On the final season of the Sunday, I took a brief respite from snowmobiling across the frozen tundra of Northern Wisconsin with my in-laws. Northern Wisconsin is populated with numerous snowmobile trails punctuated by many small pubs and bars. It was with great anticipation that I could be listening to the voice of the Chiefs’ Mitch Holtus on XM on my way to watching the Chiefs at a local pub.
I climbed into my car only to find that the merger of XM with Sirius did not include the NFL package. I then sped to S.A. Loon’s, the nearest bar, hoping to see the Chiefs. This bar was full of 29 TV’s with all but two of them having that great Lions-Packers match-up. The other two TV’s? They were showing the Bears-Texans and Giants-Vikings games. I inquired of a bar maid, “Any chance we could get the Chiefs-Bengals on one of the screens?” “Nope,” she replied “You gotta be kidding me — this is PACKER COUNTRY!”
I promptly left the premises with the hope that some other bar would be more amiable. I entered Stingrays, a smoky, smallish bar with approximately 40 beared men in snowsuits huddled around nine big screens, again all featuring thr Lions-Packers game. In the corner there were two 20-inch models sporting the Vikings and Bears games. “What about the Chiefs-Bengals?” I exclaimed. A Paul Bunyanesque man approached me, obviously irritated by inquiry.
“This is the NFC North — no AFC bullshit here. Get the f*** out of here.” I promptly left, sensing an obvious beatdown in the making. He was 20 years my junior and outweighed me by at least one hundred pounds.
I next entered Hart II, a smallish bar with an even smaller clientele. This bar was clearly an afterthought; only one TV, with no Direct TV, and only one type of beer, which was Miller High Life.
After such a runaround, I finally settled at the 19th Hole. This bar was set in a modern wood-made cabin, smoke-free and full of middle age men and women in sweaters and sport coats watching two large big screen TVs featuring, of course, the game of all games — Lions-Packers. I accepted my fate — no Chiefs today.
As the scores rolled in along the bottom of the screen, I realized that there would be no need for the fourth-quarter collapse for which the Genius of Defeat (Herm Edwards) has become famous. As a consequence, I turned my attention to the Lions. They scored to tie the game at 14. I felt empathy for our lowlife brethren, even though their last victory came at the expense of our Chiefs just over a year ago.
Suddenly the bartender came to me and shouted, “One more display of emotion for the Lions and I will personally escort you from this bar.” I sat dumbfounded by the intimidators from the North. The fanatics from Wisconsin had rudely limited my freedom of choice and expression.
As I left the bar with the Chiefs defeat secured (no they didn’t even show a highlight, or lowlight, of the game), I vowed to myself 2009 would be different. The prospects of a new Chiefs franchise with a young vibrant owner, a new GM and coach lifeted my spirits. To my fellow Chiefs fans, I state, as we rebuild our once-proud franchise,let us also rebuild our attitiudes and tolerances and become better fans than OUR BRETHEREN OF THE NFC NORTH!
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I have to give our Packer friends a little leaway as they actually own their team and therefore hold an actual stake in the outcome. When they say it is their team they truly mean it. I have seen the dedicated Green Bay-ians (Bayites?) shovelling their snow from their stadium so their fellow owners could come in and watch their team. It is almost mythical. They may be a “small market” organization, but the citizens are owners. So with that in mind, I give them their due.
I can only add that you were fortunate to have not been at the Vet or old Foxburo. They have a jail in the basement of the old Veterans Stadium for quick processing of the zealots. Drunk Bostonians take cheering their team to a whole new level. How about Giants stadium when the Jets are “home”? One staircase there became a channel of debauchery and numerous women were accosted, several dozen “fans” got arrested. Ever sit in the “black hole”?
So Eric the Red wanted to watch the Packers game, when in Rome…
I did go to the Black Hole, and there’s no way Packland is worse for Chiefs fans. I thought I was going to get the “squeal like a pig, boy” scene from Deliverance reenacted on me with all those ex-cons. Or maybe the curb-bite from American History X. Not going back to that place.
Went there once with a drunk ass Pats fan buddy of mine. We were happy to escape intact. No wonder the tickets were cheaper in that section. We were on tv. It was easy to spot us. We were the two scared guys behind the guy with two skulls on his spiked shoulderpads and had that “just pissed their pants” look. That was us.
I wasn’t actually in the Black Hole. But the hole joint is pretty damn bad. Especially when you are decked out in Chiefs stuff and trying to talk to people for an article. Some of the fans were actually pretty nice in my section. Perhaps that was because the ex-cons and gangbangers got priced out that low?
If we are complainging about other fans I should add to it…
I cannot stand bad fan-dom…Like those in San Diego and Minnesota…two solid teams that have trouble selling out…embarassing…
Also, when they “Boo” for no reason…it is just…pathetic…
complainging? what the hell….
Complaining*
This Old Chief,
It just goes to show that my assertion that Kansas and Missouri are the furthest north outposts of civilized man are essentially correct. If you journey into the far north hinterlands, you pay the price.
Sorry…..in the previous post it should read “is essentially correct.”
““Any chance we could get the Chiefs-Bengals on one of the screens?” “Nope,” she replied “You gotta be kidding me — this is PACKER COUNTRY!””
perfect time to pour yourself another glass from your pitcher then pour that glass on the bar directly looking at person who is supposed to be serving you and walk out.. I used to live in Minneapolis and never ran into anything like this with the Purple fans, but I guess thats in a “city” and not in a small town where no one has ever stood up to the local hard ass.
Sidenote: Snowmobile get ups might be the goofiest looking get ups on the planet.
ill also add this sounds like the bar is South Park were “Skeeter”. He is portrayed as a redneck, and has a strong Southern accent. He is frequently seen at the bar, and usually greets people when they enter by saying, “Hey! We don’t take kindly to” whatever they are “around here.” Then the bartender usually responds, “Now, Skeeter, he/she/they ain’t hurtin’ nobody.”