On the final season of the Sunday, I took a brief respite from snowmobiling across the frozen tundra of Northern Wisconsin with my in-laws. Northern Wisconsin is populated with numerous snowmobile trails punctuated by many small pubs and bars. It was with great anticipation that I could be listening to the voice of the Chiefs’ Mitch Holtus on XM on my way to watching the Chiefs at a local pub.
I climbed into my car only to find that the merger of XM with Sirius did not include the NFL package. I then sped to S.A. Loon’s, the nearest bar, hoping to see the Chiefs. This bar was full of 29 TV’s with all but two of them having that great Lions-Packers match-up. The other two TV’s? They were showing the Bears-Texans and Giants-Vikings games. I inquired of a bar maid, “Any chance we could get the Chiefs-Bengals on one of the screens?” “Nope,” she replied “You gotta be kidding me — this is PACKER COUNTRY!”
I promptly left the premises with the hope that some other bar would be more amiable. I entered Stingrays, a smoky, smallish bar with approximately 40 beared men in snowsuits huddled around nine big screens, again all featuring thr Lions-Packers game. In the corner there were two 20-inch models sporting the Vikings and Bears games. “What about the Chiefs-Bengals?” I exclaimed. A Paul Bunyanesque man approached me, obviously irritated by inquiry.
“This is the NFC North — no AFC bullshit here. Get the f*** out of here.” I promptly left, sensing an obvious beatdown in the making. He was 20 years my junior and outweighed me by at least one hundred pounds.
I next entered Hart II, a smallish bar with an even smaller clientele. This bar was clearly an afterthought; only one TV, with no Direct TV, and only one type of beer, which was Miller High Life.
After such a runaround, I finally settled at the 19th Hole. This bar was set in a modern wood-made cabin, smoke-free and full of middle age men and women in sweaters and sport coats watching two large big screen TVs featuring, of course, the game of all games — Lions-Packers. I accepted my fate — no Chiefs today.
As the scores rolled in along the bottom of the screen, I realized that there would be no need for the fourth-quarter collapse for which the Genius of Defeat (Herm Edwards) has become famous. As a consequence, I turned my attention to the Lions. They scored to tie the game at 14. I felt empathy for our lowlife brethren, even though their last victory came at the expense of our Chiefs just over a year ago.
Suddenly the bartender came to me and shouted, “One more display of emotion for the Lions and I will personally escort you from this bar.” I sat dumbfounded by the intimidators from the North. The fanatics from Wisconsin had rudely limited my freedom of choice and expression.
As I left the bar with the Chiefs defeat secured (no they didn’t even show a highlight, or lowlight, of the game), I vowed to myself 2009 would be different. The prospects of a new Chiefs franchise with a young vibrant owner, a new GM and coach lifeted my spirits. To my fellow Chiefs fans, I state, as we rebuild our once-proud franchise,let us also rebuild our attitiudes and tolerances and become better fans than OUR BRETHEREN OF THE NFC NORTH!
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