If you think that after having a miserable 2-114 season, the Kansas City Chiefs would want to do everything in their power to make their season ticket holders forget all about 2012, you’d be wrong.
The Kansas City Chiefs, specifically the marketing department, wants you to remember the team went 2-14 and fired its coach.
And they want you to renew your season tickets because of it.
In an email sent out to season ticket holders today, the Chiefs touted their being the worst team in the NFL as a reason to keep on shelling out money to the organization.
The email begins:
I hope you had a great holiday. The NFL just sent me the format for the 2013 schedule so I thought I would share this with you too. Below are the Chiefs home opponents for the 2013 season and attached is how each team in the NFL’s schedule was determined.
Next, the Chiefs display the helmets of the teams the Chiefs will lose to at Arrowhead next season. They cleverly put the helmets in the order from biggest drawing power, starting with the Cowboys moving through the rest of the non-divisional opponents then to the AFC West teams before sticking the Browns at the end. I guess we know what the marketing department thinks of the Browns. They are fully aware that the only home game the Chiefs might have a chance of winning next year is also the same game nobody will want to go see.
Next, we get to the money quote:
As you can see it’s a pretty exciting schedule. There is a lot to look forward to this year with the first pick of the draft and a new head coach. If you need anything please feel free to contact me here. My direct line is ###-###-####.
This is just pitiful.
Allow us to re-write this email to display what it is actually saying.
I hope you had a great holiday.
The NFLMy boss just sent me the format for the 2013 schedule so I thought I would share this with you too.make a desperate ploy to get you to renew your season tickets immediately following a season in which season tickets to the Chiefs were being unloaded on Stub Hub for less than the cost of an order of 20-piece Chicken McNuggets from McDonalds. Below are the Chiefs home opponents for the 2013 season and attached is how each team in the NFL’s schedule was determined.
As you can see
it’s a pretty exciting scheduleit is pretty much a murderer’s row of opponents. In fact, the Chiefs lost a combined eight games in 2012 to teams on this list, which is pretty impressive considering they didn’t even play three of them. There is a lot to look forward to this year with the first pick of the draft and a new head coach.We were the worst team in the NFL last season and as such, we have the humiliating distinction of picking first in this April’s NFL Draft. Our team also has no coach and we may fire our GM in the coming days. We aren’t sure yet. If you need anything please feel free toare willing renew your season tickets, despite the clear evidence that you have a better chance of winning the Power Ball than getting a decent return on your investment, please for the love of God contact me here.
We now return you to “Andy Reid Watch 2013.”