Oct 13, 2013; Kansas City, MO, USA; Kansas City Chiefs fans set a new world record for the loudest stadium in the NFL at 137.5 decibels during the game against the Oakland Raiders at Arrowhead Stadium. The Chiefs won 24-7. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

AAMA: A Football Thing Happened

And, lo, there was a football schedule, and it soon begat football games which contained a team named the Kansas City Chiefs. And the Chiefs begat happiness throughout the land it is was good. Granted, it took six months before the happiness was “begotten” but whatevs. – Book Of Chiefs, Chapter 55, Versus 1-2.

It seems like it has taken a century just to get to the point where the NFL will announce their schedule for the 2014 season but it is finally here. And soon after the draft will happen and there will be loads of things to talk about besides random speculation. This cannot happen soon enough.

So let’s distract ourselves from the monotony of the NFL offseason and get straight to the questions.

Wait, what?

Andy, welcome to our seven step program that is ensured to make your addiction to the Chiefs even worse. Our simple guidelines will help you take your addiction to the next level and make you wonder if the answer to the meaning of life is to be a Chiefs fan.

Step One: Bookmark “Arrowhead Addict” and download appropriate version of the FanSided app. Be sure to enable push notifications for when we post our brilliant content. Hey, we have page view goals to hit to keep this site running, dammit. Otherwise, who else is going to troll Raiders fans when they say silly things? (Don’t say Twitter.)

Step Two: Purchase the book “The Packer Way: Nine Stepping Stones to Building a Winning Organization” which is written by Ron Wolf and Paul Attner and the entire Green Bay Packers football team (apparently).

Why purchase this? Ron Wolf was John Dorsey’s mentor in Green Bay and helped development of how Dorsey will approach building the Chiefs’ roster. This must-read book can be had for the extremely exorbitant price of $0.01 on Amazon.

Step Three: Watch this video. A lot.

Step Four: Start saving up money for one of these.

Step Five: Stare at this long enough until you say, “Hey, this is a good deal for $200.”

Step Six: When the Chiefs make the playoffs, be sure to have enough alcohol on hand for just in case the Chiefs blow a 28-point lead. Here’s a layman’s example. (Note: this is barely enough for one person, so plan accordingly.)

Step Seven: Always remember there is no place like Arrowhead.

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Probably really low when it comes to Clinton-Dix. It is hard to concoct a scenario where Haha Clinton-Dix falls to 23 as some think he could end up being as high as a top 10 pick.

Dion Bailey is an intriguing guy who has the added benefit of being young for this draft as he just turned 22. One shouldn’t ignore the importance of age in these things. He’s versatile, quicker than fast, and has good upside.

The question to whether or not the Chiefs view safety as a need as highly as some of us do. By the time the Chiefs get to where Bailey would be available, which is about the end of round three or early round four, the Chiefs will have made only one pick. Kansas City may feel they have more urgent needs at wide receiver, pass rush, or on the offensive line as opposed to safety. We’ll see, though.

Wait, we did what? We’re three months from training camp starting. Training camp.

However, if I were to put a win range on the Chiefs pre-draft it would be between 8 and 10 wins. This seems to jive with Vegas, who have the Chiefs wins over/under set at 8.5 right now.

It should be noted there are only five teams with lines set at 10 wins or more by Vegas, so the Chiefs are right in the thick of things. Then again, to demonstrate how difficult the Chiefs’ schedule is, the Chiefs play four of the five teams with a 10-win or higher over/under. So, yes, the schedule isn’t going to be very easy.

Still, it is April. There is a whole lot that can change between now and Kansas City’s Monday Night matchup with New England in late September. Let’s see how the draft, training camp, and the preseason play out first.

No, I’m not sure. It is getting to be a bit ridiculous how often the Chiefs are playing in Buffalo.

2014 will mark the seventh straight season the Chiefs have played Buffalo, with this year being the third straight year they’ve played them on the road. Kansas City is 2-4 against the Bills during that streak.

The absurdity goes beyond just the seven year streak. Including the 2014 season, the Chiefs will have played the Bills 11 times since 2000. Given neither team plays in the same division, this is pretty impressive.

No doubt about it. Any argument about the Chiefs being frauds this year will fall on deaf ears. All four conference championship participants, seven games against 2013 playoff teams, and the seventh highest opponents winning percentage (2013 records). If the Chiefs win 10 or more games this season then they have to be considered a Super Bowl contender, not a pretender.

VANCE WALKER JOKE OF THE WEEK

Have a great end of the week, Addicts.

 

 

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