The Top Ten Crazy Effects Of The Lockout

Now that the Lockout (it gets a capital letter now because it’s become it’s own entity) is over, we can take a moment to look back at it’s freakiest repercussions.

10. The Players want to start training camp. More players than ever before can be heard stating that they are now wanting to start the grueling regimen of training camp.

9. There will still be four meaningless, lackluster, boring old pre-season games to wade though. However, most of us will gladly take a pre-season game over what we’ve been dished the past 5 months.

8. The idea of a “Lockout” became so popular during this period that the NBA decided to give it a try. It’s such a copy-cat league.

7. The Lockout lasted so long we’ve seen… a space program… a royal wedding… a new American Idol… a 16 pound baby birthed in Texas…a Spring Break, an Easter, a Memorial Day, and a 4th of July… all come to pass.

6. Every fan, from the casual to the avid, can now, with 100% assurity, know that the owners and the players truly mean it when they say, “we’re doing this for the fans.”

5. Who would have thought that the Lockout could have created such a great yearning for the old days… when the dominant off-season story was… The Favre Watch. Well, maybe not.

4. Oddly, certain veteran players may have been stalling to put off “the voting”… to prolong the process and maintain their current starting job. Meanwhile, other veteran players (free agents) may have been pushing to “vote in-favor” ASAP without regards for the details… so they can have a better chance at  the big bucks that comes with a longer free agency period.

3. NFLPA officials, owners and attorneys create a multi-faceted legal treaty that takes 5 months to construct… and then expect the players to read and agree to it… in a single day. Seems reasonable to expect a guy like Shaun Smith to go from grasping gonads to grasping  judiciary oversight.

2. Women, children and beasts of the “field” will all rest easier tonight knowing that, as  Gregg Rosnethall of PFT put it, “the owners will get more money in this CBA.”

1. For months now fans across the nation have had to suffer through a protracted and unexpected availability of the men in their families. Fortunately, for the rest of the family, this comes to an end today.