The Morning Fix: Big Matt Monday Edition

Happy Memorial Day, Addicts.  Paddy is soaking up his last few hours of whores, booze and pills before returning to the Chiefs grind, so he’s left me the keys to the castle today.  A mistake?  Yes, most definitely.  But the guy needed a vacay, people, so your perverted uncle has come to babysit today.  I know its uncomfortable, but you’ll get through it.  Say…..any of you kids ever seen an apendectomy scar?

We’re gonna start with a Gretz piece today.  Normally if I mention Gretz in a post you can bet some clownin’ is on the way, but the guy dropped some truth last week and deserves a little dap.  I’ve literally never seen him do that before.  Although to be honest the last time I read him was during his laughable attempt to call out Whitlock.  Man, that whole scenario was hilarious. 

Take the money saved by firing all those long-term Chiefs employees, along with the money not spent on free agents, plus the money not spent to pay workout bonuses and Hunt should have a nice little lockout nest egg to see him through a lockout created by the owners.

Instead, he’s cutting the salaries of secretaries and other low-pay employees, and taking even larger slices from scouts and coaches who make more money and for the most part give up their lives in doing their jobs for the franchise. That’s some loyalty being shown everyone in the building.

Sadly, there are plenty of other owners that have made similar short-sighted decisions, so Clark Hunt has a lot of companions sharing that management dunce cap as they keep crying wolf.

http://www.bobgretz.com/chiefs-football/owners-cry-wolf-%e2%80%a6-weekend-keg-o%e2%80%99chiefs.html

more after the jump:

Next we’ll be moving to another unlikely link from me, kcchiefs.com.  Or, as I sometimes see it referred to, the mothership (lamest nickname ever?).  I usually avoid this propoganda dump like the plague, but its time to recognize some heroes.

In response to the tragic tornadoes that touched down in Joplin, Mo. and Reading, Kan. this weekend, the Kansas City Chiefs will contribute $35,000 to disaster-relief efforts.

Fans are also encouraged to stay tuned to the Chiefs official broadcast partners who will be actively involved in promoting the relief efforts and updating viewers and listeners on how to stay involved in the recovery efforts.

http://www.kcchiefs.com/news/article-2/CHIEFS-ANNOUNCE-DONATION-TEAM-WITH-MEDIA-PARTNERS-SALVATION-ARMY-HEART-TO-HEART-INTERNATIONAL/5d3da985-f688-410e-9879-fc840ea9fece

Step 1: Make modest donation.

Step 2: Announce donation on own website in all capital letters

Step 3: Put in a plug for broadcast partners

Step 4: Write off donation

I’m sorry, but is $35k really all Clunt can muster for this?  I’m honestly surprised they even let that # go public.  It seems very, very low to me.  But then, I clearly don’t understand the burdens of ownership.  If I owned the team I probably wouldn’t even be smart enough to charge $25 for parking. 

Jonathan Baldwin, Kansas City’s first-round draft choice, is a wide receiver from the hard streets of Aliquippa, near Pittsburgh. He was in town to work out with Cassel. When they finished a double-session of throwing Wednesday, Baldwin texted Cassel and said: “I think we should go to Joplin and help out.” They were off to Joplin the next morning.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/peter_king/05/30/mmqb/

Not only are Matt Cassel and Jonathan Baldwin already hanging out, they drove to Joplin together to volunteer.  I thought that was very, very cool.  I have to say, my first impression of Baldwin has been really positive.  Seems like maybe the Chiefs did their homework on this guy.  I know its early, but man, I’m impressed. 

And now, finally, a self-plug.  My movie review site had been dormant for the last month or so, but I’ve just now reached a point in my life where I have some time for it again.  Anyone in the market for some amateur film criticism?  From a guy with no formal training or expertise?  Right this way!  No, this isn’t Chiefs-related, but I think I’ve shown remarkable restraint not linking myself until now.

I’m also not going to hate on Chris Hemsworth’s performance as the title character, because I feel like he did what they asked him to.  Had blond hair, got really jacked.  Like, crazy jacked.  I always chuckle the first time a male lead takes his shirt off these days.  Every one of them is as chiselled as Arnold was in The Terminator.  Imagine if when you’d first seen that movie, someone would’ve told you in 20 years time all actors’ bodies would look like that.  It would’ve seemed inconceivable.  Yet here we are.  Progress!

http://subwaymovies.wordpress.com/2011/05/30/a-boy-and-his-hammer/

Hope your holiday is smashing, addicts.  I’ll be back with more throughout the day.