafting safeties in the top ten (ahem, Michael Huff, ahem).

Didn’t Pat Bowlen play horror maestro Wes Craven enough in the 80s and 90s (with John Elway as his Freddy Krueger)? The last thing I want them to do is to reinvent their horror franchise while we continue to be the dumb blonde chick who trips over stuff while being chased. Hopefully, this was all just a bad dream.