AA Greeting: Welcome To Haterville

Every Monday, Arrowhead Addict editor/lead writer Adam Best will kick off the week with his AA Greeting — his one-of-a-kind POV on all things Chiefs.

Since the Oscars just recently went down, I thought we’d honor the biggest haters from free agency’s opening weekend. Drumroll, please…

Slumblog Millionaire – Merlin

“Caveat Emptor” came off as sour grapes. He wanted Jon Kitna and Tyler Thigpen, while yours truly and a whole lot of others wanted Matt Cassel or a comparable young quarterback. He didn’t get his way, so he tried to paint the move as a mistake. He even went Scott Mitchell on us, which I would have given him points for if he had of actually come up with the zinger on his own. Daddy Defense, like Slumdog Millionaire, your views typically represent all the “little people,” and are presented with a lot of heart. Not this time. “Caveat Emptor” was completely out of touch. Wack.

In Borges – Ron Borges

Who? Who? Never heard of the guy. His whole column just sounds like some serious homespun hatin’ to me. There are “far more personnel men” who think Cassel’s a flop than a franchise quarterback? Really? Who have you been listening to and reading? I’ve heard just the opposite. But screw hearsay; Cassel made a believer out of me late last season, when he went 4-0 down the stretch and posted ridiculous numbers. I understand, Borges — you’re a Bill Belichick apologist. He’s obviously got your balls in his Darth Vader-like vice grip. Even Colin Farrell’s performance in In Bruges didn’t make me laugh as much as your column. You’re a funny guy, Borges.

The Readerless – Jay Mariotti

I’d listen to just about anybody before the guy who gets clowned live and in living color by Woody Paige on almost a daily basis. Conspiracy theory? Not when your fellow haters are calling Cassel and Mike Vrabel a bench-riding phony and a washed-up snitch, respectively. If last year’s Pau Gasol trade in the NBA didn’t get overturned, there is no way this is even going to get investigated. What a desperate attempt to regain some readership after getting canned from the Chicago Sun-Times. Just how I don’t understand The Reader getting the props it did on the awards circuit, I don’t understand how Mariotti has managed to stay relevant for so long.

The Dark Write – Jason Whitlock

Boy, did Jason do some serious damage this past weekend. Way to cast a dark shadow over one of the few happy moments Chiefs fans have experienced during the past few years, Big Sexy.

First off, since he enjoys mafia references, he played the role of Luca Brasi for the Godfather of the Chiefs locker room, Brian Waters. Considering they are dealing with The Pioli Trinity and not King Carl and his consigliere Herm Edwards, I wouldn’t be surprised if B-Dub and Big Sexy were sleeping with the fishes soon. Can’t you just see the Trinity wacking them out as the No. 3 pick gets baptized, er, selected?

But seriously, nobody else even talked about Waters last weekend. After considering that, doesn’t it seem like Big Sexy was simply trying to stir the pot? His rivalry with Carl Peterson was his bread and butter, so it doesn’t surprise me that he wasted no time kicking off his feud with the new regime. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Waters and Whitlock are cool, and I’m sure this was partially done as a favor to Waters. But the big fella definitely had his own agenda.

Then there was his column on the Cassel-Vrabel trade. You know, the one where he belittled Scott Pioli and Tood Haley by calling them Scott Belichick and Todd Parcells. You know Jason, I could do that to you. You have a mentor, too — the late, great Ralph Wiley. I could call you Ralph Whitlock. Real funny, huh? Ha, ha. They went out and did what you, myself and everybody else who covers the Chiefs had been begging them to do for, well, freakin’ forever  — get a franchise quarterback! — and you respond by blasting them for it? Not only that, you went on to compare Haley to Dick Vermeil and Pioli to “King Carl on steroids” not long after you openly campaigned for both men. Worst of all, you welcomed three-time Super Bowl champion and 2007 Pro Bowler Vrabel to Kansas City by calling him a “snitch.” You, my friend, have watched one episode too many of The Wire.

Jason, Jason, Jason. Sometimes there’s no columnist I like better. I have no problem admitting it; for years now I’ve been both one of your biggest fans and your biggest critics. Why? Because when you’re on, you’re as good as anybody. Like the piece you did on the drug war and incarceration for Playboy last year. I always enjoy your FOX Sports columns as well (except when you called Chad Johnson a bojangler, that is). But sometimes you play the contrarian just so you can take the slant that nobody else is taking. Just admit it. I even see why you do it. It makes you look like an independent, outside-the-box thinker with brass balls, plus it stirs up conversation.

This concocted contrarian act is getting a little stale. We’ve seen it more times than Brandon Marshall’s been arrested at this point. Hey, all of us writers do things to elevate our own status and boost our readership. I can admit that I do it, too. But acting like Waters’ pushy divorce lawyer and throwing the new regime and their first two high-profile acquisitions under the bus in the same weekend was completely uncalled for. Especially considering that we are still in the honeymoon period. Besides, can’t you just let us enjoy possibly the biggest trade acquisition in the history of the franchise for a little while? Would that kill you?

Like The Dark Knight, you were the outcast on this one. Problem is, we just got rid of the Joker, we don’t want your gloom and doom right now, and we’re not down with you trying to turn Scott Pioli into Scotty Two-Face.

Brian Waters Trade?

If the Bills are willing to pull the trigger on a trade for Brian Waters, I’d make that deal. Waters signed his divorce papers this past weekend and he’s already 32. Plus, he still has value. I think we could get a third-rounder for him (We’re not going to get a fifth-rounder, too, as he’s older than Marcus Stroud.). I think most teams out there understand that old vets and a new regimes sometimes clash, and wouldn’t hold it against Waters. We could find his replacement with one of our two third-rounders.

King On Cassel

Peter King had some great things to say about Cassel in his latest MMQB, including that he thought Cassel was worth a first- and second-round pick plus change, not to mention a long-term contract once the trade was consummated. He also had this discussion with Haley about Cassel over the weekend:

Haley, who worked with Belichick and Charlie Weis with the Jets a decade ago, told me over the weekend what has him thrilled is that the New England offense and the Kansas City offense have the same verbiage and playcalls. “So we won’t have to take the time a new quarterback would normally have to take to get up to speed in a new system,” Haley said. “He knows this system. And I’ve watched so much of him from last year. I see a player who’s learned under a Hall of Fame quarterback in Tom Brady, and who’s so mature for someone with only a year’s experience.”

Those of you who were worried that Cassel would have a more difficult adjustment period than Tyler Thigpen can now relax. It’s also nice to hear our new coach speak so fondly about our new quarterback. God, it felt good to write that sentence.

King goes on to talk about defensive lineman Chris Canty, who apparently signed with the ninth team on his list. Does it bug me a little that we didn’t go after him? Sure it does, just like it bugs me that we aren’t pursuing Derrick Ward and especially T.J. Houshmandzadeh with all that money we have. But in Pioli we must trust. After all, he hasn’t let us down so far.

Free Agency Freeze Tag

Freeze — you’re not it. I guess Clark Hunt wasn’t joking when he told season ticket holders that we weren’t going to go crazy signing players during free agency’s opening weekend. That’s fine with me for two reasons, both of which seem obvious after what we’ve witnessed this weekend:

1. Pioli would rather surrender a draft choice and get a player he really wants, under a somewhat reasonable contract, than overpay for a free agent he doesn’t like quite as much. See: Bart Scott/Mike Vrabel. More trades look like they are on the horizon.

2. Pioli likes being the shot-caller, and not vice versa. He’s waiting until some of the remaining teams with cap space have spent their money and the remaining quality free agents have grown desperate.

Always waiting for The Pioli Trinity to methodically make their moves is a bit frustrating, especially when they don’t leak any information. Nonetheless, they have accomplished so much in so little time that we should continue to be patient.

Cutler Cut Loose?

Maybe the single greatest part of the Cassel trade is that it has destroyed the budding relationship between new Broncos coach Josh McDaniels, a QB guru if there ever was one, and Jay Cutler. Despite the spin from Broncos backers out there, it now looks like Cutler wants out of the Mile High City. The Bucs, Lions and Vikings are all interested in the young QB. The AFC West sans Cutler would be a much prettier place for the Chiefs to be, wouldn’t it?

Chiefs to the AFC South?

The Old Chief and I have a theory. We think that the Jaguars are going broke and will eventually wind up playing in that new stadium L.A. is building. I mean, can you really see the Bills or Vikings getting relocated? No, but you can see the Jags getting moved. If that happens, the divisions would have to be realigned. I think the NFL would move the Rams to the AFC South and the Jags to the NFC West. My reasoning? I think rivalries are more important than even geography, and that Roger Goodell realizes that. My old man thinks that the Chiefs and Jags would swap divisions, stating that the old NFL teams hate switching to the AFC.

I hope the latter is not the case. If the Jags do ever make the move, I can assure you that A.A. will be among those fighting on the front lines to keep the Chiefs in the AFC West.

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Tags: Brian Waters Chris Canty Jaguars Jason Whitlock Jay Cutler Jay Mariotti Josh Mcdaniels Kansas City Chiefs Los Angeles NFL Team Matt Cassel Mike Vrabel Peter King Ron Borges Todd Haley Trade

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