Denny Medley-US PRESSWIRE

Earth to Chiefs: Stop Doing What You’re Doing

After the Thursday Night Thrashing at the hands of the San Diego Chargers, we expected some big changes. Addicts everywhere have been clamoring for Clark to pull Pioli and can Crennel. Instead, we had nothing but an eerie silence, like the prelude to a horrific axe murderer jumping out of the shadows in a cheap horror flick. Well, that’s until Monday. With the signing of Shaun Smith (at the very least, I know this brought a smile to every Addict’s face!), the surprise release of Stanford Routt (whoa) and promoting Gary Gibbs to Defensive Coordinator (finally!), the Chiefs’ front office finally is making some moves.

We are an incredible four games out of first place with only eight games played, and we’ve got a road game against a Steelers team riding high after a gutsy win over the Giants. And speaking of cheap horror flicks, we’ve now got to face the NFL’s version of Jason from Friday the 13th – our very own Todd Haley – dressed in filthy rags with that permanent mask of a scowl on his face. Haley, like Crennel, is a great coach for one side of the ball, but a terrible coach of the whole team. True to form, Haley has the Steelers’ offense on a roll and just like Jason, he’ll be looking for revenge. To make matters worse, the Steelers’ defense is first in the league in yards allowed, first in pass defense and seventh against the run. Haley knows our roster inside and out and understands our players’ tendencies, strengths and weaknesses. He is also burning like a bat out of hell to stick it to Pioli and Hunt. And his craziness will further incite the already feisty defense, all under the bright lights of Monday Night Football.

For Clark Hunt and our beloved Chiefs, something has gotta give, and that something has got to be more than just a few player transactions and a change in coaching that we’ve all been calling for since the second week of the season. In other words, we can’t do the same things over and over again and expect different results, and in particular, with a second straight week of national attention and potential ridicule.

Crennel will have had 10 days to get his team ready (although this luxury didn’t help so much during the bye week). Aside from the litany of obvious changes that we need – stop the turnovers, run the ball more, stop giving up big plays and try leading a ballgame for once, here are some additional changes that I think need to be made if we are to have a prayer of defeating the Steelers.

Copy Haley’s Dink and Dunk Offense: I think we go to the spread offense with Bowe, Baldwin, Breaston, and McCluster all lined up wide and Jamaal Charles as the sole running back. Let Cassel work out of the shotgun with no more than two reads, and hit our receivers for 3-5 yard gains, in the hopes that every now and again, we get a long run after the catch. That might open up a few lanes for Charles as well. Cassel has actually been scrambling pretty well too – that should essentially be his third read, for this year’s team.

Blitz Roethlisberger: Our secondary is so porous that Roethlisberger and Haley will likely just pick us apart. Given the choice between adding an extra coverage player or adding a blitzer, I’d go with a blitzer. Let’s at least put some pressure on Big Ben, rather than let him stand back there all day and pick apart our defense. Let me put it another way: where would you rather see Travis Daniels – knifing in from the secondary or back in coverage?

When in field goal range, go for it on fourth down: Let’s face it. The chances of us winning this game are slim to none. If we ever make it into field goal range against the NFL’s toughest defense, then I think we need to use four downs to matriculate that ball, because we’re not going to beat the Steelers with field goals. We need to give ourselves every opportunity to score touchdowns because I think getting past their 30 yard line is going to be a rare occurrence.

Let Wylie Wun: Whether Arenas starts at cornerback or not, Wylie should take on all weturn duties, both for punting and kickoffs. Wylie can wun weally fast and we need a spawk in the weturn game. Wylie will wun weal good. I pwomise.

Addicts, under the bright lights of Monday Night and aside from the obvious and cosmetic fixes, what do you think our Chiefs need to do to give ourselves a shot at winning?!!

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