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K.C. Chiefs: Observations, Speculations And A Few Questionable Calls You’ll Never Read About In Any Mad Magazine

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We know the Kansas City Chiefs went 2-0h by beating the Dallas Cowboys in a packed Arrowhead Stadium on Sunday afternoon by a score of 17-16 but, we’ll never find out why gameday announcers, Tim Ryan and Chris Meyers kept calling Dontari Poe, Dontario Poe or why the officiating was so “consistently” bad… I mean, how is it possible to be making bad calls but be doing it at such a consistent rate that all my Cowboys fan-friends (I use this term lightly) complained as much as I did.

Screen Shot 2013-09-17 at 5.23.12 PMThis game was filled with so many twists & turns and sideshows that I heard The Lord of the Rings, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Barnum & Bailey are all considering adding another ring.

Did anybody else pee in their britches a tiny bit when they saw Mr. Sean McGrath make a catch and then get up and face the camera with that Grizzly Adams Family beard big enough to hide squirrels in?

Guess who has the #2 ranked defense in “points allowed per game?” That’s right, our freakin’ awesome Kansas City Chiefs! The Seahawks are first with 5 points allowed per game. The Chiefs second with 9… and every other team in the NFL has 15 or more points allowed per game.

Now, guess who’s defense is #28 in the league in total points allowed with 60. Right again, the Eagles of Phillyville.

This clearly, easily by 1000%, has been my favorite week for sports radio here in the Dallas area.

DemarcoSome of my favoritest reasons that the Chiefs won this game, ripped from the lips of Dallas Sports radio media greats, includes:

1) “The refs were bad.”

2) “The Chiefs are a really good team.”

3) “RB DeMarco Murray left yards on the field.” Hmm, I guess 12 carries for 25 yards will do that to ya.

4) “DeMarco Murray didn’t get enough carries.” So, 2.1 ypc and you want him to have more carries?

5) The new/old OC Bill Callahan called “the same old weak junk.” That quote was a Terry Bradshaw special.

Ah, the glories of watching the Cowboys lose to my favorite team.

Eric Fisher sure is an inspiring RT to watch ain’t he? Can’t you wait until he moves over to LT and takes Brandon Albert’s place?? He may need a few more off-seasons in the weight room to look like he belongs in the NFL. The Chiefs don’t have a AAA league ballclub they can send him down to, do they??? Here’s to praying that he just had a bad, very bad, game.

Glenn Dorsey with trophyI wonder if Glenn Dorsey is DVR-ing all of the Chiefs games so he can finally learn what it’s like to play like a real nose tackle in this league?

“Poe Knows Nose.” Hey, I think there’s a marketing campaign there.

Anyone think Jamaal Charles should get some reps at QB so he can pick up some of those carries that Alex is getting. He’s like the prodigal son of running backs. “Please come home JC, please come home.”

I know Knile Davis had the fumble on a kickoff but, I’m predicting a big game this Thursday night against the Eagles. You heard it here first. “K.D. KOs The Eagles!”

Dwayne Bowe’s “Bombs Over Baghdad” description of what the Chiefs passing game would be like when the regular season comes around has turned out to be more, “Hand Grenades to the Crossing guards.” Alex seems a little near sighted, right? Will Chiefs fans ever see a pass longer than 9 yards? Wait, this just in! The Chiefs are saving their long ball game for Philly. Balls to the wall!

Poe KnowsWhile leading the league with 9 sacks, the Chiefs will eclipse their total for the 2012 season (27) in game #7 granted they continue this pace. I never have believed that stats tell the whole story but, when a team is winning there are always stats that help to tell why. QB pressure is a biggie! Poe Knows Sacks!

Did I mention yet that Chris Myers and Tim Ryan’s favoritism was shockingly BRILLIANT network planning. Sure made all my friends in cow-patty-land giddy.

Do the Chiefs need a #1 CB? Either Dez Bryant is Superman or Brandon Flowers is really not a Pro Bowl level performer like many have been touting (including myself). Somebody needs to go looking for his pants because he was just exposed! Badly. In fact, I wondered why the Cowboys weren’t throwing to Dez more? They could have easily beaten the Chiefs had they done so.

I have to admit these are not your daddy’s Chiefs.

One of my favorite sound bites this week from Dallas sports radio, 1310 the Ticket: “Maybe Romo’s medicine for the pain in his rib cage was wearing off and so he couldn’t throw the ball like he normally does in the fourth quarter.” Ah, isn’t that a cute one.

Screen Shot 2013-09-18 at 1.05.51 AMQuestion: would you rather see Tamba Hali and Justin Houston dropping into coverage… or giving the QB whiplash? I vote whiplash. I just didn’t see enough of my favorite LBs in the QBs jersey. I like most of what I’m seeing in Bob Sutton’s defense but, you can fake the opposition out so much that you end up not using your best players to do what they are designed to do.

Bottom line is, the Dallas Cowboys looked better than I thought they would be. Which translates to, it looks like the Kansas City Chiefs could be a legitimate playoff team.

I’d sure like to be a fly on the wall of Brandon Carr’s mind (“Damn, I think I made a mistake going to Dallas”).

Is there anyone else in the house that wants to rename the position of “the punter” and have it changed to “the Colquitt.” The man’s a left footed Goddity.

Screen Shot 2013-09-18 at 1.22.19 AMWhy the “H-E-Goalposts” didn’t Andy Reid throw the red flag on that play down near the goal line? For a few moments I thought I was having LSD flashbacks of that time I spent huddled in a corner of the Eagles locker room back in ’99… but, then I remembered, I’ve never taken LSD… and it wasn’t a flashback at all. Fortunately, the Chiefs won… and I have peacefully returned to my AA (Arrowhead Addict) meetings.

When you daydream about playing QB, don’t you often wonder with great wonder… how in the world a QB can let time run off the play clock when a giant sized (by the way, don’t say “giant sized” in front of Cowboy fans, it makes them twitch) play clock, is right in front of them?

At one point I was wondering if Flowers was going to need trauma care for burn victims. Pro Football Focus (PFF) gave Flower a -3.8 for his performance on Sunday.

Back to Ryan and Meyers who called the game… I’m taking an Addict poll here so is there anyone willing to flip the switch if we can get them convicted on manslaughter charges from butchering so many names during the game? “That’s the night when the lights when out in Georgia.” Please.

Screen Shot 2013-09-17 at 6.05.33 PMHow many of you were thinking to yourself during the game… this could be the Super Bowl matchup come next February at MetLife Stadium in Jersey? Nah, me neither.

Will the national media ever appreciate how looney-toons-happy a Chiefs fan can get when they’re 2-0 going into week three?

How about you Chiefs fans… any random musings?

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  • berttheclock

    Near the end of the broadcast, I expected to hear Chris Myers say, “Well, you won’t find Jerry Jones standing atop the rooftops blaming the government for this mess?
    Now, as to Tim Ryan. Played for the Bears and does the pre-season Niners’ games. Yes, he is a NFL homer.
    But, nice to hear you have been found safe and well in Dallas. I know you tried to interview Jerry Jones about his current fetish of pouring over Proust’s “A Remembrance of Time Past”. Of course, when you asked him about firing Tom Landry, I understand you were asked to leave by the Texas Rangers.
    Yeah, those Cowboys’ fans. Callahan should have kept throwing to Bryant, er, no, he should have called more running plays, er, no, more passes, er, no, more running plays, etc. Love to see confusion is still alive and well in Dallas.

    • ladner morse

      I’d like to be more eloquent… however, those two make me want to puke… and I would pay to keep them off the air.

  • Stacy D. Smith

    Love the graphwork, Laddie! Party punch? Hilarious.

    • ladner morse

      Actually been “party punched” myself.

  • WORLDCHAMPSPURS

    Good call(s) Laddie. I’m LOVING the Ticket as well!

    • ladner morse

      TICKET is the more interesting of the selections.

  • Spencer

    Agree with Fisher, I expect a Poe-esc increase in play level next yr, his athleticism you just can’t teach and he does seem to calm down and play better as the game goes along IMO. Seems to get beat badly early then settles down, doesn’t get beat as much and starts looking like a good tackle near the end it appears. Hopefully we keep Albert this coming yr.

    • ladner morse

      I had the same thought about Fishers second season being like Poe’s. That why I’m predicting the Chiefs make the Super Bowl following next season. On the backs of Albert and Fisher.

      • Spencer

        it would be nice.

  • tm1946

    A little disjointed, what is in the drinking water down there.

    Fox sports should be embarrassed by their coverage, one sided does not cover it.

    Flowers looked a lot like toast but kept coming back. Besides if you live by the pass, eventually you die by it.

    As for the cowboy fans, not all the raving I had hoped for. Guess they are used to the new cowboys.

    Lastly, 2-0 says it all. Hopefully Thursday, we will stand up again.

    • ladner morse

      Have a feeling… it will be our best win yet.

  • berttheclock

    Glenn Dorsey may well have to study film of Poe, as he is, now, the only listed nose tackle for the Niners. Williams is gone for the year with a broken ankle. The player just signed by the Niners is not a nose tackle. Ah, problems in the Bay. Problems in Dallas. I really must stock up on more onions to tear my eyes.
    Now, you must work on a new moniker for Sean McGrath. He did come out of the hills in Arkansas, well, at least, for his college days. “Grizzly Adams” might be too simple

    • ladner morse

      I would get on my knees and beg to see some stampeded Broncos.

      Funny… how there are things you end up saying in this life… that you could never have imagined yourself saying… and that was one of them.

    • Suzi Conger

      Great post berttc. lol

  • Jason Seibel

    Dude, I love your stuff…great read for a Wednesday morning!!!

    • berttheclock

      Apparently, Real Ale Brewery does make home deliveries of their Fireman #4 Ale on Tuesdays.

    • ladner morse

      Putting the umph in Humph day.

  • Danny W

    Laddie
    Your an eccentric guy. I like it. Flowers did get burned quite often. I’m still confused why they went away from Dez my mom is a Lez Bryant. If they would have stuck to that game plan we would have lost by double digits. As far as Sutton getting away from the linebackers rushing I couldn’t agree more. He also should have given Flowers help over the top sooner. I think Flowers is a top corner I just think Dez Bryant is better than he is. I also think Eric Berry should get a shot at kick returns. Dude has some mean ball skills. As far as KD getting a KO in Philly I think your tripping out again there good Sir. I just hope Charles gets the ball via hand off. Nothing cute but a good old fashion let have. Alex Smith is near sited. Needs to stretch the game. Good read.

    • ladner morse

      What? Me eccentric?

  • Deaudrey Dre-Mac MacDonald

    Great post

    • ladner morse

      Thanks……. I just get tired of every piece having to be so serious all the time………..

  • redchiefs

    Great article, thanks again for your time spent doing this. I remember the giddy, queasy excited feeling in my gut when we selected Dontari Poe. His college tape said no no no but that combine said yes yes yes. RAC knows NTs. I was surprised to see Flowers in single coverage on Bryant instead of Sean Smith due to the size difference. I totally agree Hali and Houston should have been testing Romo’s ribcage With Poe pushing the pocket, our fan base manning the 12th man like they were, one or both of our pro bowler LBs should have been living in the Dallas backfield. Eric Fisher is a rookie and he faces veterans every week. Some of them are pro bowl caliber level too. As the game grinds on, and he’s sees their moves, they lose their advantage, their tricks are known and he wins the battles. Another year in the weight room and a year’s experience in the trenches and he’ll be the beast we expect.
    We fans need to remember this is a West Coast Offense. A short pass equals a short run. The passing game sets up the running game. While we worry Alex Smith is checking down too much, the system is designed to allow for exactly that, it’s ok to throw to the check downs, and some plays are designed to clear out space for the check down throw. I’d like to see a couple more bombs per game, but the O line will have to block better for that to happen.
    Like most fans I want them to be playing this week like they should be playing in week 16, where they have 16 weeks of live battle in Andy’s and Bob’s systems. That’s not too much to ask is it? I have to laugh at myself, and remind myself that they are 2-0 on the season after week 2. That’s a good place to be and it should get better.

    • KCMikeG

      Great post! Covered everything I was thinking – Thanks. Laddie joked about the passing attack but don’t you think Reid would hold back some things? Especially for this game? The Eagles are one of the worst defenses in the league giving up 542 yards and making Phyllis Rivers look like a real NFL QB again last week.

      • ladner morse

        Each game they’ve played I still get the feeling they are holding back so much that they worked on in camp but can’t play their whole hand yet.

    • ladner morse

      Great post! Thanks for bringing it!

    • Suzi Conger

      Well said redchiefs; our OL rates in bottom 6-ish in nfl; most pressures/rushes/sacks allowed against our QB. AS is very proficient with deep big plays when allowed the time to execute, and not ‘running for his life’…hopefully the OL will ‘gel’ soon (rather than later , lol) and furnish better protection and blocking for AS and JC/RB’s…I get concerned about injury for both JC and AS…
      Totally agree about the West Coast Offense…. Chiefs!!

  • Chris Tarrants

    Sadly enough the announcers are going to be swinging from the nuts of who ever we play. If you think it’s bad now just wait until we play Denver! I caught the last half of the manning bowl and even when Payton threw an incomplete pass they were sucking his butthole with crap like oh that must have been a bad route by the wideout, or even his incomplete a are a thing of beauty. Makes you want to come through the tv a give the dude a palm thrust to the forehead

    • ladner morse

      “when Payton threw an incomplete pass they were sucking his butthole with crap”….. ahhhhh, I can always count on you Chris to make me laugh with gusto! Thanks dude!

      I hope you don’t mind but I may have to start quoting your stuff.

      • Chris Tarrants

        Quote away my friend but if its used for financial gain then I want royalties ;)

        • ladner morse

          Just remember, 10% of nuttin’ is still nuttin’.

          • Chris Tarrants

            See this is why I love this site! People can speak their mind and its ok. Nobody gets their panties in a wad! I have officially been banned from commenting on B/R for speaking my mind and here when I do people just laugh. Although I do feel the need to repeat what I tried to say on B/R just so that it is still floating around the web… To the guy who keeps making the 5 teams guaranteed to lose this week. You sir are still a worthless, uneducated, over opinionated FAT F***, ok I feel better that it is reposted.so now the most important part is GO CHIEFS

  • chiefridgy

    Awesome! I just read that up until now Dontari Poe was considered a bust. WTF…. By who?

    • ladner morse

      If you read that someone called Poe a bust… it was way too premature for anyone to do that. You can’t judge DL until after their third year, as a rule of thumb.

  • Danny W

    Any one know if Danta Robinson is in or out this game?

    • CaliChief83

      Dunta ;). He’s not listed on the injury report. The only players I’ve heard about possibly not playing are Flowers (knee), Kelce (knee) and Fasano (ankle).

      • Danny W

        I still don’t know what some families think with the spelling of these names. I mean Tamba I get. Maybe Dunta is from Africa as well? Either way if Flowers is nicked up Dunta may be mui important.

  • ArrowFan

    Dorsey never played nose. Flowers was only burned bad on one play, sure Dez was bringing them down early but it wasn’t like Flowers was way out of position it was because Dez is a foot taller. Great article, I too have been enjoying this week, I’m well surrounded by Cowgirl fans.

    • chiefin’ainteasy

      I think Flowers is borderline elite, but his size will probably always prevent him from being the best, and just nothing he can do about that. He definitely has his issues with big, physical receivers, I think he’ll look much better against Desean Jackson tomorrow…

      • ladner morse

        Don’t get me wrong, I like Flowers a lot. I think we actually saw his upside on Sunday though. I’d like to see the Chiefs pursue a top cover CB in the draft and maybe move Brandon to the slot. I doubt Dunta Robinson will be much good after one more season and Flowers inside with Smith and a top cover corner would take us well into the future as a top rated defense.

    • ladner morse

      Perhaps you missed the point about Dorsey — who currently plays NT in San Francisco — ending up being somewhat of a bust on the Chiefs DL… especially when it comes to sacks. In this, Dorsey’s 6th season, he has finally amassed 6 sacks. Poe? 3.5 after 18 games.

      Sometimes great college players just don’t translate….

      • ArrowFan

        I hadn’t realized he was playing Nose for the 9ers. You did nail it with the “Poe Knows Nose” you had better copyright than now or I will:)

  • Mark Bustamante

    Great comments. Very accurate.

    • ladner morse

      Yep, “accuracy” was my main goal here.

  • Danny W

    Anyone see that Clady is down for the year? Good luck with that against us this year. I know Peyton is good at getting rid of the ball early but he’s going to have a tough time with out that guy.

  • ArrowFan

    After we win tonight on a TD catch by the “Epic Beard”. The “Epic Beard” will instantly go viral along with the 2013 Chiefs.