Why the Chiefs are Cooler Than the Chargers (That Might Actually be True…):
10. Thanks to Chargers fans, there’s a fanbase that cries for the return of Marty Schottenheimer worse than we do. Whoops, forgot about the Pound up in Cleveland.
9. Drew Brees. Michael Turner. Your departed free agent list doubles as an MVP short list. Even Carl Peterson would have trouble spinning those gaffes.
8. Those clowns picked Buster Bust Davis seven picks after Dwayne Bowe. Same college. Same round of the draft. Completely different results.
7. You know your season is going poorly when the best Bolt has been that little cartoon dog.
6. Cletis Gordon sounds like some hillbilly down in Arkansas who’s shotgun marrying his first cousin.
5. Shawn Phillips, aka “the Other Guy,” isn’t much of an other guy without Shawne Merriman around. 2.5 sacks against the Raiders doesn’t mean jack either. Stat padder.
4. Speaking of Shawne, he lost enough of a step when he had to get off the Vitamin S. What’s he going to be like now that he’s a cripple?
3. All of us are sure glad we picked you first in our fantasy leagues, LaDanian Tomlinson. I’m not saying that you’ve lost a step, what I’m saying is that if you do that commercial with Troy Polamalu again next year you’ll get your ass knocked the eff out.
2. Herm Edwards went for two and lost. A.J. Smith took a No. 2 when he hired Norv Turner and lost his team.
1. If you sounded like a Southern Corky from Life Goes On, would you talk as much smack as Philip Rivers does?
Go Chiefs! A little under the weather this morning (which is why there was no vlog), and Zach is at the game. I will be back at some point with my post-game vlog, though. Oh, Mark Bradley is starting!