I’m a jersey guy.
I’m not ashamed to admit it. I try and often fail, not to take myself to seriously in life. But sometimes it can be difficult.
As someone who has never played in an organized football game in his life (does paper football count, cause if so, I used to run tournaments) I do sometimes feel slightly silly sliding on my Jamaal Charles jersey. Here I am, a grown man, wearing a mock-uniform that another man, a man with actual talent, wears for his job.
Imagine if Jamaal Charles wore a Patrick Allen uniform. Which, give that I work from home, would consist of a pair of boxer shorts and white t-shirts in various stages of whiteness. On my uniform, Charles would have “Allen” printed on the tag of the boxers, rather than on the back. Don’t worry though, Jamaal. Working from home in the blogging industry is way more than just livin the dream of no pants. For formal events and Google Hangout conference calls with other FanSided officials, I have a pair of pinstriped boxers.
Anyway, my point is, I like sporting my Chiefs jerseys and I’m not afraid to admit it.
But any seasoned fan can tell you that buying the jersey of an NFL player is a risky proposition. Do you REALLY want that Larry Johnson jersey? Well, maybe you did then, but do you now? Do you still wear it and hope that people just don’t notice the big #27 on the front in and the back, secretly hoping they think you’re wearing a DERRICK Johnson jersey?
Did the Matt Cassel I special ordered from China (the one I paid to have altered because it was so long it looked like I was wearing a really ugly dress) really pay off for me? What the hell am I going to do with that Matt Cassel jersey now? It’s got the stitched on numbers and everything! The NFL hocks those things for $100s of dollars. Oh, well, at least I only paid $40. Plus $12 for the alteration. Eat it, NFL!
Where was I?
How about that bad ass black and red Tony Gonzalez jersey I bought like 4 months before Scott Pioli traded him? You know what I am talking about, right? Those alternate Chiefs uniforms the NFL sold for a while that the team has never actually worn? I know a lot of people hate those jerseys but I loved them.
I wore that thing one time, while watching another team play in the Super Bowl. Such is the life of a Chiefs fan.
At least with the Gonzo jersey, I can bust that think out of the closet again after he retires. Especially if he stays true to his word and retires a Chief.
So all the rambling brings us to the question at hand. What are the coolest Chiefs jerseys to own?
Do you roll only with current players? What about just old school guys who have already cemented their legacy? Or do you like to mix up your favorite players with your old school guys?
I am starting to feel more and more like I should only target the old school. Even though I wasn’t old enough to enjoy their careers, I’d feel less like a chump wearing a Bobby Bell jersey than I would wearing Kendrell Bell.
Then again, their is a certain hilariousness to having obscure jerseys of players that most folks might not even remember played for the Chiefs. Like, who doesn’t enjoy going to Arrowhead and seeing someone busting out a Pat Surtain jersey? Is there anything more satisfying than drunkenly stumbling into the stadium bathrooms only to see Steve Bono and Keith Cash standing there taking a piss with a urinal between them, just calling to you to join them in your Webster Slaughter jersey?
I was at Arrowhead back in 2010 for the Monday Night Magic victory against the Chargers. I was there with a friend of mine who, I sh*t you not, is named Patrick Allen. We walked down and were watching warmups when Chiefs punter Dustin Colquitt walked by and began signing autographs. Patrick (my friend, not me) got really excited and called out “Dustin, will you sign my Colquitt jersey?”
Dustin looked up at him. This had to be a strange thing for Dustin to hear. For one thing, no matter how much you get used to it, it has to be strange to hear someone call out your name to ask you if you will sign their piece of clothing that has your name on it. For another, it probably isn’t something a punter ever expects to hear.
I mean, at the time, Dustin was our best player.
I’m not exactly sure where I stand on this issue any more. On one hand, I’d love to have a Brandon Flowers jersey. But I’ve been burned before. I’m hesitant.
Perhaps, the coolness of the jersey is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe one day, my Matt Cassel jersey will be just as cool as one of those vintage Damon Huards.
All right, Addicts. I’ve mused enough. I want your thoughts on the matter. What os the coolest Chiefs jersey to own?
I know, I know… Derrick Thomas.
Tags: Kansas City Chiefs