The grass is greener now. Or there is grass, anyway. Fewer brown patches. Scott Pioli is no longer this lawn’s gardener, and everyone is a lot happier for it.

There are some of you, I’m sure, who don’t want to re-hash Pioli’s tenure. You needn’t worry, I won’t be holding up any mirrors today. This isn’t about the people Pioli fooled, it’s about the mistakes he made. Those mistakes can be constructive. More so for us than for the new leadership, even. We were here to see it; it means more to us.

As strange as the candy wrapper/curtains/color copies stories are, they’re not what caused Pioli’s downfall. An unhealthy office environment doesn’t translate to a total meltdown on the field. I just took those stories as useful insight into our GM’s personality.

The office stuff is easier for us to interpret than the football dealings. Many of us have worked in offices, and seen people handle that kind of power poorly. Seeing Pioli do the same…..it humanizes him, in a weird way. He obviously wasn’t ready for leadership. He probably never will be. You could almost feel sorry for office-Pioli, in the same way you kinda feel sorry for the boss you dislike, because his annoying qualities reveal his deep insecurities.

In terms of moves made before the disastrous 2012 season, Pioli definitely deserves some blame. Peyton Hillis was an obviously bad signing, and letting Brandon Carr go in favor of Stanford Routt could not have worked out worse. He again didn’t bring in a legit QB, and he let a tired old man stay on as head coach. The draft class drew criticism, although obviously we can’t judge them fully yet.*

*You need to wait 12-15 years before you can even THINK about passing judgement on a draft class. Every smart fan knows that. I’m just now ready to render my verdict on the Trezelle Jenkins pick. And that verdict is……inconclusive. Need more time. 

Still, taking all that into account, was this an offseason that caused a 2-14 finish? That wasn’t the consensus opinion at the time. Although his efforts look worse in hindsight, I still don’t think the 2012 offseason was the main cause of this team’s downfall.

The root of Pioli’s problem lies all the way back in 2009. And no, this isn’t me setting up Tin Man cheap shots. The fault, I think, was with Pioli’s entire approach. The fact that he felt comfortable picking a role player at #3 overall is just one piece of evidence.

Let’s take a look at the moves:

• Hires Todd Haley as head coach

• Trades high second-round pick for Matt Cassel and Mike Vrabel

• Signs Cassel to $63 million deal

• Drafts Tyson Jackson #3 overall

• Drafts Alex Magee, Donnie Wash, Colin “The Prototype” Brown, Quinten “Core” Lawrence, Javarris Williams and Jake O’Connell before finally hitting on a pick with Ryan Succop in the seventh round.

• Cuts Bernard Pollard, replaces with Mike Brown

• Signs Mike Goff and Eric Ghiaciuc to shore up the offensive line

• Gives the receiving corps a hilarious facelift, bringing in Bobby Engram, Amani Toomer, Bobby Wade, Terry Copper and Ashley Lelie

• Linebacking corps gets an equally effective facelift, adding Zach Thomas, Corey Mays and Monty Beisel to the aforementioned Vrabel

• Trades Tony Gonzalez for 2010 second-round pick (Javier Arenas)

I could probably go on. Maybe it would be more telling to try to think of some good moves.

The spin after the season was that they knew 2009 would be bad, and they just wanted to “get through it.” Pioli and Haley were both quoted as saying that, so it can be taken as company line, rather than slip-of-tongue. As soon as Pioli was signed, he began cautioning patience. These guys clearly did not expect to be good right away.

They probably shouldn’t have; not realistically. Herm was an idiot, and he left a mess behind him. Pioli’s reaction to that mess is what sealed his fate, though we didn’t know it at the time.

What does it mean, really, to “lay the foundation” of a football team? Some would say that means making good draft picks. It was obvious from the start that Pioli didn’t do that in 2009, and yet, it was still considered a “lay the foundations” year. What that meant to him was installing his way of doing things. Changing the culture was at the front of his mind. The roster, clearly, was not. He thought that could wait.

I’ve clowned on the term “rebuilding” for years now, because often I think it’s another word for inactivity. Herm Edwards stressed the draft, but at the expense of everything else. Rebuilding, for him, meant not participating in free agency. For Pioli, that first year especially, it amounted to the same thing. Only with him, it was worse, because he also had a historically bad draft.

Here’s the lesson: you have got to hit the ground running. Other teams aren’t going to wait for you to lay your foundations. They’re going to be focused on getting the best players. If you’re not focused on that, even for one year, it’s already too late. 

The table was set perfectly for Pioli. High draft picks, tons of cap space, and a fan base that wasn’t expecting playoffs, and was desperate to find the positive in every move he made. He was in prime position to come out swinging, and he did the opposite. The effects weren’t felt in the short-term. We were bad that year, sure, but we’d already been bad. It’s not like we regressed. And since nobody was expecting to contend that year anyway, nobody really made a stink. Bad offseason? Who cares! 2009 was a mulligan.

Fast forward three years, to when the 2009 draft class should’ve been coming into its own. A league-average kicker and an overpaid block eater were all that remained.

Every team is a collection of acquisitions from previous offseasons, both free agent and draft. People often say a draft class affects a team most three or four years down the road. The same can be said of free agents, to a slightly lesser extent. A good free agent signing will be with a team for several years, they aren’t all reckless quick-fixes like some misled Herm/Pioli apologists would have us believe.

Priest Holmes broke the NFL touchdown record in his third year as a Chief. James Hasty made the Pro Bowl in his third and fifth years as a Chief. Brian Waters made the Pro Bowl in his fifth and sixth years as a Chief. Shoot, Sweet Ron Edwards was our starting nose tackle is his fifth year. Free agents affect your future nearly as much as draft picks. Take a year off from the free agent market, and that will be felt in the long-term, almost as much as the short-term.

Pioli took a year off from bringing in good players, period. When the time came for the 2009 class (free agent and draft) to be relied upon, they were nowhere to be found.

Even those who defended Pioli’s roster construction admitted quarterback was a glaring hole. In fact, that was used as an excuse of sorts. The roster was great…..except quarterback. Even for fans of this perspective, that one crucial flaw dates back to a decision made in the 2009 offseason. A mistake that came back to sink this team three years later.

I don’t think you can blame Pioli’s historic failure entirely on one offseason. Still, what is a GM’s tenure, but a collection of offseasons? Of Pioli’s four, 2009 was by far the worst. That year, more than any of the others, doomed his tenure. His decision to take things slow was fatal.

Thankfully, John Dorsey and Andy Reid have not made this same mistake. They’ve come out swinging, or “trying” as it’s known in some circles. Scott Pioli’s time in Kansas City, if nothing else, proved that is a must. 

The spin is in: our expectations were too high.

You might’ve thought this latest debacle was Scott Pioli’s fault, but you were wrong. This is, once again, our fault. Just like when we were too dense to understand the difference between cap space and cash spending, or when we weren’t smart enough to realize how good Tyson Jackson was. Or when we believed the sensationalist media’s rampant speculation about an unhealthy work environment at 1 Arrowhead Drive. This year, to top it all off, we had the nerve to expect to contend for a playoff spot.

We just can’t seem to get this right, Chiefs fans. It’s like we’ve never heard the word “process” before.

It could take 10 more years to right this ship. Or even 20. We won’t really know what we have in Matt Cassel til 2015, and Dontari Poe, being a defensive tackle, won’t be entering his prime til about 2020. I think by 2025 we’ll pretty much have this division on lockdown though. Then another 10-12 years and we’ll get a sweet taste of that AFC Championship game. We won’t win, of course. Not yet. That’s more of a 2050 project.

You’ve all seen or heard parts of Pioli’s recent “media blitz,” I’m sure. The standard, boring non-answers. No urgency, per usual. He did that thing he does where he says he’s taking responsibility but doesn’t take any responsibility. You know the one, usually something like “hey, we all need to do a better job, and that includes me.” A statement like that always sounds pretty hollow when followed up with a claim that Tyson Jackson is playing well or there weren’t any good QBs to draft. He “takes responsibility” and then explains why he hasn’t done anything wrong. And then his apologists get some talking points to parrot, we lose a bunch more games, rinse, repeat. Nothing new here, we’ve seen all this before.

The one nugget that caught my eye was when he said to Petro, “we talked over the summer about managing expectations.” Indicating that he had been warning people before the preseason even started not to get their hopes up. I certainly didn’t remember him doing that, in fact I remembered the opposite. I remembered him saying that expectations should be high. As it turns out, my memory was correct.

This doesn’t mean Pioli is lying. He very well might have talked with Petro about the need to manage expectations. Let’s assume he did. Is that not the most pathetic thing you’ve ever heard? That a GM in his FOURTH YEAR with a team would be cautioning against modest playoff hopes?

Only in Kansas City would someone even attempt this. After so many years of hearing nothing but excuses, KC fans have been thoroughly desensitized. Excuses no longer disgust us, like they do most people. It’s like we’ve been driving around with that puke smell in our car for so long, we don’t even notice it anymore.

We actually create excuses for the Chiefs now. Sometimes before they even get here. Fans were scrambling for ways to dismiss Brian Daboll’s past failures before his plane even touched down. The Daboll-Hillis reunion was something Chiefs fans were touting! Even at the time, I laughed at that.

After first hearing Pioli mention expectation-management to Petro, I tweeted some sarcastic remark and moved on with my day. It was a lame thing to say, sure, but Pioli is a lame guy. And since he obviously doesn’t communicate well, I assumed this was just some minor foot-in-mouth. Then I heard him trying to soft-sell the same idea two weeks later in an interview with Len Dawson. That tells me this is more party line than slip of tongue. And that just drives me crazy.

Is this seriously what this bunch of hacks is going with? That we were expecting too much? All joking aside, I’m surprised they’re willing to sink that low. Professional football executives essentially admitting that after four years on the job they still didn’t expect to contend. Why is Pioli not embarrassed by this? Why does he think this tactic can save him?

Dayton Moore is doing the same thing across the parking lot. It’s year six over there, and he’s talking about contending in 2014 (year eight) as if that’s a totally reasonable timetable. He actually says anyone who thinks otherwise “doesn’t do their own research” as if losing for many years is the only known path to winning.

Moore is a clown, but at least he actually is at a disadvantage payroll-wise. Pioli has no such excuse. The salary cap has made it so fortunes can rise and fall in the NFL every year…..as long as you’re not the Chiefs. Instead of our regular turn at contention, we get assurances that after a few more years of being bad, we’ll be good forever! The future, people! Consistent championships! What, are you one of those idiots who cares about the present? So shortsighted.

Then the future gets here, and we’re still bad and still being told to wait for the future. This is the reality of being a Kansas City sports fan. Your teams will be bad, and the men in charge will try to save their jobs by selling this ridiculous fantasy to the most gullible fans. “Patience, o ye Cananites, suffer five years of calamity, plague and pestilence and I shall deliver endless Super Bowls unto thee…….at a later, unnamed date.”

Someone on this very site recently told me he wouldn’t be satisfied to “just make the Super Bowl once, if it meant we had to suck for three years afterwards.” Are you f*#king kidding me?! We last made a Super Bowl in the 1960s. Pioli somehow hoodwinked half the city into thinking he’d take us there regularly if we just gave him enough time and looked the other way on enough losing seasons. It’s embarrassing. Kansas City is Springfield and he’s the monorail salesman.

Teams that talk about patience and processes are teams that lose. We know this better than anyone. Did Dick Vermeil tell us to be patient? Did Marty Schottenheimer and Carl Peterson?

I’ll field that one: no, they did not. They quickly turned bad teams into good ones. Herm Edwards, Allard Baird, Dayton Moore, Scott Pioli, these are the guys who talk about plans and processes, and how long everything is going to take. That’s loser talk, and we should recognize it by now. We’ve been hearing it from losers, and watching them lose, for the better part of a decade.

This assault on expectations will probably be Pioli and Co.’s final spin attempt. Not their best effort. I suppose I should’ve been managing my expectations for the front office spin as well.

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Scott Pioli’s Chiefs are now breaking 70-year-old records for futility.

I’m not going to say I told you so. To do that, you have to correctly predict something. I didn’t predict this. I have always disliked Scott Pioli personally, and I thought he was mediocre-to-bad at his job, but I never considered him the worst GM in the league. Bottom half, sure, but I thought his “play-it-safe” approach would probably keep us right in that 6-10 to 10-6 range for the rest of his tenure in Kansas City. And I’ve always assumed that tenure would be at least 10 years long. Wrong on both counts. So no, an “I told you so” would most definitely not be appropriate here. Pioli has done worse than I ever thought possible.

I’ll be interested to see how long his supporters will continue making excuses for him. Most of the blame so far seems to have been placed on Romeo Crennel and Matt Cassel, with opinion more divided on Pioli. “He’s put together a good roster,” and “this team has talent,” are phrases oft-repeated. What more can we ask of our GM, right?

Here’s the problem with that line of thinking: this latest collapse could only be a result of a franchise in total disarray. “Changing the culture” is something Pioli has focused on from day one. He cleaned house, brought in “his guys,” put up signs, heightened security, drafted captains, repeatedly changed PR directors, picked up candy wrappers, etc, etc. One might argue he focused more on the culture than the roster. “The Patriot Way” was his blueprint. He was going to install that culture here.

How’s that working out for us? This roster, that is supposedly full of talent, is the worst in the league. When good players play bad, when coaches don’t have them prepared to play, what is that if not a cultural breakdown?

There is no longer any way to shield Pioli from this mess. He hand-picked the QB, he refused to bring in real competition AGAIN, he promoted his NE buddy to head coach, and he signed or drafted most of these players (just not the good ones). After four offseasons, I think we can safely say this culture is of his own creation. And it has failed miserably. Either that, or this roster has far less talent than we thought. Either way, Pioli is the architect of this team’s misery.

It’s been clear to me for some time that our general manager learned all the wrong lessons from his time in New England. He thought he could import that way of doing things and the rest would take care of itself, even without Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. He also thought he had earned the right to take things slow, and that we shouldn’t expect too much yet. Serious misjudgements there. They have set this franchise back even further, and will cost him and many of his underlings their jobs (#fireMarkDonovan).

I usually roll my eyes when people talk about changing a team’s culture. The way to create a culture of winning is to, you know, win. And the way to win is to have better players and coaches than your opponents. Not Matt Cassel, not Tyson Jackson, not Brian Daboll. What you need is people who are better than their counterparts on the opposing sidelines.

Jason Whitlock and Kent Babb did a hilarious podcast on Pioli recently. Babb has no reason to stay mum any longer, so they really went to town. Whitlock had a great line, to the effect of “If you don’t have a quarterback, and your defensive and offensive lines are bad, what do you really have?”

That got me thinking about this roster, and how talented it really is. I’m torn here. All three QBs Pioli has brought in are total duds, and his first-round draft picks are contributing very little. Having said that, I was in favor of three of those picks when they were made, and am still interested in those three players (Tin Man being the odd man out, of course).

Our defensive line is one-dimensional at best. We have good linebackers, but Jovan Belcher is well below average as a starter. Brandon Flowers is the only above average defensive back.* Can we seriously say this defense has above average talent? I count four, above-average starters (Hali, Houston, Flowers, DJ). I think most teams could claim as many.

*There are some straight-up clowns in that secondary, ya’ll. You know who I miss? Jerome Woods. There was a safety you could set your watch to.

I would like to believe there is some talent on the offensive line. I don’t think we need major changes there, anyway. But it would be hard for me to call any of those guys significantly above average. Some fine players, no world-beaters. Bowe is good, Charles is good. That’s pretty much it, right? When your QBs are this bad, and you only have two good skill position players, is that above-average talent?

I realize this team should be better than 1-6, but anyone thinking about playoff victories this season was kidding himself all along. We don’t have top 10 talent, and we never did.

I’m not saying I saw this meltdown coming. I’m just saying, maybe we could have? There were certainly signs. Both Romeo Crennel and Brian Daboll had done their current jobs before and been bad at them. Is borrowing heavily from the Browns ever going to lead to success? I mean seriously, why don’t we just start a basketball team and bring in the late ’90s Clippers?

We knew Cassel wasn’t good; we knew Quinn wasn’t good; we knew D-Bowe was unhappy; we knew the rookies were unlikely to contribute much this season; we knew Berry, Moeaki and Charles might not be the same; we knew we had no defensive coordinator; we knew our defense was geared toward stopping the run despite this being a pass-heavy league; we knew Brian Daboll had failed twice; we knew Peyton Hillis had averaged a Thom Jones-esque YPC his last three years; and, perhaps most importantly, we knew this very team had been bad last year. A sub-.500 record this season was always a distinct possibility, whether we wanted to see that or not.

Of course, there were reasons to be optimistic about the roster if you were willing to ignore the quarterback position. The aforementioned good linebackers, replacing Barry Richardson with Pioli’s first-ever, big-ticket free agent, a seeming plethora of offensive weapons.* You didn’t have to squint too hard to see a solid team there. Again, minus the quarterback position.

*You guys should’ve seen Jon Baldwin in camp. So amazing! And the Chiefs were so happy to tell us about it, too. Definitely didn’t have anything to do with that Bowe holdout though. Why would you even think that? What, just because this player you were repeatedly told was incredible has 14 catches in seven games? Come on, guys, it’s a coincidence. Jeez, you act like this team has a history of deceit or something.

So what is this team’s real talent level? I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter at this point. However talented or untalented they are, Scott Pioli’s culture has turned them into the worst team in the league. Sweet irony. The one thing he thought he had a perfect handle on is actually his greatest weakness, and will be his undoing.

The Pioli Way: a culture of winning minus the wins.

Nice to see you again, Addicts. It’s been far too long. Seems fitting that another terrible effort by the men upstairs is what’s brought me back. They haven’t exactly been killing it this last decade, have they?

I tried to walk away and become a casual fan. Couldn’t do it. Not through another year of this nonsense. You see what you’ve done, Pioli? Nobody wanted this.

As you can probably guess, I got a massive kick out of the banner that flew above Arrowhead a few Sundays ago. I’ll be buying those responsible a round of libations if ever our paths should cross. In my book, the Book of Big Matt — or BoBM, if you will — the Save Our Chiefs movement is deserving of vast praise. As are the men and women donating to the cause, including my boy Whitlock.

What I didn’t see coming, but perhaps should have, was the explosion of self-righteous anger directed at those who have dared take action to show their frustration.

This is, by far, my least favorite part about being a Chiefs fan. It’s worse than the losses; infinitely worse. No matter how bad this team gets, no matter how often we’re lied to, no matter how much of our coin Lil’ Clarkie stuffs into his pockets, we’re supposed to smile and thank them for it. Do anything else and your fanhood, and in many cases your character, will be called into question. This will be done by fans looking to use you to illustrate how correct their behavior is. The implication being that if you were more like them, you would not only be a better fan, but a better human being as well.

I’m going to cite a very specific example here: how many of you have read comments saying the money collected for the infamous banner, and future such efforts, should instead be given to charity? If you’re like me, you’ve seen that comment roughly 200 times in the last three weeks. I recently read someone on the AA Facebook page saying the fans responsible should ”donate the money to the charity of Matt Cassel’s choice, sign up for anger management classes and and maybe read ‘how to stop being a raging a-hole.’” Take THAT, people attempting to facilitate positive change through legal means! This comment got 18 likes. 18 likes for the suggestion that these fans are “raging assholes” who should take anger management classes.

What those 18 people, and others like them, were saying is that you don’t have a right to spend your money how you please if it conflicts with their belief system. You want to fly a legal, profanity-free banner saying things I disagree with? How DARE you?! What a terrible person you must be!

The banner used no wording that was anywhere close to offensive. It called for the firing of a GM with a .400 winning percentage and the benching of a QB who led the league in turnovers. The @saveourchiefs twitter feed is PG-rated. What, exactly, is so inflammatory about any of this? Why are these people being criticized?

Unless you’re willing to criticize everyone for all recreational spending, you should probably shut up about the banner, future banners, and the character of those involved with the Save Our Chiefs movement. People work hard for their money, and have as much right to spend it on this as you have to spend it on nice meals, air conditioning, wireless internet, alcohol, movies, your computer, your clothes, your car, your phone, your TV, your bed, decorations for your house, or any of the other luxuries we all work to provide ourselves.

Seriously, where is the line here? If you’re telling people money spent on the banner should’ve been given to charity, can I follow you around and point out the extra money you spend on things every day?

“Did you have desert with that meal? You know you could’ve given that money to charity, right?”

“Did you donate to a politician you believe in? Why did you do that, when you could’ve given that money to charity? What, were you trying to exercise your rights and give yourself a voice? Not cool, bro.”

“What did you say your rent was, $800/month? You could’ve gotten a $500/month place and donated the savings to charity. I find your desire to improve your living conditions repugnant.”

“You know you can make your own detergent, right? That would save you about $10/month. I’m just sayin’, that money could be going to charity.”

“Whoa, man, you bought season tickets to the Chiefs this year? Haven’t you ever heard of charity?”

Allow me to burn this straw man before any of you can attack it: I am in favor of charitable donations.`I’m sure most of the people who contributed to the banner are as well. People can donate to charity, and spend money on luxuries of their choosing. This is how normal humans operate.

How about we all just react to this latest train-wreck in our own way, and let others do the same. Is that so hard? If you’re happy with this product, how this team represents us, the money we pay them and where it ends up, that’s fine. I might not understand you, but I’m not going to tell you your reaction isn’t valid. You’re obviously in this for different reasons than me, and that’s fine too. Some people fish to eat, some fish for fun. I eat at Long John Silver’s. We’re all fishermen.

Everyone roots for this team in their own way. When the team performs poorly, some of us get angry at those responsible. If you don’t, cool, but don’t tell us we can’t. If this were the American Revolution, you would most definitely be the Tories. And as we all know, nobody liked the Tories. They went extinct, if I’m not mistaken.

Final point: I’d like to declare a moratorium on use of the term “real fan.” A fan is something anyone can choose to be, and they don’t need anyone else’s permission or approval to make that choice. Anyone who wants to call himself a Chiefs fan is one. We shouldn’t be turning anyone away at this point.

Cassel in ’13!

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Greetings, Internet friends. It’s been a while since we chatted here. I’ve been busy lately with regular life stuff I won’t bore you with, but our newest draft class has never been far from my mind. And since I’ve gotten a couple emails from readers (friends and relatives) wanting to know my thoughts on the draft, I thought I’d put pen to paper, as it were*.

*Note: I don’t write on Mondays when Paddy and I do AA Radio Sunday. It’s an either/or. Trust me, you people don’t want to be seeing me more than once a week. 

I’m still a Poe boy; nothing has changed there. But from what I can tell, my reasons for being a Poe Boy differ from some of yours.

“He’s a Chief, let’s get behind him!” is a nice sentiment, but shouldn’t factor into objective analysis. ”Gotta trust Romeo” is something I’ve said, about this pick even, but the truth is that although our defense is on the rise, Crennel hasn’t delivered a top-10 unit yet. And in any case, I’m not in the habit of bestowing unconditional trust on men who run sports teams. You know, because I’m from Kansas City?

There are two reasons I really like this pick. The first is that it’s further proof we don’t have Scott Pioli pegged. I like that. My fear with him was always that he was too safe, or risk-averse, or, for lack of a better word, lame. Homerun swings are definitely not lame. Chicks dig the long ball, after all.

But really, I just find this to be a fascinating experiment. I have no idea how it will end. Bust? Maybe. There are concerns. Valid ones. For one thing, I always raise an eyebrow at the concept of “coaching up.” Not that coaches are unimportant, far from it. It’s just that the people already in the industry have a vested interest in the “coaching up” concept, because it assigns credit for success to them, not the players. Because of the high turnover rate among coaches and GMs in professional sports, these guys have to constantly defend their own work. ”We’re gonna coach ‘im up.” Sure. Herm Edwards used to say it, for Christ’s sake.

Still, what happens when you give a defensive coach the best athlete in the draft to fill his last remaining position of need? We’re about to find out. Poe is also a really interesting data point in the widely held belief that the Combine is overrated. Fail or succeed, and we learn a lesson.

I can understand not wanting another D-tackle. Lord knows the Chiefs have whiffed there a time or two. But Poe really isn’t that similar to Ryan Sims, or Tyson Jackson. I like to think of him as more of an Eric Downing 2.0 type.

Kidding. I don’t know what’s going to happen here, but I have this feeling Poe will make Tin Man and Dorsey look like they’re moving through water. I also think he’ll have more sacks than either, even as a rookie. The Chiefs are already referring to him as a three-down lineman. Can you imagine such a thing? A lineman picked high in the first round who doesn’t have to come out on the most important downs? It’s like we just drafted a mythical creature.

Poe excites me. I can’t say the same about the rest of the class. Cyrus Gray and DeQuan Menzie both get an early thumbs up, but it’s tough to expect too much from late-round picks before we’ve even seen them.

Jeff Allen seems like a decent pick, but I can’t help but wonder if Pioli is overvaluing Allen’s supposed versatility. The Chiefs think he can play guard, too. Couldn’t basically any tackle play guard? I mean, failed tackles move to guard all the time. Remember John Welbourn?

Crennel says they just want to play the best five linemen. I applaud that mentality. But if you draft specifically for versatility, you’re not really being flexible, are you? It seems to me most good linemen would be capable of playing a few positions well. I’d prefer to see them pick the best players, and then find a spot for them. Maybe that’s what they’re doing with Allen. But the immediate talk of versatility makes me wonder.

In the end, Allen is a solid lineman, and you can never have too many of those. We do need at least one guy who can step in and do a decent job in case of injury. This was probably a solid pick, but it didn’t wow me.

Donald Stephenson appears likely to follow in the footsteps of Donald Washington. And what I mean by that is I think they’re going to convert him to safety. I know he’s 300 pounds, but I’ve got a feeling.

Even if drafting a potential replacement for Branden Albert is sound planning, I don’t particularly like what it says. I fear Albert may be the next good player to hit the old dusty trail. But perhaps a more likely scenario is that Stephenson simply never becomes a starter.

Devon Wylie makes me wonder how many receivers we’ll carry this season. I’m going to assume D-Bowe is playing for us this year. Baldwin and Breaston are locks. Is McCluster a receiver? Does Terry Copper somehow make this team again? Are Wylie and Junior “Steinbeck” Hemingway in competition for a roster spot? Questions. Questions that need answering. I say we bring in Quinten Lawrence to mentor the whole lot of ‘em. Sure he’s a defensive back for the Dolphins now, but he’s also a former member of Todd Haley’s Core (THC). Methinks a future first-round pick could pry him away and get him back where he belongs.

Last year’s draft class is still my favorite, but to me Poe is unquestionably Pioli’s boldest first-round pick. Fortune favors the bold.  I think it was Jimmy Raye who first said that?

Poe Boys Unite

If you missed my piece on Friday about our top picks last year, I just don’t get you. I mean seriously, were you living under a rock all weekend? Why don’t you stop being such a loser and spend some more time on the Internet?

Just playin’, gang. Hard-hitting fake journalism it was not. More of a discussion, really. Every year, immediately after the draft, I like to line all the picks up in my mind and try to predict who will do what. The way I picture it is with someone (Jesus?) telling me, “you will get three starters from this draft class” and then a light blinks on after three players’ names. And of course, it would never play out exactly as you think. Who will do what? Knowledge that only the years can bring. Forbidden fruit, of a sort.

Think about that 2008 class, for instance. What if, after all those picks were made, someone had told you there were two Pro Bowlers and three additional starters in there? Wouldn’t it have been thrilling to try to figure out who was who? We could never have foreseen Charles’ amazing 2010, or that Brandon Carr would be signing a $50 million deal four years later. And whatever you say now, nobody would have believed Glenn Dorsey would have had only four sacks after 61 starts*.

*Say this for Dorsey, he has been durable. Remember all the concern over his knee? He couldn’t participate in the Combine, right? I vividly recall a shot of him running between cones during the LSU Pro Day with Herm Edwards in the background, nodding like an idiot.

On Friday, we guessed what our top picks in the 2011 draft might do. I moved all in on Allen Bailey and expressed concerns about Jonathan Baldwin. In this, the second part, I’d like to take a look at rounds 4-7. In all likelihood, there is a diamond in the rough somewhere in there. A gift, if you will. A gift to the foes of Mordor…..

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“Your boy Big Matt is a big fan of this draft class!”

-Your boy Big Matt

Sometimes a certain draft class just clicks for you, for whatever reason. Every pick makes sense. You come away feeling great about the players, and are predisposed to liking their play on the field. This was how I felt when the Chiefs picked Junior Siavii…

Kidding. 2005 was the last draft class I really felt that way about. I was thrilled DJ fell to us, I thought trading our second for Pat Surtain was a steal (oops) and picking Colquitt showed ingenuity. I was also high on both Boomer Grigsby and Will Svitek. Some pretty hit-and-miss analysis, admittedly, but that was how I saw things.

Since then, the Chiefs have drafted many good players. A few great ones. But the next five drafts all contained what I viewed as huge mistakes. Croyle in ’06, Turk McBride in ’07, Dorsey in ’08, Tin Man in ’09, McCluster and Arenas in 2010. All high picks that I absolutely hated at the time they were made.

2011 provided no such draft-day eyesores. Baldwin wasn’t a guy I’d been considering, but after that trade back Pioli had carte blanche to play around a little bit in my eyes. And since Baldwin shattered the “right 53″ nonsense, so much the better. After that, I gave every single pick an enthusiastic two thumbs up. Bailey might only have been one thumb actually, but the point is, this was a class that clicked with me. The porridge was just right (which for me means full of fried cod).

Still, what do we really know about these guys, after one year? We can be reasonably certain Justin Houston is going to be very good. We can also be reasonably certain I’m going to count every sack he gets as a personal victory for me and my NORML cronies.

I read an article once, many moons ago, that said of a team’s first three picks, the odds were that one would exceed expectations and excel, one would bust, and one would endure, but not necessarily impress. Obviously every draft class is different, but it was all based on odds over time. A first round pick has ___% of becoming a bust, ___% of becoming a breakout, etc. And the way it worked out, each class was statistically favored to have one player in each of the three categories.

I don’t know how accurate any of this is anymore, if it ever was. These distinctions are all subjective anyway. But I’ve found it a good way to temper expectations when looking at our top picks. It’s also interesting, after picks have been made, to look at the entire class and wonder how the chips will fall. We root for them all, but intellectually, we know half of them will be gone when the smoke clears three years later.

I like to look at picks 4-7 and think, “Which one of you silly bastards is gonna be someone I one day respect greatly?” One long-term starter is a reasonable expectation for the later rounds (Where you at, Shane Bannon?).

Back to the top picks. If we take Houston’s success as a given, that still leaves the 2011 class with a first, second and third round pick. Jonathan Baldwin, Rodney Hudson and Allen Bailey are all question marks at this point. Bailey had a promising finish, Hudson was a pick we all liked, and Baldwin had that one great catch. Still, none of them have proven anything. They could all be stars, or they could all bust.

My question is, if we’re following the methodology I outline, who we do we think is most likely to do what? The exercise requires that we pick one bust, one breakout, and one B student.

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For those of you who can remember Chiefs football from the ’60s, it must sound strange to hear us talk about the ’90s as the halcyon days. After all, we never made it to a Super Bowl in that decade. In 10 years, a team actually has better than 50/50 odds of at least making it. Or they would, if all quarterbacks, coaches and payrolls were created equal.

Regardless, for most of us, halcyon days is exactly what they were.* Our greatest triumphs, our most heartbreaking defeats, our best players, our legendary (or infamous, depending on your perspective) leaders. Wins, wins, and more wins. After the years that followed, the ’90s began to look like the pinnacle of sports fandom. Our team won games? Every year? What an amazing experience that must’ve been!

*Maybe it would be more accurate to think of the ’90s as a quick break from our 40-year rebuilding program. Everyone knows it takes 45 years to really get your people in place, and give everyone a fair chance. If my calculations are correct, the rebuild should be complete in 2015. 

I’m as guilty as anyone of romanticizing that period. I talk about how great Marty was, how much I miss great defense. This is a popular sentiment among Chiefs fans.

And yet, at the time, opinion wasn’t nearly as unanimous. I’m sure we all remember the term “Martyball.” What we may not remember, at least not actively, is that “Martyball” was used as a term of derision at least as often as not. While Marty was here, even in the midst of his heyday, there were many who believed his philosophy was fundamentally flawed. He won many games, but fans lamented that he didn’t win big games. Some few seemed to think this was because of Marty himself, which I’ve always found ridiculous. The idea that his strategy was flawed, however, is an idea we should probably talk about.  Because for better or worse, it’s a strategy we’re about to resurrect.

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I never do this. I never fall in love with the top nose tackle prospect. During draft season I daydream about linebackers, DBs and offensive linemen.* Those are the positions I like to pick high.

*You will never, ever hear me complain about an offensive line pick (not named Colin Brown). True story: I once called in to Metro Sports Talk with Duke Frye to praise Trezelle Jenkins. I then called my friends to brag about it and was shocked to discover they were unimpressed. Come on, junior high friends, this is Duke f#%king Frye we’re talking about here!

Carl Peterson’s obsession with drafting defensive tackles scarred me forever. Sims, Freeman, Downing, Siavii, Tank, Dorsey, these eyes had seen too much. Draft season would roll around and I’d get twitchy, start seeing block eaters in every shadow. As a result, I have never wanted the Chiefs to use a top pick on a defensive tackle. Until now.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you Poe is the best possible pick for us. Maybe he isn’t. There are certainly some valid concerns. His footage and stats don’t blow anyone away, despite the fact that he played in Conference USA. That is troubling. Surely an NFL-caliber nose tackle should’ve had his way with the likes of Rice, UTEP and Eastern Carolina. He did not. So how is he going to fare against the cream of the crop? Not very well, logic dictates.

The attraction with Poe, of course, is that he fills our most glaring need. But I’ve argued in the past that the nose tackle is overvalued in the 3-4. He’s off the field almost half the time, for one thing. And Pioli has given scant attention to the position. Maybe he just hasn’t found his guy yet, but the fact remains, the position has clearly not been a priority for him. Is there a reason for this, other than chance? I believe so. Although I can no longer pretend to guess as to what Pioli is thinking on Draft day.  None of us can. Jonathan Baldwin and Justin Houston proved that.

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The other title I considered was ”Chiefs finally get first-round quarterback” with a picture of Brady Quinn. In the end, I went with the more obvious joke. 

I think we can all agree this is the most exciting free agency of Chiefs GM Scott Pioli’s tenure. Granted, that isn’t saying much, but by any standard this early flurry has been noteworthy. I’ll get to what I think of each move later. Let’s start with the big picture.

Pioli, once again, has switched up his game. His first year he went “bad ‘n boring” in both draft and free agency. In year two his drafting, at least, improved, but I still thought I had him pegged. It was those team captains he was after, and ever would be, thought I. Then the next year he picked Justin Houston and Jon Baldwin, and I had to admit that when it came to the draft, Pioli was actually a bit of a wild card.

His free agent strategy, though, had always remained the same. Set modest goals, avoid top players. An almost exact continuation of the Herm Edwards strategy, oddly enough.

The Chiefs weren’t shy about it, either. About the only thing Pioli didn’t keep secret was his distaste for free-agent spending sprees. That wasn’t the way he did things, wasn’t part of The Patriot Way. He was too smart for that. He was building through the Draft. Drafting and aggressive free agent moves were mutually exclusive, apparently. So the cap room sat there, for three years.

Now here we are discussing a successful Pioli foray into the free agent feeding frenzy. I’ll admit it, Addicts, I never thought I’d see the day. All the “build through the draft” parakeets crowing about free agent signings. It’s a beautiful thing.

What’s really interesting about these moves, though, is that I am now faced with quite the logic-dilemma. I’ve been saying since Pioli got here that he needed to be more active in free agency, and that you could spend big and still spend smart. I’ve also said that when it came down to it, I didn’t think he had the chops to get it done when competing with other teams for players. With one huge signing, Pioli has proven me both wrong and right. Wrong about him, right about free agency.

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It’s pronounced “thermometer.”

-Cosmo Kramer

There is no such thing as an unimportant Chiefs offseason. Every year since Pioli got here, we’ve all talked about how key the current offseason is. And it’s always been true, right? This early in a GM’s career, every year represents such a large percent of his body of work. What are we talking about, when we talk about Pioli? 2009, 2010, 2011. Nothing that came before matters. Not really.

The problem is, those three offseasons don’t paint a clear picture yet. 2009 was god awful, we all know that. Some want to assign Pioli a mulligan, obviously I don’t, but regardless, it was bad.

2010 and 2011 brought interesting drafts and uninteresting free agency. Results we can live with. His gains through free agency have remained modest, as have his goals. You can’t hit a home run while laying down a sac bunt. Although, to be fair, you can move that runner over.

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I could live with Matt Cassel as our starter this year.

There, I said it. And it’s true! It’s not that I think Cassel is good, or even that I like him. I don’t, and I don’t. Seems like a decent guy I guess; I’ve got nothing against him. He’s looked kinda good at  times, and really bad at others. The ceiling isn’t very high.

My QB of choice would be Peyton Manning. I’d definitely get pretty excited about Paddy’s boy Bob Griffin. Even Kyle Orton* would probably be an upgrade. I’m just saying, I won’t be lambasting the Chiefs if Cassel is the man in 2012.

*If you remember nothing else about Orton, remember this: mercurial AA quarterbacks expert Jackie Rubbinson is a big fan. So that’s something. I mean he’s no Chris Mortenson, but….

Would it be lame? Of course it would. Trotting Cassel out there for another year is the definition of lame. And if it goes down like that, it would mean there is at least a chance all this QB noise from 1 Arrowhead Drive is pure PR. That too would be the definition of lame. This team has done so many lame things recently, and I’m usually pretty quick to get on their case about it. Surely another year of Cassel would bring down my righteous keyboard wrath. I mean thats classic Big Matt, right?

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If you listened to AA Radio last night (which every single one of you did, obviously), you know your boy Big Matt has got a serious case of Manning Fever. I tried to remian aloof, but am no longer able. Fear of losing draft picks has been my inoculation to the RG III virus, but no such cure to Manning Fever is available.

I guess this means I have to quietly get off my “three more years of Cassel” bandwagon. Not sure who’s gonna drive that thing now. As far as I know there were no other passengers. And even I was only there for a confusing, low-yield joke. If anyone wants to take over conducting that train, I’ll be happy to give you the keys. Warning: you’ve got some serious coal-shoveling ahead of you, and I think the caboose is haunted. Also its been a long time since any of the turlets worked properly.

Fever or not, I find it hard to believe this fantasy becomes a reality. Of course, we have the money. And Clark Hunt finally seems to realize that the natives are restless and he has to spend some of it. So actually, I don’t think he’s going to be the problem here.

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photo by The Centaur, FJH

I, like most of you, have spent an inordinate amount of time in my life thinking about the KC Chiefs. I’ve been alive for three decades, and I think it would be accurate to say I’ve been closely following them for a full two. I may not have seen many playoff victories in that time, but the Chiefs have still provided me a rich history to draw from. So many memories. Endless memories, really.

Remember Benny Thompson acting like he was a dog peeing on a fire hydrant? Remember Marcus Allen as “Mufasa” and Greg Hill as “Simba”? Remember Chester McGlockton dumping a live ball behind his head as he trotted out of bounds? Remember Sean LaChappelle?

I could go on forever. We all could. So many players, so many laughs, so many tears. This is the first in a series of posts I’ll be doing this offseason, in which we revisit interesting moments and times from the Chiefs’ recent history.  I’ll be attempting to find current relevance in these glimpses of the past, although that will probably be a bit of a reach sometimes. This is mainly about remembering.

So come along, friends, and hop aboard (Ghost voice) Big Maaaaaaatt’s Tiiiiiiiiime machiiiiiiiine……….

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So…..Brian Daboll. I think it’s safe to say this is not what most of us had in mind. It’s like we went to a magic show, and instead of pulling a rabbit out of a hat, the magician pulled out another hat.

I won’t lie, I was pissed off when I first heard about Daboll’s hiring. Another New England guy with a track record of failure away from Belichick? Did we really just make that hire? Is this sandwich too old to eat? Such were my thoughts when I learned of Daboll.

I’m still not wild about the hire, obviously, but my feelings have mellowed a bit. My esteemed colleague Mr. Graverson delivered his usual optimistic perspective (complete with stats) earlier today, so you should go shout him a holler if you haven’t already. AA QB expert Jackie Rubbinson has made the case that Daboll was actually somewhat of a risk-taker last season with Miami. That was good to hear. If he wasn’t scared to attack with Matt Moore, maybe he won’t be scared to do so with Cassel either. For most of the past five years our offense has been like a kid who can’t wait to give the bully his lunch money. If Brian Daboll is able to change that, even if it results in a few more picks, he’ll have a friend in Big Matt.

Still, it is frustrating. The Chiefs had a chance to thrill, and instead they went right back to that New England recycle bin. The “Patriots West” meme used to be kind of a joke. There is no longer anything remotely funny about this. Familiarity is, by far, the  most important thing to Pioli and company when adding to the brain-trust. I can’t say I find that to be a very encouraging thought.

Think of it this way: was Brian Daboll the best candidate out there? Like, of all the coaches available, was he the best possible choice? If not, this “familiarity first” policy, like a lot of what the Chiefs do, is counterproductive.

Daboll is similar to Pioli, in a way. I don’t mean personally, of course, since I know little about his personality yet. I’m talking about performance, results and excuses. Both have been at their current level of employment for three years, and by the most objective measures, have achieved below-average results. Pioli’s Chiefs are 21-29; Daboll’s offenses have ranked an average of 28th. On the surface, both of these men have been bad at their jobs.  In order to paint a different picture, we need to make excuses for them.

Some of you undoubtedly bristled when you read the word “excuses.” Before you put on your “I’m angry and I have bad grammar” pants, hear me out. Excuses can be valid. In both Pioli and Daboll’s case, the excuse-du-jour is how bad their teams were before their arrival. And it’s true: the Chiefs were awful before Pioli came to town, and the Browns’ offense was bad before Daboll.

Here’s the thing, though, about the “he took over a bad team/unit” excuse: it doesn’t say anything positive about the man in question. All it does is mitigate the negative. If you’re trying to argue that someone is good at their job, it should take a lot more than “things were also bad before he got here.”

In Daboll’s case, all that excuse tells us is that he failed where other men failed. Hardly a ringing endorsement. In Pioli’s case, apologists are still referencing the 2008 team as a reason we don’t have depth in 2012. The word “rebuilding” was used in the comment section of my post last week. It’s Pioli’s fourth year on the job, and people are acting like he hasn’t had enough time to find a backup QB who can throw a spiral, a right tackle who isn’t the worst lineman in the league, or a backup safety who will have more tackles than facepalms. The excuse-train runs off the tracks pretty easily, I guess.

I mean really, how simple is it to come up with semi-plausible excuses? Crazy-simple.* My worst employee recently told me she thinks someone put a curse on her and her girlfriend. This was her way of explaining away her own incompetence. Mark Donovan, if you’re reading this, feel free to put that one in your back pocket. My gift to you. I know you prefer the indignant route, but it’s always good to have options.

*Let’s try a little exercise here.  You reference a terrible decision or player from the Chiefs’ past, and I will make up an excuse. I challenge you to come up with a gaffe I can’t cover for. No Herm stuff though. I refuse to do that, even in jest.

Back to Daboll. This move didn’t just generate a “love it or hate it” response. Equally prevalent is the “let’s just wait and see” attitude. I’ve been seeing this a lot lately in the Chiefs webosphere. I don’t want to rag on the mindset, as its proponents are nearly always rational, respectable commenters. And of course, there is truth in this perspective. We don’t know for sure if this was a good move yet; we can’t. But this is what sports-talk is about: opinions, and the reasoning behind them. We don’t know yet, so we go with what we have. If we’re smart, we realize we may be wrong. If we’re dumb, we know for a fact we’re right. Either way, it’s perfectly acceptable to have an opinion before you know all the facts, as long as your mind is flexible enough to change when new facts come along.

Easier said than done? Definitely. But this is how we live our lives. I don’t know for a fact that I would hate the movie One For The Money, because I haven’t seen it. The fact that Katherine Heigl’s smile makes me cringe is enough to tip me off that in this case, this is probably not a movie I would enjoy. Do I have to watch the movie start to finish to figure that out? Do I have to touch a stove every time I turn it on to figure out it’s hot?

Fortunately, Brian Daboll can’t possibly be as bad as Katherine Heigl. In fact, if you look only at his time in Miami, he seems like a guy who has upside. I no longer find myself upset about this hire. Annoyed would be a more accurate word. And even that isn’t necessarily because I think he’ll be bad. Expectations are very low; he could easily meet them. If our offense is even in the top 20, I think we’ll all be satisfied, and our team will probably be pretty good.

I’m just annoyed, like a lot of people, that Scott Pioli doesn’t seem to be able to get past this Patriots imitation. He just keeps adding their castoffs, and scratching his head when it doesn’t work. Meanwhile the two men responsible for New England’s success are still there. And the one person we really need to understand that is the only one who hasn’t yet figured it out.

Let’s just cut to the chase here. Unless you guys want to hear about my hilarious adventures over the weekend?  See, there was this dinner party, and I couldn’t keep my zipper up……

Clark Hunt

You all know how I feel about Clark Hunt.  My opinion hasn’t changed.

But let’s take opinion out of this for second and look only at what Clark Hunt has done in comparison with other owners.  Because that’s what we need to do if we want to assign him a grade.  Obviously this isn’t a leader who can inspire confidence.  His personality is wooden, his soundbites are sleep-inducing, and he has no connection whatsoever with his team’s fan base.  I’ve literally never seen a less charismatic public figure.  But does that matter?  Maybe not.

Obviously it would be nice to have a likable owner, but none of us would worry too much about that if the team was good.  So if we want to assign Hunt a grade, it should be based not on his personality (or lack thereof), but on how well he performs his duties as owner.

And what are those duties, exactly?  His apologists would like you to believe an owner’s only duty is to sign a GM.  According to them, Hunt should be given an A+ on that front because Scott Pioli seemed like the best candidate at the time.This perspective is flawed on several fronts, the first and most obvious being the actual performance of the team since Scott Pioli took over.  Hunt only scores points for signing Pioli if Pioli succeeds at his job. So far, he has not. Was the right hire still the right hire if it was the wrong hire?*

*According to Scott Pioli, yes, actually, this is true. see Haley, Todd

You don’t get credit for making the choice that seemed right, you get credit for making the choice that was right. Hunt interviewed the most obvious candidate, was delighted to discover he was a like-minded penny-pincher, and pulled the trigger. In true Chiefs fan fashion, we dismissed all potential problems and assumed Hunt had made a slam-dunk hire. Three years later, Pioli’s Chiefs are 21-28.  Can an intelligent brain really come to the conclusion that Hunt gets an A in 2011 for a sub-.500 hire he made in 2009? I’m sorry, but that’s crazy talk.

Still, the Hunt apologists are correct, in a way. There isn’t much an owner is supposed to do.  Choosing a GM is one aspect. But even that is only done at most once every few years. The other aspect, which more often than not is the only thing an owner really has to do, is spending enough to keep his team on an even playing field. And in this aspect Hunt, as ever, has been woefully inadequate.

Make excuses for him if you like, but there is no getting around the fact that every year we spend less than about 30 other teams. Pioli says Hunt has never refused to spend on a given player, and maybe that’s true. But if you’re naive enough to think that tells the whole story, then I just may know a Nigerian prince who could use your assistance.

Hunt talked openly in an October interview about instructing Pioli to manage the cap prudently. This when the team was more than $30 million below the cap, and hadn’t sniffed the ceiling since Lamar passed away. And Clark is instructing him to “manage the cap prudently?” I ask you, what is he really saying there?

I’m going to leave adjectives like “greedy” and “cheap” out of this. In his six years of ownership, Hunt has spent considerably less than his peers, and his team’s record is 36-62. He clearly places profit above winning. That might not make him a bad person (although yeah, it kinda does), but it definitely makes him a bad owner.  Final Grade: F

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Two weeks ago, in those heady days of early January Before Babb’s Bounty (B-Cubed), I was grading the Chiefs.  My plan was to tackle the offense last week and spend this week ranting about Clark Hunt and Scott Pioli.  Kentucky Babb’s delicious dish stalled the process a bit.  So we’ll just have to wait until next week to give Pioli his dap for the sweet deal he got on Darryl Harris (one word: substance).

This week I grade the offense.  Naturally, you can expect them to score quite a bit worse.

Bad offense is as much a part of  our identity as good defense.*  Vermeil rocked the boat for a few years, but Herm Edwards was able to dismantle that juggernaut within a year.  Since then, it’s been a parade of bad quarterbacks and scared play calling.  In 10 years, will we look back on Bill Muir and Tyler Palko as rock bottom?  I don’t know, for me that was probably Mike Solari and Brodie Croyle.  Muir and Palko are like a poor man’s version.

*I refuse to believe this is because of bad quarterback play.  The real culprit?  We needed bigger backs!

Regardless, our offense was bad this year.

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Note: this post is part 1 of a point-counterpoint between optimistic Chiefs scholar Lyle Graverson and Pulitzer Prize-winning fake journalist Big Matt Finucane. The subject matter is Kent Babb’s brilliant piece in The Star yesterday regarding the work environment in the Chiefs front office. Read that article. I mean, I’m sure you already have, but read it again. 

“A great moment in coaching.”

That quote tells quite a story. We’re fresh off yet another losing season, one rife with failures by the men in control of this franchise. They’re being skewered, rightfully, for the counterproductive way they run the front office. And the team president is so tone-deaf he’s bragging about the GENERAL MANAGER OF THIS TEAM finding a candy wrapper on the floor and obsessing over it for a week.* He calls it “a great moment in coaching.” This, after the Chiefs were just forced to fire their actual coach mid-season.

*Can you imagine Pioli displaying that candy wrapper in triumph? What did he say? Was he smiling? How hard did the staff laugh at him after he left the room? 

Donovan may seem like small potatoes, but the fact that Pioli forced Denny Thum to resign so he could promote this guy is heartbreaking to me. Thum was with the team for 36 years. They went through his call log and then unceremoniously forced him out the door. A good man forced out to make room for a company man.

But hey, the results speak for themselves, right? From Donovan’s bio on the Chiefs site:

With the Chiefs, Donovan has leveraged his 12 years in the National Football League to bring an organization-wide focus on improving the fan experience through improved customer relations; expanded relationships with radio and television broadcast partners; and a transformation of kcchiefs.com to the foremost online destination for Chiefs information.

Customer and media relations are listed as his accomplishments? What is this, a joke? There is no team in the league doin’ it worse on either front. And that last part is all kinds of hilarious. Almost as funny as “establishing the stadium as a major player in the national sports and entertainment scene.” Or how about “under Donovan’s leadership, Arrowhead will once again host concerts with tour stops for both Kenny Chesney and Taylor Swift slated for 2011.”

Impressive. Most impressive.

Further up and further in, after the jump:

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We had some technical issues with the podcast today and, unfortunately, are unable to re-record.  We’re going to have to postpone this one. I won’t bore you with the technical details, but suffice it to say that Paddy and I are very upset to have missed this opportunity. That article fell so perfectly into our laps…..

Alas, life has given us lemons. We’ll be back at you before too long to make lemonade.  Apologies to Victor Wishna, who will be joining us the next time we record.

It occurred to me the other day that amidst all the HC/OC/DC/IWWA excitement around here these last few weeks, nobody at AA had yet continued our boy Whitlock’s tradition with a Chiefs report card.

I used to really look forward to Whitlock’s annual grades.  Not because they were accurate (although they were, for the most part).  It was just so much fun to read.  The entire roster, a smart little paragraph about each player.  Guaranteed to make you laugh a few times.  That article was a Chiefs gold mine every year.

I’ve been referred to as a poor man’s Whitlock (actually I believe the exact wording was “dumbsh*t Whitlock wannabe”).  So in true poor man fashion, I’ll be breaking this up into separate posts.  This week is the defense.  Because Lord knows we all love that defense.  Offense will be next week, and coaches, front office and ownership the week after.  Really licking my chops for that one, obviously.

Note: Expectations and contract do play into these grades.  Performance is obviously the most important aspect, but it has to be framed.  Amon Gordon has a higher grade than Glenn Dorsey, for instance.  That isn’t because I think Amon Gordon is better.  It’s because he was picked up off the street to be a backup, whereas Dorsey was drafted 5th overall to be the cornerstone of our defense.  I guess you could say we’re grading on a slight curve. 

Report card for the defense after the jump:

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We always want to believe we’re right, but we ain’t none of us perfect.  My yearly IWWAs are a recognition of that.  For this, the fourth annual IWWAs, I got a little help from my friends.  This way those of you who don’t believe I could ever be wrong about anything can skip my section and move on to the rest of the staff.  Or, for those of you who Internet-hate one of us, take delight in watching the object of your hatred participate in the ceremonial eating of crow.

We’d also like to hear your biggest IWWAs in the comments.  This is a healthy process.  We will emerge stronger, and smarter.  Much like Barry Richardson will, after one more year of development.  B-Rich in ’12!

Big Matt

1) I thought the insanity would stop with Thom Jones.  I was wrong.  Sometimes coaches just like bad players.  If following KC sports has taught me anything, its that.  Vrabel, Yuni, Willie Bloomquist, Dexter McCleon, Ross Gload, Kyle Davies, Larry Johnson, Mike Brown (QB of the defense!), there really is no point in continuing this list.  It’s a mile long.  Bad veterans who the people of Kansas City have been told are good.  Why?  That bizarre combination of age, intangibles, and affordability that this city’s sports leaders have always loved so well.

Jones, though, is the worst.  He averaged 3 yards per carry this year and led our team in carries.  There is no excuse for that.  I knew he’d get his touches this year, Jones ALWAYS gets his touches no matter how bad he is.  This is not his first season averaging under 4 per carry.  It’s his seventh.  In fact, his career average is a tick under 4.

Still, I assumed after last season that nobody would be crazy enough to feature him.  I was wrong twice, because both our head coaches did just that.  Thomas Jones is this century’s Rasputin.  Discuss.

2) I thought Wallace Gilberry would have a breakout year.  I was wrong.- I love pass rushers and loathe block eaters.  So naturally, Wally Gilby is my boy.  His production dipped this year, which was disappointing.  But then again, his PT seems to have dipped as well.  Gotta stop that run though, right?  After all, if a team can run on you, you’re toast!  Oh, wait…..

Personal misgivings about the D-line aside, this was not the year I’d envisioned from Gilberry.  So yes, I was wrong about him.  I still expect him to sign with a 4-3 team and do very well.  But who will nosh the blocks for that team while Gilberry is showing off with the sacks and the forced fumbles?  Luckily we’re too smart to ever encounter that problem.  LSU Block Skwad: FOUR MORE YEARS!  FOUR MORE YEARS!

3) I thought Haley would insist on starting Studebaker over Justin Houston.  I was wrong.  What an awesome surprise Justin Houston was.  Turns out marijuana users can function in society!  Still, it is illegal.  Better to drink a dozen beers and get yourself out in public, I say.   Smoking this plant at your house is simply too destructive.

In all seriousness, I assumed Haley would give Studebaker the Vrabel treatment and Houston the Studebaker treatment this year.  Since we found out The Student Baker is bad, it was time for him to become the Teacher Baker.   That’s just how Haley rolls, right?

Happy to be wrong here.  Houston was maybe the biggest bright spot of this entire season.

4) I thought Pioli would pick up more locker room leaders in the draft.  I was wrong. We like to give Scott Pioli a hard time around here, and rightly so.  His excruciating pace and sloth-like level of activity are deserving of ridicule.  As are “the right 53″, “substance over sizzle”, and any other junk catch-phrases he and his cronies come up with to justify basement payrolls.

However, his draft this year was downright interesting.  I didn’t think he had that in him.  2010 was a good class, but the focus on the locker room seemed to be par for the course.  The 2011 draft was anything but.  I’m sure this class will take its lumps; the learning curve was already shown to be pretty steep for a lot of them.  Still, I was extremely happy, and surprised, to see Pioli going for talent rather than team captain status.  Turns out he can make exciting picks……if Bill Belichick tells him to.

5) I thought Romeo Crennel’s press conferences would be pretty similar to Todd Haley’s.  Thankfully, I was wrong.  Is it possible those non-answers were Haley’s idea all along?  Surely Pioli encouraged that, right?  Did he wise up and instruct Crennel to provide real answers?  So many questions.  I know some of you don’t care about this stuff, but I want answers!  My attempts to spy on the Chiefs in the past haven’t gone well.  Time for a new disguise.  Do you guys think I could pass as Bill Muir?

6) I thought Todd Haley’s preseason strategy was ridiculous. Way off on that one, clearly.  Did you guys see how much fresher we were after Crennel took over?  We have Haley to thank for that!

The rest of the staff after le jump:

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“Is Muir the best or worst OC, we do not know because anywhere Haley stuck his nose, the picture is distorted.”

-tm1946

I think we can be fairly certain Bill Muir isn’t the best offensive coordinator, but still, this is a money quote from AA mainstay tm1946.  What was pretty obvious last season is even more obvious now: Todd Haley had trouble coexisting with his fellow coaches, and was unable to restrain himself from meddling in the offense.

Haley did have an offensive background, so maybe he was entitled to meddle a bit.  Of course, if you really want to dig into the past to justify the present, you have to be willing to look at Haley’s entire past.  He was gifted a job with the Jets by his father when he was already pushing 30.  His degree was in communications and he’d been a golf pro.  No coaching experience, no scouting experience, no playing experience.  Promoted twice in his first three years while his father was still with the organization.  So if the past is in play here, maybe that “offensive expertise” we heard so much about should be taken with a massive grain of salt.

I digress.  This post isn’t meant to bash Haley.  He’s gone, and very few of us wish him any ill will.  I just mean to say, his tactics make it harder to accurately judge Bill Muir.  We can’t even be totally sure who was calling the plays.  It seemed to me at the time that Haley promoted Muir precisely because it would allow him to control more of the offense.  Either that, or he thought a 104-year-old man with no play-calling experience was the best option.  You tell me which is more likely.

To be honest, I was never really willing to give Muir a chance.  It just felt like Mike Solari all over again.  Chiefs lose a good coordinator, and respond by promoting a confused offensive line coach. Surely this Muir guy was going to be awful.

And he was.  Or at least, the offense was.  But is that is fault?  Does the man deserve another chance?

find out my answer after the jump:

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No, my title isn’t in reference to the Chiefs’ amazing upset win over the Packers. That was definitely magical, but the moment I’m referring to happened before the game even started.

I told them we’re making a change at quarterback, that we’re changing the quarterback and that Tyler [Palko] would not be the starter this week. [Kyle] Orton or [Ricky] Stanzi will be the starter. Which one? I’m not exactly sure yet because Orton has a finger that he has got to work through, and we’ll have to see during the week how his finger is and how he comes along and if he can handle it with that finger. Stanzi is a rookie and if Orton is able to go and can do it, then Orton is going to be the quarterback. If Orton cannot do it, then Stanzi will be the quarterback, and I told the team that today

That quote reached into my soul and called to me. (Cue a whispery female ghost voice. Something like the Lady Galadriel, if she were dead.)

“Follow this man, Big Matt…..he was asked a question, and he answered it……he didn’t lie…..”

Seriously, can we all take a look at how easy that was? Get asked a question, answer it. Fuc*%n’ crazy, right? It’s like he’s not interested in deceiving us. What gives?

Crennel went on to voluntarily offer that he made the decision before consulting Scott Pioli. He said that without being asked. This was a really unexpected breath of fresh air. Like somebody finally cracked a window in the dank, putrid basement the Chiefs have been keeping us in for the past five years.

And what did this heinous leak in the Arrowhead secrecy structure cost the team? Nothing. The players know the score, the fans know the score, and ill feelings in the media instantly dissipate. This is what I’ve been begging for ever since The Patriot Way was installed.

The Chiefs got a big win yesterday. Huge. I’d love to see us win out. The positive vibes that would create around Crennel would be well worth the drop in draft position. But even if we lose the last two, I’ll probably still be behind Crennel as next year’s head coach based on that one answer alone and what it tells me about him.

Get the obvious stuff right, and explain your reasoning. Do those two things, and you’ll find an enthusiastic supporter in Big Matt.

more after le jump:
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Drums, drums in the deep (via newshopper.com)

So much crow.  So many people.

“Pioli and Haley’s relationship is fine.”

“No chance Haley gets fired.”

“These guys play their hearts out for him.”

“Todd Haley is a great coach.”

There is a lesson here.  Allow your personal feelings to influence your judgement, and you risk a shaming.  Those who thought Brodie Croyle had a golden arm?  Shamed.  Those who thought Glenngarry Glenn Dorsey was going to be a “beast”?  Shamed.  Those who thought Thom Jones was a good addition to this team?  Double-shamed.  And those of us who thought Haley was a good coach?  Looks like we’re officially shamed as well.

We all want good things to happen for the Chiefs, but what we want has no bearing on the reality of the situation.  If being a Chiefs fan has taught us anything, it’s that.  We have to recognize the difference between what we want to happen, and what we think will happen.  Because they aren’t the same thing.  With this team, they usually aren’t in the same ball park.

When reading Paddy’s Haley piece last week, I was struck by a remarkable difference between his positives and negatives.  The negatives (immaturity, blowout losses, ridiculous preseason “freshness” strategy, love of awful running backs) are all remarkably clear.  They cannot be argued.  Many have tried.  All have failed.

His positives, on the other hand, are extremely debatable.  The “master motivator” label, which was always dubious, became more laughable with each blowout loss.  Yes, when gifted the NFL’s easiest schedule in the league’s easiest division, Haley led the team to a division title.*  Norv Turner did that three times in five years and nobody is saying he should keep his job.  Last season was fun, no doubt, but backing into the playoffs and getting exposed right off the bat is not a justifiable reason to keep a head coach for another two years.

*The same could be said for Matt Cassel.  Does that make him a good quarterback?

more after le jump:

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Always nice to see our Chiefs win.  I’m not of the opinion that this really changes anything as far as our season goes.  But as I said after we beat Minnesota, it’s important for fans to be able to believe they might see a win.  Knowing your team is going to lose is a confusing, frustrating place to be.  It fosters dark thoughts.  I think we all remember Herm’s magical 2-23 stretch.

I don’t believe the Chiefs will make the playoffs, and most of you probably don’t believe that either.  So in that regard, yesterday’s win would seem to be devoid of actual, practical significance.  But for one man, that is most definitely not the case.

Todd Haley is fighting for his job.  I’m not saying he and Pioli hate each other, and I’m not saying I think he should be fired.*  But if you don’t think he’s at least been on the hot seat this season, you’re wearing some massive blinders.**

*Obviously these things are possibilities and worthy of discussion; they just aren’t my focal point in this post. 

**People have been getting very angry when the media “speculates” as to the relationship between Haley and Pioli.  But then these same people will turn around and insist the relationship is fine, which is just as speculative.  Speculation, as ever, is only allowed when you’re making things up to excuse organizational folly.

Even if Haley’s job is 100% safe, you know he has to have been wondering.  Lose a bunch of games badly and any coach will start wondering.  Job security in the NFL is nonexistent.  And when you’ve got a family to feed, you’re bound to be a little paranoid when any turn for the worst could cost you your job.  I think this is part of the reason coaches and GMs are so willing to lie, make excuses, and resort to pathetic spin.  They have these amazing jobs, but they could be taken away at any time.  That has to be a nerve-wracking situation.

Haley, to his credit, has not shamed himself.  He hasn’t made excuses.  And he’s obviously much more likable than either of his bosses.  Granted, being more likable than Scott Pioli and Clark Hunt is like being more pleasant than a kick in the testes.  Still, there is something to be said for being at least semi-cool when the two guys above you are anything but.  That kind of thing matters to me.

More hang-time with your boy Big Matt after le jump:

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Late November, for most of the past five or six years, has been a strange time to be a Chiefs fan.  A time for reflection, frustration and bewilderment.  A time for realizing that yes, your season is over and no, this will not be the year things change for this team you support.

Do some people quit watching at this point in the season?  I suppose so.  My boy The Centaur called just before AA radio began yesterday to talk about the game.  I told him my watch party was down to two people.  He confided that his was a solo mission.  Couldn’t find anyone willing to bust a Chiefs hang.

So yeah, maybe some fans do quit watching.  I don’t blame them.  The last time I bought a Royals internet package, I quit in July.  But I think the vast majority of us are still tuning in.  Even when the season is essentially over, a Chiefs game is still such an event.  Sunday afternoon remains a sacred time.  We look for individual performance, evaluate young players, and think about how things will be better next year.  We console ourselves in the knowledge that this team is, after all, still rebuilding.

Pardon my Polish, but that’s a bunch of bullshit. Find out why after the skacac:

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As we all know, the Chiefs have dealt with some devastating injuries this year.  To their credit, they have not used this as an excuse, at least not that I’ve heard.  Scott Pioli, in fact, was recently quoted as saying that, “No one else cares about your problems.”  Herm Edwards complained about injuries when he had one of the healthiest teams in the NFL, so it was a real breath of fresh air to see Pioli take the high road when his team actually has lost some of its best players.

Haley, although prone to the occassional idiotic soundbite, is not an excuse-maker generally.  This is probably what I like best about him.  He did come dangerously close to insinuating that the four-game winning streak was due to his ridiculous preseason “freshness” strategy, but the blowout loss to Miami stopped that thought process in its tracks.

Maybe Haley just can’t talk about injuries because of what a dismal failure his injury prevention strategy was.  The whole topic is probably somewhat taboo for him at this point.  And as the season gets uglier, he may be sorely tempted to reach for that excuse in order to save his job.  But I don’t think he will.  At least I hope not.  If/when Haley loses his job, I would at least like my favorite character trait of his to remain intact.

Still, whether or not Pioli and Haley use injuries as an excuse, the PR department most definitely will.  I’m fully expecting to read an article from Josh Looney at some point referencing the Chiefs’ “historic bad luck.”  It will likely come in the form of some sort of seemingly innocuous fun-fact.  “Did you know no team has ever had 3 starters tear ACLs in the first month of the season?  Weird, huh, guys?”  It will sound innocent, but the directive to write that article will have come straight from the top.

And even if Looney doesn’t go there (which he will), the apologist brigade certainly will.  In fact, they already have.

What I’m saying is, Pioli and Haley may not publicly make excuses, and for that they deserve some dap.  Still, the excuse will most definitely be made, on multiple levels.  The question is, just how valid is the injury excuse for this year’s Chiefs?

Your boy Big Matt’s take after the jump:

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‘Nother real bad game in the books, gang.  That makes four so far on the year, and we’ve yet to hit the difficult part of our schedule.  If this season were a game of Mario 3, we’d have lost all our lives before we even got to the Pipe Maze*.

*Remember the Hammer Brother Suit?  God, what a rush it was to don that thing.  Who on the Chiefs should that represent?  My boy Kendrick Lewis?  Could his nickname be “The Hammer Brother Suit”?

Yes, it was an ugly loss, and yes, it is made worse by the fact that the opposing team’s quarterback throws like me after 10 beers and still had a better game than our quarterback.  And now said quarterback is in a cast.

Cassel said he’ll be ready Monday night “unless he’s told otherwise.”  Looks like the Chiefs have found a neat new way to not say anything.  Hey Cassel, are you playing?  “Yes, I am playing.  Unless I’m not.”  Hey Todd, you callin’ plays?  “Yes, unless someone else is.”  Hey Pioli, what the f%#k were you thinking signing Sabby Piscitelli?  “He was a good fit, based on my interpretation of that word, which I will not explain.”  I can only think of one word to describe these guys: straightforward.

Our season had basically just ended, and Pioli’s first move was to go on information-lockdown regarding Cassel.  It was automatic.  Like that, more than anything, is what he knows how to do.  I’m not going to beat this drum again; that isn’t the point of this article.  But man, this team’s media presence depresses me.

On the plus side, the Patriots are probably totally freaking out about who to prepare for, right?  Cassel or Palko, talk about a Sophie’s choice.  Pick your poison, Belichick.  Or just call Pioli and ask him.  Something tells me you’re the one person he can’t lie to.

This is an important week for our GM.  He’d never admit it, but this game means far more to him than any other on our schedule.  Possibly more than any game since he got here, and that includes the playoff game.  Pioli knows he’s living in Bill Belichick’s shadow.  He knows every loss brings him closer to joining Mangini, McDaniels and Weis on the list of high-profile former Patriot failures.  He knows Whitlock and others make jokes about him getting Belichick’s coffee.  And he knows, on some level, that Belichick has been far more impressive than him on draft day these past three years*.  A win against his mentor on MNF, in front of the whole country, is his only way to justify himself this season.  He certainly won’t do it in the playoffs.

*We were all giddy about the trade down that netted us an extra third round pick this year.  That was a choice move for Pioli.  The Patriots had two second round picks and two third round picks in the very same draft, and still picked well before us in the first round.  All because of Belichick’s trading prowess.  This is a man who knows how to pull that trigger.  Pioli is simply not capable of that (nobody was calling).

more after le jump:

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Glenn Dorsey celebrates another block devoured

Gather round Addicts, and I’ll tell you a tale.  The time is 50,000 years ago (about 44,000 years before Jesus’ dad busted out his toolkit and built the universe).  The place is somewhere in Eurasia. 

A tribe of early humans have themselves a dilemma.  Winter is coming, and they’d like to build some shelter.  But they need to build it high enough to avoid being buried by falling snow.  This requires moving a large amount of stone up a sizable hill. 

Luckily, there are two huge, strong men in the tribe.  They can carry stone with the best of them.  Some even say they’re the best stone-carriers in the world, although truth be told, this is a ridiculous claim.  They carry a decent amount.  But the rest of the tribe really loves these guys.  They’ve loved them ever since they showed up.  Both of them came from the same place, actually.  A swamp, a few hundred miles to the South.  They showed up one day, and they were very big.  The tribe loves big people. 

These two guys have a system of stone-carrying they follow that can get enough stone up the hill to build a shelter in three months’ time.  This is the way stone has always been moved, and it always takes three months.  But winter is in two months.  What is the tribe to do?

find out after le jump:

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The Chiefs can’t get to the quarterback. 

That was the difference yesterday.  Matt Cassel isn’t that bad, and Matt Moore isn’t that good.  There were plenty of things that went wrong for the Chiefs, and plenty that went right for Miami.  But when one QB is running for his life and the other has a constant, perfect pocket, the outcome is obvious.

I’m not going to talk about our offensive line today, because I don’t think thats a dire situation.  Barry Richardson is awful, but the line as a group is good enough to provide decent protection most of the time.  What we saw from them isn’t the norm.  And in any case, even if it were, there really isn’t much we could do about it at this point. 

The defensive line is another matter entirely.  What we saw from them was very much the norm.  And I think a possible solution is sitting right in front of our faces.  Find out what it is after the jump:

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So we have some kind of important game tonight, right?  Who is our opponent again?

You’re going to have plenty of Chiefs/Chargers articles to read today, Addicts, so I thought I’d switch things up a bit.  Normally Big Matt Monday focuses on the previous day’s game.  Since there was no game on the lord’s day this week, I’m free to go off the reservation.  What follows is a day-by-day account of the week I spent undercover as a cleaning lady in Clark Hunt’s Texas mansion.

Just kidding.  “Operation: Wipe Clark’s Butt” did not go as planned.  My costume was choice, but when Mrs. Hunt asked me my name I choked and said Junior Siavii.  Things got pretty hairy.  I ended up having to stab one of my fellow cleaning ladies just to create a diversion and get out of there.  Sweet Consuela.  I’ll miss her.  She taught me so much.

I think the Chiefs will win tonight.  Of course, I thought they’d win last season’s playoff game, too.  Whenever the Chiefs look decent, I let myself believe they’re really good.  I’m a sucker that way.  I’ve seen three wins, my brain has me believing the fourth is in the bag.  But this is still the Chargers.  What can I say, it’s going to be a very exciting game.

Sometimes with a game like this on the horizon, I get so keyed up that focusing on anything else (or even eating) becomes difficult.  So I thought it might be nice to take a break from stressing about tonight’s showdown, and take a leisurely stroll through some recent Chiefs history.  After le jump, my list of the best and worst Chiefs personnel moves of the aughts*.

*For the purposes of this exercise, “aughts” will refer to 2001-2010.  Brian Waters was signed in 2000, and I didn’t want to have to include that, while excluding 2010.  I think we can all agree it’s far more interesting to discuss 2010 at this point.  2011, however, cannot be included, as we don’t yet have enough data to evaluate that offseason.

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“They have an excellent relationship. I understand there’s been a lot of focus on that subject. But in the time I’ve been around them, they work very well together. They have a shared vision for the kind of football team they’re trying to build.” -Clark Hunt

So I guess this case is officially closed?

For those who haven’t seen it, C. Montgomery Hunt dropped a few quotes via Teicher in the Star Friday.  The topic of conversation was the relationship between Todd Haley and Scott Pioli.

Hunt doesn’t say anything remotely interesting here, unless you like reading the word “build”*.  I greedily devoured every sentence of course, but the real question is, what does this interview tell us about the perceived Pioli/Haley rift?

*What is this, 2008?  The buzzword now is “fit”, Clark, try to keep up. 

Not much, I’m afraid.  I thought Pioli addressing the rumor was telling, but this is a very different situation.  Hunt has no policy of silence in place.  He’s free to talk to the media whenever he wants, and usually does so at some point during the season.

This interview was granted with PR motives, obviously, but the timing doesn’t indicate that it’s a response to any one specific allegation.  It felt less like damage control and more like the usual milquetoast praise we’ve become accustomed to from Hunt.  In short, there is nothing unusual about him discussing this situation.

I could make light of a few of the quotes, but I’d be nitpicking.  There is no real foot-in-mouth here.  I do want to discuss one portion though:

“Scott has done an excellent job,” Hunt said. “His primary responsibility as general manager is to identify and sign talented football players. I think we’ve done that really the three different ways you can do that. We’ve identified good players to draft. We’ve filled some very important holes on the roster through free-agency. We’ve also re-signed our talented young football players.

“That’s one of the most exciting things about the Chiefs, and being a fan of the Chiefs, is that we have a whole lot of very talented young players who are going to be around for many years, and we can continue to build the team around them.”

Quotes addressed after le jump:

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If you’ve been a Big Matt reader for long, you probably know I think Todd Haley’s “quarter of the season” concept is, for lack of a better word, dumb.   It’s not that I think it’s doing any harm, but I still cringe every time I hear him reference it.  I had thought this was something he’d talk about in his first year, and then grow out of.  I mean, breaking a season into quarters when the games come every week?  What is that supposed to accomplish?  It is, at best, a pointless exercise.

But hey, if Haley is going to bring this team back from the abyss, I’ll play along.  Because I don’t care that we’re playing awful teams here, three wins in a row is something I never thought I’d see from this team after those first two games.  And really, no matter how bad Kyle Boller is, going into Oakland and shutting them out is awesome.  Much-needed revenge, after last season.  So fine, we’re 2-0 in the second quarter of the season.  Or, the “4-game season” as Haley now likes to call it.  Bring on game 3.  I am now participating in this system.

The best part about this winning streak is that the players will be gaining confidence regardless of who the opponent was.  Do you think when Kendrick Lewis scampered into the end zone he was thinking, “Yeah, but this was against the worst quarterback in the NFL”?  No way!  He was feelin’ it, and rightfully so.  I would imagine the post-game celebration was jubilant, and I seriously doubt anyone was referencing how bad Oakland’s QB situation is right now.

“Justice is blind,” as the saying goes.  Well, I think confidence is blind as well.  Winning feels awesome, no matter whom you beat*.  These Chiefs have won three in a row, they’re fired up, and they’re heading back home with a chance to stake a claim on the division lead.  That’s what matters most about this winning streak, not who we played.

*I played in a gigantic rooftop washers tournament over the summer.  My partner and I, after an early loss, went on a crazy tear to win the thing (double elimination).  7 straight games, or some such.  Most of these were against people who hadn’t played nearly as much washers as I have.  Some were even against guy-girl teams (always doomed to struggle in competitive washers).  Did that matter to me?  Hell no.  I felt like a washers god out there.  Struttin’ around, mocking my opponents, bowing like a Japanese sensei every time I put one in the cup.  I was confident that whomever I played next, I would be able to beat.  That’s what a winning streak, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, can do for you.  And yes, this is the closest comp I could come up with from my own life.

Now we go home thinking we can beat a team that’s had a stranglehold on the division for a long time.  Maybe the Chargers are better than us.  But we’re at home, and we think we can beat them.  That alone gives us a fighting chance.  Such a quick turnaround.  De NFL be crazy, mon.

game notes after le jump (more…)

Two reports denied by the Chiefs brass in two days.  Pardon me for saying so, but I love this stuff.  As an East Coast fake media elite and eager student of NFL front office politics, news like this is my bread-and-butter.  I might not be “qualified to discuss football” or “someone you’d want around your children,” but I am pretty damn good at detecting deceit.  This is why you keep a Big Matt on staff.  This, and for an endless supply of stupid nicknames (see Barry “Stink” Richardson).

Before we really delve into the recent rumors, I think its important that I, and everyone else, admit that we don’t know for sure whether they’re true or false.  Sounds elementary when discussing rumors, but it seems like people forget that sometimes.  This isn’t about what we know, it’s about what we think.  All we can do is make educated guesses, defend them, and wait for conclusive evidence to drop.  In most cases, it doesn’t.

Gretz’s rumor about the sale of the stadium naming rights is something of an aberration in that respect.  Either the naming rights will be sold, or they won’t.  No grey area here.  If the rights are sold, Gretz was right.

The Chiefs, predictably, were indignant when he broke the news.  Check out this pissy almost-denial by team president Mark Donovan:

“There’s no basis in fact,” Donovan said. “Not sure where the blogger is getting his information, but there is no announcement planned.”

Chiefs 1, Speculators nothing.

Pioli: I like the cut of Donovan’s jib.  Who needs Denny Thum and his 36 years with the team?  This guy knows the company line!  Did you see how he combined smug with righteously indignant?  How he refused to directly answer questions?  Did you see the entitlement?  All while lying!  This guy has it all. 

Hunt:  Agreed.  Fire a low level employee and give his entire salary to Mark Donovan.  Call it a “disrespecting the media” bonus. 

Donovan’s quasi-denial, combined with the purposely vague “nothing is imminent.  No announcement is planned” line from an unnamed official that same day, should be looked at as a firm denial by the Chiefs.  If they come out accusing a reporter of lying, they’d better not be lying themselves, right?  So the naming rights haven’t been sold?

Look closer.  That language is hardly definitive.  “No announcement planned” is the type of thing they can say is true no matter what happens.  Even if negotiations are all but complete, it could technically be true that no announcement is planned.  And “imminent” is a word the Chiefs can define themselves.  Even Donovan’s “no basis in fact” line….is that really a denial?  The Chiefs front office is doing what they always do: attacking the credibility of the media while providing no information whatsoever.  This is their public relations strategy.  It helps them win football games, apparently.

more after le jump:

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This is maybe my least creative post title of all time.  I REALLY hate the “____, ____ and ___ ___ ____” title format you see plastered all over the blogosphere these days.  It’s designed to bring in Google hits, which is an unbelievably lame way to write.  Sports blogging, though, is becoming less about writing and more about search engine optimization (SEO).  You can thank the big networks for that.  They actually employ people whose job it is to push SEO.  In other words, to make writing worse.  You might as well get a job burning books.

So yeah, sorry about the lazy headline.  I got back from a tour with local indie/pop legends The ACBs at 4 a.m. last night*, and I have no brain cells to spare for titles.  I want to talk about three players.  So let’s just do that.

*In addition to my duties as fake journalist, for about four days per year I also function as a fake roadie. 

We’ll start with Bowe.  I don’t have anything new to say here, really.  D-Bowe is an amazing player, and he always has been.  He can do things no other player I’ve ever seen can do.  He’s dropped some big passes in his day, and he’ll probably drop some more.  Nobody is allowed to complain about that anymore.

I know some of you are turned off by Bowe’s personality.  I don’t getcha, man.  He’s good-natured, funny and vibrant on a team whose leaders try desperately to deprive us of all three of those traits.

I’ve loved many Chiefs players over the years, as we all have.  Mike Mazlowski, Kimble Anders, Dale Carter, James Hasty and Brandon Flowers all have marble busts in my mental hall of heroes.  Bowe has a full-body gold statue.  Never has a player brought me so much joy.

The “hail the glorious leader” crowd loves to attribute Bowe’s success to Todd Haley’s famed (within Chiefs Nation only) prowess as a motivator.  That seems like a reach to me considering Haley’s motivational results have been a mixed bag at best.  But then, I guess some of you don’t see it that way.  The players who do well were motivated by our coach, the players who don’t……

Look, I know some of you are desperate to give Todd Haley credit for anything positive that happens.  He certainly takes blame when things go wrong, so maybe thats just part of the balancing act.  But in this case I feel like the player is getting shortchanged.  Can we really give a coach credit for circus catches and ridiculous YAC?  Did Haley teach D-Bowe to do any of the things that make him great?

Dwayne Bowe will go down as the greatest receiver in Chiefs history.  Let’s start treating him like it.

Gilby and Cassel after le jump:

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Tyson Jackson turned in his second consecutive solid performance yesterday.  It is, as far as I can recall, the first time he has accomplished that feat in a Chiefs uniform.  Seeing him bat down that pass was a strange experience.  Like getting lobster at an Arby’s drive-through*.  But hey, it happened.  Tin Man made a good play in the passing game.

*I wanted this line to be “like getting a McRib in the Arby’s drive-through.”  But then I remembered some of you weirdos don’t like the McRib.  #Idon’tgetyou

The Man From Tin has not been a popular player in the Chiefs blogosphere these past two years.  Some of that is his fault, and some of it isn’t.  His first two years were bad, there is no disputing that.  Stiff and slow as a rookie, injured then fat in his second year.  Not the difference-maker we hoped Pioli would get with that sweet plum of a pick.  And yet, if we’re to be fair to Jackson, we have to leave our expectations out of his evaluation.  The question of “Is he good, or is he bad” has nothing to do with how good or bad we hoped he’d be.  This is a pretty hard line for our brains to draw.  Impossible, maybe.

Look, I’ll just lay my cards on the table: I hated the pick from the moment it was made, and I’ve been clowning on Tin Man ever since.  Most of the people I know felt the same way I did, and it seems like a sizable percentage of Chiefs Nation felt that way as well.

I know this has been difficult for some of you to understand.  It feels like rooting against the Chiefs.  Like ”does he want this player to be bad?”  No, I (we) don’t.  I cheer for Tin Man when he does well, even if I am a little surprised.  When he batted down that pass I think my exact words were ‘TIN MAN! INCREDIBLE!”  The problem is that up to this point, I’ve seen him do very little.  These last two games have been, by far, the best stretch of his career.  When 1 tackle + 1 batted down pass = a surprisingly good game for a third year man, its safe to say he hasn’t been a huge success.

Still, if he was drafted, say, in the third round, I’d probably be pretty encouraged right now.  Still stiff, still slow, but making his presence felt.  Looks to no longer be a liability in the running game.  This may be a player we can work with.  Forget where he was drafted, that’s good news.

more Tin Musings after le jump:

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What excited me most about the 2011 season wasn’t how good I thought we’d be.  Our 2010 schedule was a basket full of delicious cupcakes, and I understood that.  I think most of us did.  I wasn’t expecting big things from the Chiefs this year.  Playoffs, maybe, and that elusive playoff win seemed like a faint possibility.  I did put money on the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl, but I wasn’t exactly looking at that as a sound investment.  I figured we could be anywhere from kinda bad to pretty good.

And yet, I was VERY excited for this season.  Why?  Because, in my mind, the excuses had finally run out.  For three years we listened to Herm blame players, injuries, youth, the schedule, the strength of the yen, the zodiac, and various books of the Bible for his team’s misfortunes.  Then Haley came to town, and while he himself is not an excuse-giver, the excuses were definitely there.  KC fans had at that point grown to love excuses almost as much as we love barbecue.  For the past two years I’ve watched the fan base spin any failure before the organization even gets a chance to.

This season, though, was going to be different.  The excuse well had finally run dry.  Our coach isn’t new, our GM isn’t new, our defense isn’t new, and Tyson Jackson was heading into that magical third year (LOL).  And most importantly, to me, you can’t claim to be “rebuilding” a year after winning the division.  After five years, I thought I was finally done hearing that word.

Alas that I may have thought wrong.  I realized at the end of Sunday’s game that the door is now open for the same old excuses to creep back into the discourse.  Find out EXACTLY how its going to happen after le jump:

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This one was a little easier for me. Getting punched in the face is always easier when you see it coming. Yes, I was surrounded by Lions fans, but they weren’t about to rag on us. They understand. I was thus free to eat my wings, drink my beer, and ruminate on how exactly we got here, and what is to be done.

There are lessons to be learned from the 2011 Chiefs. The first and most obvious is that you have to be able to think for yourself to intelligently follow a football team. I’m not looking to rub anyone’s face in anything here, but some of us have known all along there were problems with Pioli and Haley. Some haven’t. If you regularly accused your fellow fans of being an idiot, a bad fan or a “hater” because they voiced concerns that have now been proven valid, you should think long and hard about that.

When your coach clearly values intangibles over talent, it isn’t bad form to point that out. When your GM picks a gigantic tin robot third overall, it isn’t being a Negative Nancy to think there may be consequences for that. If nothing else, this season should once and for all teach Chiefs Nation that there is such a thing as legitimate criticism of the Chiefs. I thought Herm’s years were a master’s course in that lesson, but when this regime rolled into town, it seemed like most of Kansas City was all too eager to forget what we’d just learned. Let’s not let that happen again. It reflects poorly on us.

The next lesson is that when your coach and GM repeatedly say dumb things, they probably also think some dumb things. Did you guys catch Haley talking about his “quarter of the season” system again in yesterday’s presser?  Yep, still doing that.  It’s weird, it’s meaningless, and it’s something our coach apparently spends a lot of time thinking about. This is the same guy who once said Quinten Lawrence and Brodie Croyle were part of his core. He said our running game was going to be better under Bill Muir. He said Thom Jones was going to be quicker this year. He told Peter King the reason he didn’t give Jamaal Charles more carries than Jones last year is because it would’ve been anti-team.

Scott Pioli said picking Javaier Arenas and Dexter McCluster in rd 2 would greatly improve our “team speed.” He said he nearly traded up for Donald Washington. He said, “Don’t go anywhere” after picking Tin Man and when asked why he didn’t trade down, said, “No one was calling.”  He said (and continues to say) Jackson would be the LDE of the future.* He coined the phrases “right 53″ and “substance over sizzle.”

*Has anyone else noticed how vague Pioli is about Jackson and what his supposed ”LDE of the future” status entails? “He plays the position the way we want it played.” “He does everything we ask him to do.” What exactly are you asking him to do, Scott?  (Crickets.)

I’m not saying any one of these things is necessarily a deal breaker. But there was plenty of smoke before this all-out forest fire started. We have to actually listen to what these guys say. If it sounds really dumb, it probably is really dumb.

My reasons not to jump ship after le jump (ship):

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It appears those of us who thought the Chiefs preseason was meaningless owe those of you who knew better an apology. I was concerned, but I’ll admit I did not see this coming at all. It seemed impossible that we’d look as bad in the regular season as we did in the preseason. Unfortunately for us, Todd Haley has made the impossible possible.

There is always plenty of blame to go around after any lopsided loss, but from where I’m sitting this is a direct extension of Haley’s ridiculous training camp and preseason. And to his credit, he seems to get that. Our coach certainly has his flaws, but one thing I’ve always liked about him is he doesn’t grasp for excuses. Can you imagine what a Herm Edwards press conference would’ve been like after a loss like that? He would’ve blamed the lockout, mentioned how young we were, referenced injuries, and then closed with his sarcastic “Yeah, blame me, its all my fault.” Haley said to blame him, and he actually meant it. I appreciate that candor.

The problem is that he really is to blame.  He’s taken this team from division champion to, what, worst team in the NFL?  How did that happen?  How can a team with this much talent look SO MUCH worse than literally everyone else?

The hardest part about Sunday, for me, was the insufferable Bills fans. I was surrounded by them. You’d think Bills fans, of all people, would feel a certain kinship with us. I’ve always tactitly rooted for them, or at least felt bad for them. I assumed they felt that way about us, too. But we’ve lost to the Bills thrice since I moved to Brooklyn, and their fans have been total pricks every time.

When the Chiefs are losing badly, I like to bust out the tomahawk chop. I feel like its a good way to show everyone Chiefs fans are good-natured, and don’t take ourselves too seriously. It also takes the sting out when you’re down 30, and it’s good for a laugh. The local Bills fans, unfortunately, aren’t smart enough to understand this. They think I’m being aggressive. And their response to that, unbelievably, is to sarcastically chop back at me the worse the score gets. It’s really something.  Twenty fans of a perennially awful team angrily mocking a man who was only trying to clown around and admit defeat. These are guys who wear ironic mustaches and still think its the funniest thing in the world. It’s like they’re just a little behind the rest of the country. No self-awareness, seemingly. They’ve somehow forgotten their team’s name is synonymous with failure, and has been for 20 years.

But I digress. Chan Gailey, at least, I’m happy for. It’s got to feel good to know you’re a better coach than the guy who fired you. Kudos, Chan.

My pathetic game notes after le jump:

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My favorite bartender went to Vegas last week.   I took the opportunity, as I often do when a friend* is going to Vegas, to lay some bets down at the sports book.  My boy Nick Diaz over GSP?  Check.  Chael Sonnen over Brian Stann?  Check.  Kansas City Chiefs to win the Super Bowl?  CHECK. 

*Did I just list a bartender (who I never hang with outside the bar) as my friend?  Shit.  Social life just hit a new low.  Next step down the rung: online gaming.  Check back with me at this time next year.

I’m told there was laughter when the bet was placed, although that may have been a playful exaggeration.  To people on the east coast, the Chiefs are a joke.  Synonymous with the Royals.  I used to bristle at that attitude, but since we haven’t won a playoff game since before The Shawshank Redemption came out and we’re once again leading the league in cap space*, I can sort of see their point.  Whatever.  The odds were 40-1, which is an unbelievably sweet bet for a division champion in my opinion.  If the Chiefs win the Super Bowl, your boy Big Matt will pocket 2 Gs**.  I gotta think that would go down as one of the top 5 best moments of my life.  Pretty sure it would edge out that awesome double filet-o-fish I had at McDonalds last lent.

*REALLY looking forward to 2013 and that cap floor.  I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve got a feeling when Clark Hunt is legally obligated to spend at least 90% of the salary cap, he may very well do it.

**The following people will be receiving  Big Matt fan club t-shirts if I win that 2 grand: Paddy, Double D, Jeremy, Lyle, TIDL, Block Eater, The Centaur, Greens, Jackie Rubbinson, Danny W, Victor’s daughter, my grandma, Clark Hunt, Sweet Ron, Mo-Leg, and Justin Houston.   Also probably the guy at the corner store who’s always smiling like a pervert.  I like the cut of his jib. 

I made the bet because I think the Chiefs can win.  Allow me to repeat that: I think the Chiefs can win the Super Bowl this year.  How’s that for a negative nancy? 

I should clarify here that I don’t think its likely.  But we have the best offensive weapon in the game, a great young secondary and a pass rush that should be incredible if Todd Haley can get out of its way (MORE JUSTIN HOUSTON AND WALLY GILBY PLEASE).  Thats enough to give any team a shot. 

more after le jump: (more…)

Chiefs fans, myself included, are always itching to see each year’s new defense.  Under Vermeil we knew the offense would be good, under Herm bad.  Not a lot of fluctuation there.  The defense was bad throughout the decade, but every year we convinced ourselves they’d be better.  We listed our reasons why.  Even a modest improvement, such as Jared Allen brought, drove us wild.  It was fun.  The yearning for the 90s is palpable in Chiefs Nation.  More than anything, we want our defense back.

Still, any time you take the #1 rushing offense in the league (“I’ll take a thunder and lightning, hold the thunder”) and add significant receiving talent, a fan base will lick its chops.  This is the first time in five years I can remember going into a season with legitimate expectations for our offense.  It’s all in place, right?  Charles is still here, Cassel is coming into his own, Terry Copper got inked to a new deal, our receivers should be A LOT better, and we even have a new fullback.  AA’s own Double D has been quoted as saying we’re one Thom Jones firing away from being unstoppable.  With all of this coming together at the same time, what could go wrong?

the obvious answer after le jump:

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The right 53.  If there was ever a phrase that embodied GM-speak, this is it.  If we bring someone in, he was part of the right 53.  If we don’t, he wasn’t.  Either way, we are 100% correct in everything we choose to do or not do.  “Right 53″ essentially translates to “we are always right.” 

Do other teams have GM-speak catch-phrases like this?  I’m sure some probably do.  I doubt most of them are parroted with such gusto, but the point I’m making is that Scott Pioli is not alone in his use of these tactics.  They’re par for the course in professional sports.  Hell, ”right 53″ isn’t even his only phrase.  He talks about “the right fit” every time he gives an interview.  And I think we’ve all heard “substance over sizzle” a time or two by now.  Both of these are similar to “right 53″ in that what they’re supposed to mean is actually just a blanket justification for anything the Chiefs care to do.  Kelly Gregg over Aubrayo Franklin?  Substance over sizzle.  Passed on a draft pick?  He wasn’t part of the right 53.  Missed out on a free agent?  Bad fit.  League basement payroll?  Right back to substance over sizzle.  Presto, infallibility.  We have always been at war with East Asia. 

For Pioli’s first two years here I snickered whenever I heard “right 53″, but I actually did think it meant something.  Or at least, that he thought it meant something.  Character, work ethic, intelligence, Vrabel, etc.  People he and Haley could control.  Thats what I thought he was really after, and thats what I thought the phrase was supposed to mean.  I was wrong.

more after le jump: (more…)

Let’s start here: I do not care about the results of Friday’s preseason shellacking. 

I, like you, have read many different takes by now.  Some good, some bad.  I thoroughly enjoyed Crocker’s attempt to glean some knowledge of how our backup backups played.  Paddy’s “Earning their Arrowheads” is always fun, even when Thom Jones gets one. 

The worst stuff I’ve seen out there is the sarcastic “all is lost!” take, in which the writer mocks anyone who was discouraged by their team losing 25-0.  This, to me, is the deepest kind of bullshirt (spelling intentional!), because it attempts to establish intellectual superiority based on what is actually intellectual inferiority.  “You’re not able to immediately dismiss anything negative about the Chiefs?  Jeez dude, how stupid are you?”

Maybe I’m just lazy (or dead inside?), but I was unable to muster any kind of reaction.  I watched the game, had some beers, went out afterwards in my D-Bowe jersey, got into a shouting match with a stranger, took my pants off, fell asleep on the local tennis courts, got up as the sun was rising and went home.  Typical Friday night, really.  The game had no effect on me. 

more after le jump: (more…)

I think its safe to say the football juices are officially flowing again. I’ve spent most of the past six months writing about either our owner or the owners at large (with some occasional draft coverage, a Big Matt Monday and a Paddy Piece in the mix). I wouldn’t say it was fun, exactly, but I really felt this was an important opportunity to raise awareness in Kansas City. So I beat that drum as loud as I could, maybe a little too loud sometimes. I felt it needed to be done, and didn’t think it would happen anywhere other than AA. I certainly didn’t expect our boy Gretz to get in on the act. That was surreal.

Still, I’m glad its over. When I sat down at my computer today I was overcome by a sense of freedom. I can write about anything now.  So without further ado, 2,500 words on the various similarities between Chiefs players and the crew of the Battlestar Galactica……

Just kidding.  That article isn’t scheduled to drop until the next lockout.  I’ve got it saved for a rainy day.  In case of emergency, break glass.  I thought I’d use this space to list the five reasons this offseason made me smile.  I’m considering doing a “smiles” and “frowns” article after each game this season, but probably won’t.  Twice the work.  Plus Ladner already had the good/evil day*.

*I voted for Evil Ladner.  Liked the cut of that guy’s jib.  Could we maybe bring him back the third Tuesday of every month, or something like that?  I think he could develop a following.

The point is that this offseason, while hard to endure, did have its silver linings.  Even a semi-jaded east coast nerd like your boy Big Matt can see that.  My top five offseason smiles after the jump:

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note: This is the first in a recurring series between Lyle Graverson and myself, wherein we debate various aspects of this team we’re all obsessed with.  Lyle and I rarely have the same take on anything, but both like to consider ourselves reasonable men.  We’ll let you Addicts be the judge of that.  I think its safe to say TIDL just became a big Graverson supporter.   

We’ve heard this song, seen this film, and danced this dance before.  After scintillating us all with the early addition of Steve Breaston*, the Chiefs have lost two fan favorites (or at least AA favorites) along the d-line, passed on the Aubrayo Franklin sweepstakes, and released arguably their best offensive lineman.  Most, if not all of these moves were designed to save money.  This is how Clark Hunt’s Chiefs play the offseason game.

*Our giddiness over Breaston, a guy who has averaged 700 yards and 2 touchdowns the last two years, is its own kind of evidence as to just how free-agent starved Kansas City has been.  I mean, I literally jumped for joy when I read about that signing. 

A few weeks ago, I wrote that the way the Chiefs approached free agency would be very telling.  Here’s what I said about the over-the-hill intangible all-stars the Chiefs had signed the past few free agencies:

What I’m hoping is that those guys were brought in just to buy time.  We certainly don’t need players like that anymore (we probably never did).  But what Todd Haley has proven, beyond the shadow of a doubt, is that he will start those guys every game and praise the job they’re doing no matter how badly they play.  We must depend on Pioli here.  He simply cannot give Haley any more old, broken toys to play with.

This is what bothers me about the Kelly Gregg signing.  It isn’t that I dislike Gregg.  There were times a few years ago when I thought to myself, “Man, it’d be nice to at least have a guy like Kelly Gregg.”  But Gregg will be 35 next season, and the team that has had a front-row seat for the past decade just cut him (despite having a young nose tackle that could seemingly use some mentoring).  If it looks like a Vrabel, and smells like a Vrabel, and leads like a Vrabel…

I’m not losing sight of the Breaston signing.  He’s this year’s Ryan Lilja, a solid player who will make our offense better.  The Chiefs got him at a reasonable price, also like Lilja.  But you’ve got to wonder why every player the Chiefs get these days is at a reasonable price.  Is it because Pioli is a genius, or because he isn’t allowed to go after anyone that could break the bank?  Is it a coincidence that every halfway pricey player isn’t part of the right 53?

more after le jump:

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It appears Lockout 2K11 is finally drawing to a close.  Its been quite a journey.  So many memories.  Like the time Clark Hunt showed up to that meeting.  Or when he and Art Rooney went to that other meeting.  Or when he said “process” all those times.

Eventually most of us will forget this offseason.  Even bitter, owner-hating nerds like your boy Big Matt will move on come week one.  We’ll have no choice.  It’ll be impossible to think about those slugs in their owner’s boxes when there is actual football being played.  I mean sure, the cameras will show them multiple times every game, and the announcers will lavish praise.  But we’ll be obsessed with the next play, or the previous play, or possible future plays.  Clark Hunt?  Who the hell is that?

Are there any lessons to be learned from the past six months?  Maybe not.  This ended much as everyone thought it would, with a new agreement in place and no games lost.  But at the very least, the owners’ cards are on the table now.  We know who these guys are, we know what they care about.  Hopefully a few more eyes will roll next time one of them is deified by one of their apologists in the announce booth (or Beast Nation).  Even a small victory like that is a worth a lot to me.  A hell of a lot.

more after le jump:

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The common thread, from what I can tell, is that nobody is happy with Roger Goodell.  I mean obviously the players aren’t, but I haven’t really heard any fans going to bat for him either.  Goodell is tied to no city.  The misplaced loyalty that inspires average folk to defend billionaire criminals does not apply to him.  He represents the interests of old, rich men, and gets paid millions of dollars to do so.  Popular with the masses, this man is not.

And, of course, the players despise him.  James Harrison may have made a fool out of himself with some of his recent comments (and how!), but make no mistake, he is not alone.  This is how most players feel about Goodell.  The vitriol in this case was just way over-the-top.

more after le jump:

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Chiefs fans, we’re in trouble.  Our captain has abandoned us.  Who will we look to for leadership now that he’s gone*?  All I can say is thank The Holy Spirit for Thom Jones.  We need him, now more than ever.  Thing is though, he’ll have to play twice as much to make up for the loss of Vrabel.  Looks like its time to get rid of Charles.  We can’t afford to be wasting carries on someone who isn’t a leader right now.

*The dwarves?  They hide in their mountains seeking riches.  They care nothing for the troubles of others. (Master Elrond: October, 3018)

Seriously though, I’m sure some of you are expecting an article full of mockery and snide remarks.  Aside from that first paragraph (couldn’t help myself), you’ll get neither.  Don’t get me wrong, I am happy Mike Vrabel retired.  Ecstatic, actually.  We’re a much better team than we were last week.  Whoever steps into that position will be a thrill to watch, comparatively.

But if you think I really hate Mike Vrabel, you’re wrong.  I do not.  He was a fine player in his day, and even as an elder statesman he could’ve been valuable* if used properly.  The problem, of course, is that the Chiefs weren’t using him properly.  They seemed incapable of it.  As long as Vrabel wanted to play, he was going to be a starter for the Kansas City Chiefs.  That was evident from the beginning.

*I’m talking mainly about theoretical value here.  I place a much, much lower emphasis on intangibles than many football fans, yet I’m not totally blind to their existence.  “Locker-room leadership”, however you want to define it, is most definitely a good thing.  How good?  We simply don’t know.  There is no way to accurately judge that.  But it has a non-zero value, even I admit that.

But the man walked away, and I respect him for that.  Sounds like he’s got a pretty sweet gig lined up, too.  Good for him.  I bear Mike Vrabel no ill will.  It was Todd Haley who kept sending him out there.

more after le jump:

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For most of the time they’ve shared Kansas City, the Chiefs and the Royals have been nothing alike.  They were like the bizarro versions of one another.  When one was bad, the other was good.  The Chiefs ruled the 60s and the 90s, and in the late 70s and most of the 80s KC was firmly Royals country.

It’s not like one team was just a little better than the other at any given time, either.  When the Chiefs were good, the Royals were awful, and vice versa.  The two teams have never been to the playoffs in the same year.  It’s like there was some kind of rule that Kansas City was only allowed to have one competitive team at any given time.

But at least we had one.  In 2007, even that changed.  Kansas City, for the first time in its history, had two consistently terrible teams.  Both were among the worst in their respective leagues for the next three straight years.  Our futility as a sports city was unmatched during this time.  We became a joke, and the fan base became embittered.  Both reacted in different ways.  Royals fans fell back on the self-deprecation they’d honed over the preceding 20 years.  Chiefs Nation, not as used to humiliation and defeat, reacted in a much less mature fashion*.  We shut our eyes, insisted everything was on the right track, swallowed every excuse fed to us, and broke out the torches and pitchforks every time someone dared to suggest all was not well.  It was a dark time in Chiefs fan history.  A dark, shameful time.

Every team has bad stretches, and every sports city goes through disappointing times (except Cleveland, obviously).  What made this stretch so frustrating for me was that our teams were sucking in exactly the same way.  Despicable owners, unintelligent coaches, outdated strategies, bargain-basement payrolls, and underneath it all an inexplicable smugness.  “Uh, we know what we’re doing, Kansas City.  Our eyeballs are never, EVER wrong.”

The free agent signings were remarkably similar:

• Jason Kendall=Mike Vrabel- Old, slow players who perform poorly by all evaluations and yet start every game and receive endless praise from the organization.  Experience, grit, intangibles, blah blah blah.
• Jeff Franceour=Thom Jones- OBP and YPC among the worst in the league, respectively.  But yeah, leadership!
• Horacio Ramirez=Mike Goff- Both brought in to be one starter of five (SP, OL).  Neither lasted close to an entire season.
• Rick Ankiel=Mike Brown- Both were promised their sport’s version of center field in order to lure them here.  Away from their many other suitors, presumably.

more after the jump:

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For most Chiefs fans, the 90s are the halcyon days.  The salad days.  The Age of Heroes, for you Game of Thrones fans (you know your boy Big Matt is all up in that).  Universally remembered fondly.  The bards will sing of the 90s Chiefs for years to come.

The Vermeil era was fun, and will always remain notable for its incredible offense and abysmal defense.  The Herm years will live in infamy for at least as long as I’m alive.  Pioli is forging this team’s new destiny, and if nothing else I would imagine he’ll be around and in charge for quite some time.  His teams will be remembered.

The Gunther Cunningham years, for whatever reason, have been forgotten.  Or rather, are being forgotten.  I rarely see anyone reference the ’99 or ’00 seasons.  They reside in the same no-man’s land as most of the ’80s seasons.  Insignificant, seldom discussed.

I will never forget those seasons.  They remain among my favorites in Chiefs history.  I’m pretty sure they changed me as a fan.  I won’t venture to say whether the change was positive or negative, but my eyes were definitely opened to some things.   There really was some pretty crazy stuff going on.  The coach was a lunatic, the team was a bunch of clowns, bad decisions were being made all over the place, and in Gunther’s worst season he still had more wins than Herm’s last two years combined (couldn’t resist that).  Seriously though, the team went 16-16 under him.  Thats pretty unbelievable, knowing what we know now.

Let’s review some highlights from the Gunther era after the jump:

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