As most of you know, I used to be Larry Johnson’s Internet wingman.
I repped my No. 27 jersey every single Chiefs game. I demanded that Carl Peterson re-sign him to a megadeal when he held out, which was not a popular stance with my fellow Chiefs fans. I pretty much castrated anyone who even suggested the possibility of L.J. getting traded, either to me personally or in our comments. Arrowhead Addict had your back like no other branch of Chiefs Nation did. We had your back, and we had it all the way.
Hey, I was wrong. I lead you all down the wrong path. I’m sorry for that.
Larry Johnson is a P.O.S. human being whose best football days are behind him. During the past year, Johnson’s true colors have emerged. We should have traded him to Green Bay before the 2007 season. Sorry, Jared Allen, we traded the wrong guy. I just now figured that out, in large part due to this dagger sticking out of my back that’s covered in bling and has a Roc-A-Fella logo on it.
After a season where Johnson pretty much put up Ahman Green-in-Houston numbers and assaulted his 147th hoodrat while clubbin’ in K.C., he’s acting like everything is our fault? He says we’re the bad guys, Chiefs Nation. He even went all Scarface on us. I kid you not. From PFT:
In an interview on 610 Sports in Kansas City, Johnson made his case for a “clean break.”
He said that Kansas isn’t “a fit for me anymore,” pointing generally to the “environment and things that went on.”
“No sense of delaying the inevitable . . . I think it’s time for us to break ties,” Johnson said.
The interview began with a quote from the film Scarface, which Johnson specifically requested.
“You’re all a bunch of f–king assholes,” Al Pacino as Tony Montana said in the quote. “You know why? You don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be. You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your f–king fingers and say, ‘That’s the bad guy.’
“So, what [does] that make you, good? You’re not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don’t have that card. Me, I always tell the truth, even when I lie.”
So how did Johnson explain the reason for requesting that quote? “That’s sometimes how I feel when I go in and out of Kansas City,” Johnson said.
You make me sick, Larry Johnson. You call out us fans, after all we’ve done for you? You know how many No. 27 jerseys have been floating around Arrowhead the past five years? Or what about the time when we dubbed you Iron Man and saved you from the gayest nickname of all time — Centaur? Do you have any idea how many Chiefs fans used to throw their diamonds up every time you scored? The key phrase being “used to.”
L.J., we are officially done with you. Dick Vermeil was actually right about you being a crybaby. I guess it takes one to know one. And now we know that your touchdown celebration really is a vagina.
We will never, ever show you any support again. We will never, ever picture you in a Chiefs jersey again. A turncoat like you doesn’t deserve to rock the Red and Gold. You’re dead to us now. You’re Fredo. I wish I owned a boat and knew a guy named Al so he could take you fishing.
You wanna go to war, Larry? Fine. Let’s do this…