Arrowhead Addict Continues Ruthless and Baseless Attacks on Arrowhead Addict
This doesn’t make me feel good to type, but I regret to inform all Addicts out there that we are under attack.
Yours truly, the co-lead most awesomest blogger of die-hard Chiefs blog Arrowhead Addict, has been slandered without merit by esteemed colleague some guy named Patrick “Porn ‘Stache” Allen, a gentleman who expertly writes for Cleveland Cavaliers blog King James Gospel, and apparently writes on Arrowhead Addict from time to time. And he has accused me, the Internet’s most beloved and respected blogger this side of Chris Thorman, of perpetuating “absurdity,” “madness,” and “baffling” “fantasy.” And I’m pretty sure he said I have cankles.
Ladies and gentleman, let there be no mistake. We have just hit DEFCON-4. Because I will NOT allow Arrowhead Addict to be dragged down into the mud by anybody, including Arrowhead Addict, however shameful those jerk-offs already are.
Mr. Stache accuses me of wanting to trade Matt Cassel to make room for Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen, who I’ve been pimping this offseason for the Chiefs to take. (No, not the bad kind of pimping. The good kind of pimping.)
I want the Chiefs to hold onto Cassel, especially if they draft Clausen with the #5 overall selection. This serves the dual purpose of (a.) giving Clausen time to groom (even though he likely doesn’t need that much), and (b.) giving Cassel some push from behind (please don’t confuse this for the bad kind of pimping…). This overall lands us in a great situation, ensuring that we get the best possible shot at locking down the quarterback position.
What happens if Cassel takes off? Well, Brodie Croyle likely becomes a trading commodity (which he probably already is). And we can have Clausen stick around for at least a couple years a la Aaron Rodgers by the time Cassel’s great play either deteriorates or continues to the point of us having to trade off Clausen.
What if Cassel doesn’t take off? Then we have acquired the best possible quarterback of the future for Weis to start in that situation, and Cassel could be relegated back to what would be his best possible role: reliable backup. And his contract’s outrageousness ends after a couple of years. But my main point is that I don’t want Cassel to be traded unless it’s for something outrageous (1st + a 3rd?), and I don’t want to see him in Denver. Period.
Now, Mr. Stache did rightfully accuse me of wanting the Chiefs to pick up Clausen. The historic possibilities of picking up the Draft’s best quarterback has excited me enough to post about it again and again and again, to repeated howls from the likes of Mr. Stupid Stache Allen.
For quite some time now, I was the only man standing in this rock ‘n’ roll band until the handsome Jon Yoon of Arrowhead Pride came to my rescue, drawing the ire of 610 radio’s Nick Wright, and prompting Arrowhead Addict’s Patrick Allen to come to his rescue.
A total Chiefs media smackdown! Woooooo! (Right now everybody involved looks like this.)
Pioli swooped in and said QB wasn’t on the Chiefs radar. And no, that definitely won’t slow me down. Not when I think we have a historic opportunity in front of us and and this team’s best possible future, outside of the obvious selection of Tennessee’s Eric Berry. Nobody can keep me from exercising my duty as a fan, especially not even the clowns at Arrowhead Addict, who for all I know are planning for the next ridiculous player to promote at #5 overall. I mean honestly guys, CJ Spiller? Really? What are these guys on?
A message to Mr. Patrick Allen, if that is your real name: You stood up for a man under attack. You stood up for the meek. Well get ready, sister, because the meek shall inherit the earth. And if you don’t stop trying to destroy Arrowhead Addict with your wanton disregard for Blogger Reputation, than I will respond to you like I do to everything else: by blogging about it in my underwear in my mother’s basement.