Dead Men Walking

For those of you that have spent a lot of time perusing the outstanding offerings put forth in the Chiefs Nation blogosphere over the past year and half, you’ll probably recognize me pretty quick. But just in case you don’t, my name is Chris and I’m the owner/lead author of KC Chiefs Fanatic.

Some of you may have caught on to my no-holds barred kind of style when it comes to the way I write, and while I’ll be trying out some different approaches here, rest assured that you’ll still be getting more of the same attitude and substance as you would if you were hanging around my own site.

It took a lot of convincing and wrangling on the part of both Adam and Zach to get me over here, but I couldn’t be more excited then I am right now in knowing that I now can count the Arrowhead Addict audience as my own. This is definitely one of the best sites on the web devoted purely to Chiefs football, and I’m glad that I have the opportunity to share with you my passion and love of both the Chiefs and the game of football itself.

Ok, enough about me. Today we’re going to get right down to business by laying out the top five guys on the Chiefs that should be printing up their resumes and hitting the streets to look for a new line of work.

All of these guys are players who at one point in their pitiful careers actually showed a bit of promise but despite having the Chiefs invest large sums of money and time into molding them back into top-tier caliber players, they all have performed like a group of fat chicks trying to make the cheerleading squad.

Unfortunately for the Chiefs, no one ever wants to be the bad guy and tell them the awful truth that they suck beyond belief and should probably find a new career path. That is until now, of course.

So without further adieu, let me be the first to introduce you to the Chiefs version of Dead Men Walking…

5. Napoleon Harris

At one time I truly was excited about the addition of Nap Harris to the Chiefs defense. Here is a guy that is uniquely suited to playing the exact kind of defense the Chiefs just so happen to employ under Herm Edwards – the cover 2. He showed that he was definitely capable of being an every down middle linebacker while playing in both Oakland and Minnesota, but once he hit the nice contract the Chiefs doled out to him at the end of the 2006 campaign, he decided to take a stroll down Easy Street and hasn’t looked back since.

He’s had every opportunity to solidify himself as the Chiefs top middle linebacker, but he has chosen to bitch and moan about the perceived injustice of his lack of playing time all while consistently proving himself to be worthless time and time again by missing key tackles, blowing coverages down field, and making a general ass of himself in the process.

He probably won’t get the boot right away considering the Chiefs complete lack of quality depth at the position, but I for one think that he’s made a strong enough case for his one way ticket out of town, and if Herm had a real set of stones, he’d have made this move yesterday.

4. Damon Huard

Once upon a time there was a backup quarterback who played for the Chiefs named Damon Huard. He sat on the bench year after year, patiently waiting his turn in line behind the likes of Trent “Which way did he go? Green and Todd “Al Saunders is my daddy” Collins.

Then one day he finally got his shot with the Chiefs and he made the most of it by engineering a remarkable playoff push that still astounds most if not all of Chiefs Nation to this day. But instead of riding the hot hand arm of Huard into the playoffs, head coach Herm Edwards dumps him like he’s the ugly girl at the prom in favor of the concussed one, Tr-INT.

The Chiefs lost that game miserably of course, and while it was a nice season on the part of Huard, that was almost three years ago, and yet Huard is still somehow hanging on by a thread with the team. He has shown time and time again that he has little left to offer this team, which is why the Chiefs are so hell bent on throwing Tyler Twigpen to the wolves this pre-season.

It would be nice to say that Huard was just mentoring the Chiefs young QBs, but let me be the first to say that Damon Huard is the last veteran QB I would want teaching my young starter Brodie Croyle how to play the game. I mean what’s lesson one? How to be a crappy journeyman QB and still collect a paycheck?

All kidding aside, it’s high time Huard hit the road back to Washington and gets a head start on his new life, because right now he’s just wasting space on the bench.

3. Damion McIntosh

When the Chiefs brought BigMac into the fold two off-seasons ago, many in Chiefs Nation rejoiced, as they had seen him play solid football during his time in Miami, not to mention that he also played ball down the road for the K-State Wildcats.

But of course, as many a former decent player seem to do when they come to KC, the Mac Attack worked on developing his feminine side, and deposited himself firmly on the bench with a bunch of excuses and nancy-girl injuries. He was supposed to be the anchor of our offensive line, but instead of holding down the fort like solid left tackles are meant to do, he folded like a deck of cards, and dragged the rest of the team with him into the abyss otherwise known as a 4-12 season.

Now don’t get me wrong, D-Mac isn’t the only one to blame for that Hindenberg-esque disaster of epic proportions. But truth be told, he did little to stem the flow of blood, and as such deserves a spot on this list. That being said, MacInturd sealed his coffin with his atrocious play this pre-season, and should vacate his spot and paycheck on this team to someone more deserving… say it with me now – Herb is the word.

2. Will Svitek

I won’t dwell too long on Route 71 as mi amigos here at AA have done plenty to enhance Svitek’s image as a worthless piece of crap for quite some time now. But that being said, it’s always fun to kick a terrible player when they’re down, and Svitek is no exception.

I doubt very seriously that any of you can look at me and say that he is deserving of spot as my trash man let alone as a professional football player. Svitek has done more to speed along his quarterback’s demise than anyone I have ever seen, as he seemingly turns tail and runs every time he faces off against an opposing defensive end, allowing his QB to be routinely blindsided and annihilated in the process.

The case has been made time and time again for his quick departure via trash truck to the nearest dump, and although it’s always possible that Herm could temporarily lose his mind and keep him on the roster, I have an outstanding feeling that this is finally the year where we get to see him tossed overboard and fed to the sharks.

1. B.J. Sams

Never before has a player made me hate his guts so quickly, but Sams has done just that through three games this pre-season. If there’s one thing I hate to see more than anything else, it’s D-bags like Sams tip-toeing around on kickoff/punt returns like he’s trying out to be on Dancing with the Stars with Jason “Twinkle Toes” Taylor.

I’m going to be brutally honest with this one – Sams is worse than Eddie Drummond ever was. I know that’s saying a lot considering the level of suck that Drummond forced us to watch each and every week when he returned kicks last season, but I’m telling you right now, Sams is much, much worse.

Not only is Sams completely unwilling to run the ball in a forward direction on a consistent basis, but he is also absolutely inept at making would-be tacklers miss, which is an attribute that I would think to be of critical importance to anyone wishing to be a return man in the NFL. He has quickly earned his way into this spot on the list, and without a doubt, he should be gone by sunrise tomorrow.

Chris Kolb is the owner and lead writer for KCChiefsFanatic.com