A House Divided: Q & A With My Girlfriend The Bears Fan

I brought this upon myself.

When I started dating my girlfriend five years ago, she wasn’t much of a football fan. Born and raised in Chicago, she had a special place in her heart for the Bears and the Illini but her interests were more in the realm of theater and fashion.

Once things turned serious and we moved in together, she noticed I started vanishing for hours at a time on Sunday afternoons in the fall. We live in New York City, you see, and the Kansas City Chiefs don’t get a lot of time on the airwaves out here. Thankfully I found myself a great Chiefs bar in Manhattan. Curious as to why I always came home slightly drunk and surly every Sunday night, she decided to join me for the second game of the 2007 season.

“Maybe I’ll come to the game this week,” she told me. “They’re playing the Bears.”

She didn’t stay long. The bar was overrun with a hoard of KC fans as well as a large group of the worst kind of annoying Jets fans. We were a bit late and there was nowhere to sit. It was not a comfortable situation and she just didn’t care enough to hang.

The Chiefs lost the game 20-10. Damon Huard played QB for the Chiefs and Cedric Benson ran for 101 yards for Chicago.

A lot can change in four years.

My girlfriend now owns at least two Kansas City Chiefs shirts. After years and years of brainwashing, I slowly turned her into a football fan. Just like any good boyfriend, I worked hard to get her on my side. The lovable Chiefs won her over and now she sits next to me on most Sundays to cheer on the boys in red and gold.

She even drafted her first fantasy football team this season. She’s in first place and will be going to the playoffs. I have three teams and two of them are already eliminated from the postseason.

Unfortunately, as her love of the game grows, so does her affection for her Chicago Bears. Sure, she roots for the Chiefs but she’s from Chicago. He dad is a Bears fan. I’m not so foolish as to try to challenge her father.

So today the enemy is on my couch. She’s eating my chips and drinking my beer. Inspired by our “Inside The Enemy Camp” series where we talk with a writer from the site of the team the Chiefs are playing, I decided to do a brief Q & A with my girlfriend the Bears fan this week.

Before you met me you didn’t know a whole lot about football. Now you have a fantasy football team and you know what a safety is. Despite being from Chicago, don’t you owe it to me to cheer for the Chiefs this weekend?  

The way I see it, you owe me every Sunday, Monday night, and sometimes Thursday for 16 weeks out of the next five years for my pain and suffering.

Fair enough. You cheer for the Bears out of duty to your hometown. But you also own at least two Kansas City Chiefs shirts because I’ve turned you into a fan of the almighty Red and Gold. Yet still you cheer for the Bears. That is fine. I understand holding on to your roots. I grew up outside of Cleveland and cheer for the Browns every week they aren’t playing the Chiefs. When they do play the Chiefs, however, I’m for the guys in red.

Shouldn’t you do the same and root for the Chiefs when the play the Bears? 

Like most sports fans I know, I didn’t choose the Bears, they chose me. Maybe now is a good time for you to explain to the good people of Cleveland why you, like someone else we all know, abandoned them.

Well played. Which injured, currently useless QB do you like better? Matt Cassel or Jay Cutler?

I don’t know, they both seem to suck.

Are you going to get mad at me when when I laugh and cheer after Tamba Hali rips Caleb Hanie’s head off and kicks a field goal with it?

Who is Caleb Hanie again?

 Who is your favorite Chiefs player and why?

D Bowe. He’s won me some fantasy squeakers.

Lovie or Haley?

Lovie.  He shaves.  And just seems nicer than Haley.

Shaving and showers are overrated for football coaches. Forte or Jamaal Charles?

They’re both cute.  I have to say I like the dreads on Charles.

Are you starting D-Bowe in Fantasy this week?

Yes – Adrian Peterson is hurt.

If Todd Haley plays Tyler Palko over Kyle Orton for the entire first half, will you start cheering for the Chiefs in the second half out of pity for me?

I won’t cheer, but I probably won’t rub it in your face either.  Because I’m a much nicer person than you are.

Lastly, how do I avoid sleeping on the couch Sunday night?

Buying me dinner is always a good start

It isn’t often that a situation like this comes along. It will be years before the Chiefs play the Bears again unless they meet in the Super Bowl. Thank goodness for that.

So remember, Addicts, no matter how bad things get for the Chiefs today, just remember that you don’t have it as bad as me. Because at my house even if the Chiefs win, I lose.