Top Ten Reasons The Chiefs “Show” In The 2013 Playoffs


Movies are having a good summer season. The Kansas City Chiefs are having a good (off) season too. So, here are the top ten reasons the Chiefs will “show” in the playoffs following the 2013 season… with a little cinematic assistance.

 

Number 10: The Exorcist

Improved Arrowhead Stadium Juju

When it takes the horrific loss of your own home grown middle linebacker in your own parking lot to inspire only your second victory of the season one day later… you’re in need of a Juju rejuvenation.

Mr. Clark Hunt has cleaned house… effectively exorcising the Arrowhead demons… by bringing in the devout and upbeat Andy Reid, then hiring the down to earth and decisive John Dorsey.  Consequently, the “vibe” has changed from night to day around our favorite stadium in the world. It’s gone from scary Juju to sweet Jujubes.

These things tend to swing, like a pendulum, so there’s no reason now to believe the Chiefs won’t end up 14-2. Is there?

Number 9: The Calendar Girls

Goooood Scheduling

The Mayan calendar has predicted the Chiefs will do so well in 2013 they will stop the end of the world from happening. Long time Vice President of the Dallas Cowboys player personnel Gil Brandt (who has been around since they made the Mayan Calendar) also believes the Chiefs are a team to believe in, in 2013. In his post called “Alex Smith and Andy Reid Among Reasons to Believe in 2013 Chiefs” he states that,

The bottom line is the Chiefs appear to have a winning formula in place. They have a great schedule (with a Week 10 bye), great talent and top-notch leadership. I can easily see them making the playoffs in 2013.

Number 8: Fast Times At Ridgemont High

Making Colquitt the best paid punter in the league

Watching Kansas City Chiefs games in 2012 was difficult, yes. However, whenever Dustin Colquitt took the field I’d find myself repeating the same phrase in my head, “If only the Chiefs were good (on offense or defense) then they could really take advantage of Colquitt’s awesome punts.” With any kinds of improvement in those other departments in 2013, then Colquitt’s boomers, knuckleballs and kicks inside the 10 can be fully appreciated by all… especially the defense.

Why “Fast Times?” Colquitt could easily grow his hair out and play the part of Spicoli in the remake (which they should never make).

Besides, you know the old adage that says,  “Punting wins championships?” Totally dude!

 

Number 7: The Fifth Element

Improving DE by restructuring Tyson Jackson,

letting Glenn Dorsey walk and signing Mike DeVito

Some believe that the loss of DE Glenn Dorsey will somehow weaken the Chiefs defensive line. I’m not one of those people. MIke DeVito will improve the run defense and his previous experience in Bob Sutton’s defense will make everyone around him better quicker. While there’s not a huge upside for the pass rush with the DeVito move… Tyson Jackson could be improved in that department under DC Bob Sutton’s “guess where the pressure is coming from” system. The difference won’t be dramatic but, you can expect the Chiefs run defense, to the outside, to be better this coming season and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Jackson end up with as many sacks in his fifth year as he had (5) in all previous years combined.

Pro Football Talk says, “Jackson is leaving an impression for all the right reasons.”

If Tin Man comes through, it has to mean one thing: it’s the “fifth element” at work. If Tin Man really does come through with 5 or more sacks this season… I propose he be renamed — The Fifth Element.

 

Number 6: SNL Cartoon

Improving the “TE position” by signing

Anthony Fasano and drafting Travis Kelce

The big story here is Tony Moeaki’s injury situation. However, that’s not the whole story. By signing Anthony Fasano and then turning around and drafting a top TE prospect like Travis Kelce, the Chiefs new brass have made it clear they are not only dedicated to opening up the passing game using the big guys while remaining dedicated to clearing a path for Jamaal Charles. This dedication will be a success on both accounts.

 

Number 5: The Fight Club

Improving the defensive backfield by signing

Dunta Robinson & Sean Smith then drafting Sanders Commings

$50 million for Brandon Carr? No can do. Never was going to happen. Why? I live in the Dallas area most of the year and I can’t tell you how many radio talk shows where I heard Carr interviewed and each time he’d announce, “I grew up always wanting to play for the Cowboys.” So, I hope fans can get over their Carr infatuation once and for all. The big question now is whether or not the Chiefs defensive backfield will ever be as good as when the Brandon’s were roaming the range? With the additions of Robinson, Smith and Commings, I’d say the answer to that question is an emphatic YES! Now, DC Sutton has choices at DB and the group as a whole has some pop. They can hit! Check out this piece called, “Chiefs Defensive Backfield: a Greatest Hits Club.”

 

Number 4: Top Gun

Trading two 2nd round picks for QB Alex Smith

With all the moves toward making the Chiefs into a playoff team, perhaps the greatest missing link has been a good QB. Well, Reid got his man early. In what now seems like almost no time at all after Reid was hired, he moved to get Alex Smith from the 49ers for what we now know is two 2nd round picks and we know two pairs is going to win you a load of card games. I can’t say how many times I said to myself during the 2012 season, “If the Chiefs just had even an average QB, they could be really good.” Well, there’s a great chance Smith will be better than average. While being average might only make the Chiefs a “better” team… the reality is Alex Smith has playoff experience and playoff expectations. Where the head goes… the body will follow. If Alex believes, maybe you should too.

 

Number 3: The Three Amigos

Improving the OL by drafting T Eric Fisher first overall,

keeping T Branden Albert & signing Geoff Schwartz

The future is now. The future at right-tackle and the future at left-tackle. It’s a big story anytime you have the first pick in the draft. This year, with new management coming in, the story was even bigger because the Chiefs offense, and offensive line, needing fixing. Is it fixed? Time will tell but it looks like this regime has made big time progress, including drafting LT Eric Fisher first overall.

The most tenuous situation this off season was the status of LB Branden Albert. Having Albert back in the saddle will stabilize an offensive line situation which remains the position with the most questions. While the tackles are decided, the interior is a bit in the air. Andy Reid’s tenant of placing the best 5 on the field will be a work in progress. Consequently, it’ll be a big step towards the playoffs if Alex Smith knows who will be guarding his blind side. The answer to that is Albert and Chiefs fans everywhere should rejoice, even if you don’t like Branden’s blocking in the running game.

Assuming Geoff Schwartz gets the start at Left Guard, when week eight rolls around and the Chiefs host the Browns, “The Schwartz” will be with us (or on the field) almost every minute of the game. As it turns out Geoff Schwartz (6-6, 340) has a “little” brother named Mitchell Schwartz, (6-5, 320), who not only starts for the Cleveland Browns but, it believed to be in the same class as Joe Thomas. By whom, you ask? Joe Thomas. He says, “He (Mitchell) has everything you need in a right tackle.” Why all the talk about Geoff’s brother Mitchell? Because I believe Geoff is better than Mitchell. He just hasn’t gotten his opportunity to hold down a position as a starter. He should get that chance this year with the Chiefs.

 

Number 2: The Movie “10”

Signing Dwayne Bowe to a long term deal

I’ve heard it mentioned that the Chiefs have the worst overall set of WRs in the league. I don’t buy it but, it was critical for the Chiefs to lock up their best WR and perhaps the best wideout in team history. You can fix the OL positions. You can fix the QB position. You can even fix the TE position. However, if you don’t have a number one wide receiver… especially in a high flying west coast offense… then your offense will lack any semblance of running/passing balance. Dwayne Bowe is all that and more. Since the moment Todd Haley stepped on the Arrowhead campus Bowe has been socially stifled. Now, I understand many people don’t like what they term as a “self-centered” side of Bowe but, these same people may not understand what a lift Bowe gives the team through his grandstanding and celebrating. And right now, the Chiefs need to tap that energy. Bowe is now claiming he will lead the league in receiving this year. Whether he does or not is insignificant. However, by touting his new found abilities… demands that other teams treat him, and the Chiefs offense, with respect and attention… especially on the outside. That will affect every offensive function that makes Chiefs game planning successful. So, this is not simply about re-signing Bowe to a big deal… it’s about making Bowe a big deal… because he is.

Why the movie “10?” Starring “Bo” Derek of course. Bad? I know… but they both wear micro-braids and both have great pecs.

And now for the number one reason the Kansas City Chiefs will “show” in the 2013 playoffs…

Number 1: Bob and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Clark Hunt’s excellent adventure,excusing

Crennel & Pioli then bringing on Reid & Dorsey

The Indianapolis Colts should be the Chiefs inspiration this season. They went from first in the draft and 2-14 to become a playoff team. Now, if you’ve looked over any of Andrew Luck’s stats you can see how lucky they were to get there and I don’t believe they’ll be there next season. The difference is… the Chiefs have Pro Bowl talent all over the field and have made… all the right movesagainst all odds… in an off season that’s been… fast and furious. Fortunately, Clark Hunt got the ball rolling immediately following the last game of the year.

 

All roads are pointing to the playoffs. Enjoy the ride Chiefs fans. To quote Frank Sinatra, “When I was 21, it was a very good year.” By the way, I think that’s how long ago it was that the Chiefs won a playoff game.

Go Chiefs!!!!

So Addict fans, have any cinematic thoughts of your own?

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Tags: KC Chiefs

  • berttheclock

    Great list, but, you forgot the one Someone Up There created for “Man of La Mancha”. “To dream the impossible dream, to beat the unbeatable foe………….this is our Quest”.

    Hey, it worked for the 1967 Boston Red Sox.

    Ah, Andy Reid on Rocinante. John Dorsey astride Dapple. Tilting at the Bronco windmill.

    • Suzi Conger

      here, here :-)

  • berttheclock

    Or, if you prefer, watching Andy Reid and John Dorsey work frantically to get the KC Phoenix (Flight of the Phoenix) airborne, once again.

  • kmon

    Swatz’s brother in the same class as Thomas? never heard that but if Geoff can be better, then we better not be idiotic

    • berttheclock

      Thomas said he had better technique as a rookie than Thomas had. As Brad Childress coached Mitchell, it would interesting to find out what he thinks of Geoff.
      But, the larger question, are the two Schwartz brothers better than the Horween brothers? The Horween brothers from Harvard were the last two Jewish brothers to play in the NFL at the same time. Yes, 1923 is a bit different, but, the Schwartz brothers are the first brother duo of the Jewish faith to play in the NFL since then.
      I really believe, barring any further hip injury, the addition of Geoff to the Chiefs will be long remembered as a coup for Dorsey.

  • KCPauly

    300…a few against many, and VICTORY…Go Chiefs!!!!!!!!!

  • Danny W

    This list is different for sure. What does the ambiguously gay duo have to do with our tight ends? Did I just answer my own question here? Ok never mind.

  • Suzi Conger

    GREAT, LADNER! Luv it….informative, accurate and inventively FUNNY! Go Chiefs!