Oh, Romeo, Romeo, whyfore* art thou so confused, Romeo?
*Note to our copy editors Natasha and Franklin: I am aware that whyfore probably isn’t a word,** even in Shakespearean English, but just go with me here.
**Paddy, I’ll allow creative license here. –NS
So yesterday, Chiefs head coach* Romeo Crennel was asked why WR Steve Breaston hasn’t been active on game day recently. As you know, Breaston was the Chiefs’ #2 receiver last season after Dwayne Bowe. He played a little bit early this season but has since dropped off the radar. Pretty simple question from the media. They asked what Breaston needed to do to get back on to the field. Crennel, to his credit, gave a pretty simple response.
Or so we thought!
*For about three more weeks.
He needs to show that he has a great understanding of the game plan and he can execute the game plan. If he can do that, then he can be in uniform.
Now I don’t know about you, but it sure sounded to me like Crennel was saying that Breaston needes to show that he has a great understanding of the game plan. You know, cause he said “He needs to show he has a great understanding of the game plan.”
So that is what Breaston needs to do to get on the field, right? That must mean that the last couple of weeks, in which Breaston hasn’t been active, that he must be having issues understanding the offense. I mean, you know, ’cause that is what we’re all talking about, right?
Well, the statement from Crennel led to a little bit of confusion on the part of Steve Breaston, who clearly didn’t enjoy the fact that his head coach threw him under the bus in front of the media.
Here is how he responded yesterday:
I don’t think it’s been expressed to me. I understand the offense. They may feel a different way then so be it. You can’t fight city hall. I go out there and work. Maybe better understand the offense is not going out there and being a decoy and things like that. Maybe me wanting the ball and things like that, I get upset about that, but I understand this offense. Maybe I’ll find out in the meetings what that really means.
So today, Crennel took the podium once again to clear up the matter.
And what he wanted to clear up, was that his words don’t mean what they mean and that the media is at fault for believing that his words mean what they mean.
‘Cause apparently they mean something else.
“See, I’m going to tell you guys right now, because I’m a little irked about that,” Crennel said today, “that statement I made yesterday was a generic statement. A generic statement. It could be applied to any position on the team, any player on the team. And you guys took it to mean that he didn’t know the game plan. I never said he didn’t know the game plan, never said that. So, Steve Breaston knows the game plan. That’s what I’m clarifying.”
Let me try to simplify this like it is a question on the SAT for morons.
Stevie needs to know the game plan to get onto the football field. The last two weeks, Stevie hasn’t been allowed on the football field.
The reason Stevie hasn’t been on the field is because:
A. Stevie didn’t know the game plans.
B. Stevie slept in and forgot to drive to the stadium.
C. Stevie’s head coach forgot he was on the team.
Jiminy Christmas! Is there really any more doubt, other than the atrocious QB play, why the Kansas City Chiefs stink so bad?
Crennel didn’t even stop there.
“Because I say that,” Crennel continued, “you think that he doesn’t know the game plan? If I said that about the quarterback, would you assume that the quarterback didn’t know the game plan? [Reporter says yes.] You know what, that’s something about assume, you shouldn’t assume. Because you know what happens when you assume.
“Yeah, Steve Breaston knows the game plan. You know what, these guys have been together and hanging together all year and I know that, hey, there’s nothing good to write about, but don’t assume that a guy doesn’t know the game plan, that a guy’s not smart or anything like that. I make the decision about who’s active and who’s not active and he has not been active because it’s my decision and that’s what I go with. Not on the player. So don’t do that to the player.”
Let that be a lesson to you media-types and fans alike. Don’t you dare go assuming that Romeo Crennel means what he says or even that his words mean what the dictionary tells you they mean.
‘Cause they might mean something else.
Especially if his words are “generic” even if he was asked a direct question about a specific player.
Remember kids, 2 + 2 = 4, unless Romeo Crennel is doing the math, in which case it might add up to 6 or even -3.