Arrowhead Stadium! It’s legendary in the NFL! Every time I go its a whole new experience! As loyal AA readers may know “ad naseum”, well I love the damn place! Crazy stuff happens. Like DJ Ashba’s appearance, you never know whats next.
If you’re like me, you have a regular nine to five. Mature behavior and responsible conduct for a man my age is expected. A concept I understand and accept.
But at a Chiefs Sunday home game?
Well I must say I don’t know how I’d make it through the year without them.
On the way to the game, this Arrowhead Addict follows required traffic protocol to the letter. You won’t catch me texting and driving. If a lane change is required, I’ll signal my intention. If you catch me at a four way, you’re going to see a complete stop before this square peg proceeds.
When the transmission hits park in Section C, however, as they say in comic book land, your Arrowhead Adventurer undergoes a startling transformation.
The casual observer might see me push a donkey fan out of my way in the ticket scan line, which will quickly escalate to a shoving match, followed by one unlucky participant spending some time in the “Arrowheadlock”.
Insults will be hurled, obscene gestures might be traded, and the loser will dash around the corner to the freedom of a bright sunny day at the best stadium in the world.
Smell some bratwurst cooking?
Me too! You won’t see me though, just a red and gold flash as a Raiders fan’s bratwurst inventory is depleted from his $5.99 hibachi rig. A “Welcome to Arrowhead Raiders Fans!” gesture will be left as payment. Bless his heart.
More after the jump.
Hmm, you thought pants were required at Arrowhead, eh?
Well as a matter of fact, they are! That Steelers fan had a pair on before a red and gold flash of wind pulled them down around his ankles. His fault he didn’t wear underwear that day.
Good luck starting your car Mr. Packer fan! You might have better luck if you remove that sweet potato the red and gold flash stuck in the exhaust of your Rent-a-Wreck !
Watch the Bills fan squirm uncomfortably in his cold seat! But wait….a closer look reveals its not just cold but wet! The red and gold flash left a nice squishy paper towel in his chair to make his stay nice and comfortable. Welcome to Arrowhead Mr. Last Place.
All good things must come to an end I realize, as I keep four car lengths behind the loser cheesehead’s car and signal 50 feet before I hit the off-ramp to I-435 South, then set the cruise at a safe 5 mph below the speed limit.
But a smile crosses my face as I grab a handful of samples at Osceola Cheese, and realize I’ll be back four more precious Sundays before the seasons end.
Aaaah Arrowhead! No place like her on earth.