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DeeNice42: u shud preach that to 27, he always on some shit in da clubs. he got shit pendin’ n thems just the ones who actually said sumthin. smhabout 23 hours ago

Translation: You’re talking to Larry Johnson? You should be scared sh**less. He’s always in trouble for slapping around women at nightclubs, and those are just the ladies who decided to come forward. Homeboy is a regular Ike Turner.

DeeNice42: yous a good woman then…but b careful wit that no self control shit cause he a big dude n u but like a buck-two-five. hope he dnt put his about 23 hours ago

Translation: You’re a good woman. Be careful, though, because L.J. is a big ass dude who likes to slap chicks around/spit drinks in their faces. Hope he hasn’t whooped that ass already. He’s the black Tom Sizemore when it comes to abusing women.

DeeNice42: he still got almost a buck on ya, so dnt preach him too much lol. he been to nyc yet or wut..about 23 hours ago

Translation: He has 100 pounds on you, so watch what you say or he’ll punch you right in the mouth. Has he made a booty call to see you in NYC yet?

DeeNice42: oh good, did he bless ya wit some bling, expensive dinners n all that…about 23 hours ago

Translation: So he did come through and hook up with you. You better have gotten some jewelery and expensive dinners out of those you-know-what payments. Do your thing gold digger. Take him for all he’s worth.

DeeNice42: no matter if ya into bling or not, we come tru d town of a honey she gotta b taken care of u feel me.. by any mean necessary. about 22 hours ago

Translation: L.J. didn’t buy you bling? Dude’s got no game. Actually I have no game, but I’m rich and I’m letting you know that I will spoil your ass and do anything else necessary in order to get with you. That includes throwing a fellow NFL player who would break me in two under the bus on the world’s biggest social networking site. When it comes to hating, I step into the phone booth and emerge wearing spandex and a cape.

DeeNice42: dinner n clubbin’ man u easy to please. any nigga do that for ya’. im tellin u when we come tru d town of a honey she gets spoiled…about 22 hours ago

Translation: Did I mention that Larry Johnson is cheap? Not me. Me and my crew will give a gold digger exactly what she wants. One of those referee-lookin’ Foot Locker employees can take you to dinner and then the club. L.J. might as well work at Foot Locker. Don’t you want to get spoiled by a sucker like me?

Even though L.J. is still in my doghouse, I gotta take his side on this one. Smearing a fellow pro athlete’s name all over Twitter to the point of libel just to impress some hoochie (and if you search his old Twitter name you see a bunch of chicks trying to holler, so that isn’t off base) was a pathetic move by Sharper. Larry Johnson may be an asshole/prima donna/hasbeen, but Sharper looks like a coward and a hater. It also amazes me that these athletes don’t seem to think about the repercussions of their social networking. It’s as if Sharper thought nobody else would see this.

Anyway, I found this whole thing very amusing. It took some work to translate Sharperese, but I think I have it down now. So, if anybody is looking for a translator, I’m your man. We’ll keep you posted on the Johnson-Sharper beef. Unfortunately, the Chiefs and the Saints, Sharper’s new team, don’t play this season. Regardless, Sharper better have his head on the swivel. L.J.’s got almost a buck on him, too.

(Adam Best is the senior editor of Arrowhead Addict. Follow him daily via email/RSS feed and Twitter.)